Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as the UK under our likely new Prime Minister...

Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon

There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that a Trump appointed diplomat can read and write.

I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...

A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he doesn't care what people think of him.
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during World War Two during a press conference in...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

Despite this mornings massacre in Virginia, Americans are celebrating today as June 1st marks 152 days into the year and only 150 mass shootings. "It's super! I genuinely can't remember the last time the number...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be rebuilt without delay, after the Catholic Church and the French...

God refuses to put out Notre Dame fire until he gets 100,000 likes =...

The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke out around 18:00 this evening. Hundreds of thousands of Catholics around...

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a large section of the gothic roof to collapse. Early reports suggest...
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said to have been gutted...
Calendar

Latest theory on the structure of the Gregorian calendar revealed.

Following alleged intense research on the part of our Ace reporter, The Rochdale Herald is able to reveal the latest acadamic theory surrounding the construction of Gregorian Calendar. Professor Archimest Binge, of the Rochdale University,...

Trump’s Wall to be Made Out of Thoughts and Prayers

The latest twist in the ongoing farcical shitshow that is the US President's attempt to build an completely pointless wall simply because he said he would, in order to trick idiots into voting for...
White House Christmas

Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas

Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after the last adult in the White House, General Jim Mattis,...

Trump credited with restoring American faith in Bush

Donald Trump has been given credit for restoring America's faith in Bush. One Bush expert told us, "10 years ago American faith in Bush was at an all time low. It was a dramatic loss....

Trump tells California to use prostitute piss to put fires out

POTATUS has offered to use Government money to harvest the piss of some Russian prostitutes to douse the fires in California. A spokesman said, "POTATUS decidedly that he needed to do something practical to alleviate...

Trump tells California, Cut down all the trees to prevent future forest fires

POTATUS has announced that if all the trees in California were cut down then there would be no forest fires. POTATUS got the idea after discovering that there are no forest fires in Antartica. In...
Donald Trump

Trump attends Paris Armistice commemoration after hearing there is a golf course nearby

POTATUS has attended an Armistice commemoration in Paris a day after demonstrating the sort of spirit that has earned him the nickname, Cadet Bone Spurs. POTATUS failed to attend a commemoration for US war dead...

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