New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

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Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...

Cheap Nutella latest in long list of things French will riot about

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Sweetened hazelnut cocoa spread joins all the other things the frogs are hopping mad about News broke this week that the French, yes, that lot...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

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Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary...

Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane

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Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from...

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

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Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

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Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

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Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Farage takes on Eurovision

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In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

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Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

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There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

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Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...

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