12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag
News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...
Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system
Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system.
A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
The ‘Santa Clause’ prevents Article 50 from being triggered experts warn
In a massive blow to the government, German lawyer Rudolph Shnitz has highlighted a clause in section 4 of article 38 dubbed 'The Santa...
Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit
EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office...
EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”
Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone.
Not since the 11th century has there...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
