Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

6
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

31
A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

0
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Ceuta

Ceuta is nothing like Gibraltar, King Felipe of Spain tells UK without hint of...

8
The Spanish King called for a deal on the status of Gibraltar yesterday. King Felipe VI clarified in no uncertain terms that: “The status of...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

0
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

0
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...

4
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

0
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

0
German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

0
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

0
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

1
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

0
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It...

Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France

0
A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...

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