Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”
Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Downing Street Confirms Gibraltar To Be Closed Down
Downing Street has confirmed that Gibraltar is to be closed.
With the success of Brexit guaranteeing the ability to launder money in the U.K., at...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Macron roasts Le Swan
Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...
David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...
Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you
THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum.
Enric Millo, playing the...
12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower
Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral.
The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Italians face criticism over construction.
The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...
“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.
Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...
