Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants
Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”
Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday.
Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry
Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
British expats outraged as boat full of migrants wash up on their Spanish beach
Beachgoers were surprised by the sight of dozens of migrants scrambling out of the surf today at the Playa de los Alemanes resort in...
Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...
Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation
EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced.
Speaking...
Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone.
Not since the 11th century has there...
Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK
A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit.
Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...
Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy
Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy.
"It's just...
Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Spirit of 2016 alive and well after gunman dressed as Santa kills dozens in...
2017 is already showing great promise as a dreadful, awful parody of a year following a shootout between police officers possibly disguised as Santa Claus and a gunman disguised as Santa Claus in Turkey.
Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person
Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

















































