EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

0
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...

Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award

29
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

0
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

0
In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

0
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Brexiter

Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy

0
Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy. "It's just...
Santa

The ‘Santa Clause’ prevents Article 50 from being triggered experts warn

0
In a massive blow to the government, German lawyer Rudolph Shnitz has highlighted a clause in section 4 of article 38 dubbed 'The Santa...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

0
In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...

Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

4
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...
Ceuta

Ceuta is nothing like Gibraltar, King Felipe of Spain tells UK without hint of...

8
The Spanish King called for a deal on the status of Gibraltar yesterday. King Felipe VI clarified in no uncertain terms that: “The status of...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

0
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

0
Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

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