Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election
Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic.
"Fifty two to forty...
Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.
German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump
German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes.
The news was broken by the German Government...
May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice
In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Hammond to Create National Hoard
In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground.
The hole, believed to...
Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle
There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph.
"It...
Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s
Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...
Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...
Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote
World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...
UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations
The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...
Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate.
Speaking just before...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy
Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy.
"It's just...
German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit
Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
