Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

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In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy

0
A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

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The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

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A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...
Angela Merkel

Merkel Pulls Out of EU Security Council Talks as There’s No German Word for...

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Angela Merkel broke off talks with the EU's British Security Commissioner this week that were about the worsening crisis affecting the free movement of people.
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

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THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...

Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

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The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

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Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

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Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...
Trial by Combat

Theresa May demands Trial by Combat to avoid EU trade negotiations

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She...

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

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Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty...
water cannon

German Police deploy hydration wagons to cool off crowd outside G20 summit

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Police in Hamburg Germany have deployed Mobile Hydration Wagons in an effort to cool down overheated and thirsty crowds gathered out side the G20...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

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Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

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