Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

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The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

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World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

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Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

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Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...

Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry

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Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

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The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

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Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

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When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

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Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq

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Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

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Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

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Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...

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