In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people’s champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year’s Eurovision Song Contest .

Herr Farage, who has been a long time worker in Europe, believes this will give him a huge advantage in the popular talent contest due to already being adored by many across the continent.  He claims people will be surprised when they first hear his vocal talents.

“I like to think my voice has a certain uniqueness to it. I believe I’m a cross between Joe Cocker and Tina Turner due to years of good old British ale and big fat cigars”

He is already deep into rehearsals with his backing band ‘The Ukipers’ and his song ‘I’m Coming Out’ (a cover of that Diana Ross classic) is apparently almost ready to be let loose in the public domain.

Well we here at The Herald will get right behind the single on it’s release and all have fingers crossed he avoids the usual Nil Points.