Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy.
“It’s just like them.” W Kemp commented. “They’ve bled us dry for donkey’s years. Now they’ve gone and nicked our divide and conquer idea too.”
Mrs. Kemp was responding to repeated statements by “that Belgian bastard” who keeps banging on and on about UK citizens being able to cross the channel post Brexit, if they like.
“First it was The Falklands. Now this!” Her husband, Y Kemp chimed in.
“Maggie didn’t let Germany get our Pacific islands and we’re not letting Belgian take our bloody kids away with some nonsense about still being able to travel and live freely in 27 foreign bloody enemy powers!”
In response, a spokesman for David Davis replied,
“Divide and conquer is an English invention. We used it for centuries with Ireland, Wales and Scotland. If the EU thinks it can just waltz about offering unparalleled freedoms to anyone that is interested in not dying in a European land war we’ve got a lesson waiting for them.”
What the lesson was Mr. Davis didn’t explain, but it’s likely he and the PM will agree to guarantee human rights for Brits post Brexit on the condition it’s so eyewateringly expensive only inheritance millionaires will be able to afford it.