Idiot dies in Karmic Avalanche

4
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Teruel in Aragon, Spain, yesterday. Victor Barrio (29), having spent the last 9...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

7
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

0
General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

39
The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

0
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France

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A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...

12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

0
Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

0
Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

0
Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

No Government is better than a bad Government Italy tells UK

0
Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with...
Santa

Scandinavian ‘Too Drunk To Stand’ Following Drunk-Sleighing Arrest

0
Rochdale magistrates heard how a visitor from Lapland, Mr Nicholas Saint (1,747) created havoc in Rochdale with his erratic control over his team of excitable reindeer pulling a bright red sleigh.

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

0
It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...

DUP ask Merkel for one billion Euros to give her their support in Bundestag

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News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

1
The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

Farage takes on Eurovision

0
In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

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