Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

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Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

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After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

EU designates British cockwombles “endangered species”

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Indigenous British cockwombles have been given official European Union "endangered species" designation as their numbers have plummeted due to loss of habitat to invasive...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

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The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...

Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award

29
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

Notre Dame Cathedral fire caused by unattended Chip pan in bell tower

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Parisian fire fighters are currently battling a roaring fire at the Notre Dame cathedral. The fire has caused one of the medieval spires and a...

Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU

7
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.

Macron wants UK to give him head in return for Bayeux tapestry

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Monarchists were today outraged by the suggestion by Emmanuel Macron, President of France, that the severed heads of the British royal family would be...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq

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Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

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A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...

No Government is better than a bad Government Italy tells UK

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Italian President, Sergio Mattarella has told the UK that having no Government is better than having a bad Government following the Italian people electing to go with...

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