12th Doctor Who to Run for French Presidency 

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Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

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Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

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A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...

Police fear French blogger killed in whipped cream accident may have topped herself

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The international irony reservoir was overflowing this week as news came through that French lifestyle and fitness blogger, Becky Fromage-Burger, was slain in her...
Illegal Immigrants boarding ship

New Technology Foils Illegal Immigrants

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In conjunction with the British Government-funded wall in Calais, British officials are working with maritime consultants on methods to physically prevent illegal immigrants from...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...
Spanish Inquisition

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition, says King Felipe of Spain

9
During his state visit, the king of Spain addressed the British parliament yesterday. All went well until the king dropped the G-bomb: Gibraltar. A...

Sponsorship deal agreed for new Emirates Notre Dame Cathedral

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Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...
Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

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When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”

Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane

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Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from...
Belgian Beer

Belgian brewers threaten budget busting Brexit blackmail beer price boost

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The world’s biggest beer company, Belgium based Anheuser-Busch Inbev warned Monday that the drop in value of Sterling in the wake of the UK's...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

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