German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

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Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

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In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...

British Tomahawks Launched As Part Of U.S. Strike Hit Aledo

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It has been revealed that as part of Donald Trump's assault on Syria, two British missiles were launched. These missiles were said to be...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

Farage takes on Eurovision

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In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...

Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award

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The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

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Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

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Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

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With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force"...
Queue

Border Free Travel sounds like a good idea, says Brexit voter who queued four...

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A Brexit voter who spent four hours queueing in passport control has suggested that maybe border free travel in Europe is a good thing. Jo...

Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane

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Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from...
Smiling Liam Fox

Liam Fox Announces Trade Deal With Iraq

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Liam Fox, Secretary of State For International Trade, has followed up the success of his charm offensive with Duterte, the leader of the Philippines...

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