Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

0
Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there...
Trump

You had some very fine people on both sides, Trump tells D-Day veterans

0
Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during...
Happy Children

Tower Block residents look forward to less health and safety legislation post Brexit

7
A recent survey of tenants living in firetrap and substandard accommodation has showed overwhelming support for abolishing laws designed to protect them. The survey for...
Demolition

New EU regulations will require all new houses to have Toulouse

0
Flush from the success of Brexit, the EU Commission has been swift to demonstrate what the future looks like without a good hard Brit. ...

Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory

15
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...

Heavily armed men in masks carrying clubs burn homes in Northern France

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A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish police force her to remove veil

0
Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days...
Putin

David Cameron becomes Hero of the Russian Federation

0
The Kremlin announced today that David Cameron is to be recognised as a Hero of the Russian Federation, the highest honour that can be...

Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy wins European Thundercunt of the year award

29
The Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, was thrilled to learn last night that he has won the coveted European Thundercunt of the Year Award...
Michael Gove

Gove calls for post-Brexit legalisation of cannibalism

0
Former Tory minister and leading Brexit campaigner Michael Gove has called on the government to slash EU regulations on cannibalism which he claims have...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

0
Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

0
The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early...

Hammond to Create National Hoard

0
In advance of Brexit negotiations Phillip Hammond is to bury all of the country's wealth in a hole in the ground. The hole, believed to...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

11
"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

1
Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

0
The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision...

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