Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

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After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

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The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a...

PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

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In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount...

Quackpot fundamentalist and friend of dictators finally canonised by paedophiles

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Mother Theresa of Calcutta became Saint Theresa yesterday in a small ceremony in the Vatican. Saint Theresa, who passed through Rochdale on her way...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...

Farage takes on Eurovision

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In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
Ceuta

Ceuta is nothing like Gibraltar, King Felipe of Spain tells UK without hint of...

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The Spanish King called for a deal on the status of Gibraltar yesterday. King Felipe VI clarified in no uncertain terms that: “The status of...

New EU rules send shock waves through the terraces

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New EU rules are set to send shock waves through the football terraces of the UK. According to sources close to the FA, the...

May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice

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In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article...

Campaign to move Calais Jungle migrant Camp to Southend dubbed inhumane

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Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...
Surprised Santa

Santa to be denied entry to U.K. under proposed points system

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Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...
Catalonia

Spain apologises to Catalonia saying I’m sorry you made me hit you

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THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT'S representative in Catalonia has, sort of, apologised to those injured by the Iberian Stasi during Sunday's independence referendum. Enric Millo, playing the...
Katie Hopkins

Katie Hopkins killed and eaten by starving migrants

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Mail Online columnist Katie Hopkins' plan to drown migrants attempting to cross the Mediterranean to prevent them coming to the UK has been put...

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

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Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty...

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