Bomb Squad

May tells Merkel,”This is just a taste of what I’ve got”.

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News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa...

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

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Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty...

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

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There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It...
Theresa May

Theresa May admits using ‘BREXOMATHICS’ to calculate number of overstaying foreign students

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"It's so simple, you take a real number and keep doubling it until everyone's eyes light up," explained May pointing out that it worked...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

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German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government...

Farage takes on Eurovision

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In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's...
French Military

French Head of Military resigns after Macron cuts £1bn from White Flag Budget

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General Pierre de Villiers today sensationally quit as Head of the French Military in a row over cuts to the French White Flag budget. General...

Spain Says ‘Direct Rule Impossible’ after Entire Catalan Population Hides

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Spanish Prime-Minister Marion Rajoy has tonight been unable to suspend the Catalonian Parliament after their leader along with the rest of the population went...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

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The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake...

Greta Thunberg urges politicians to think of the planet they are leaving for Keith...

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Greta Thunberg has urged politicians to consider the planet they are leaving for Keith Richards when making policies that affect the climate. Speaking just before...
Angela Merkel

Angela Merkel to meet Theresa May to tell her to piss off in person

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Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss...
Santa

The ‘Santa Clause’ prevents Article 50 from being triggered experts warn

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In a massive blow to the government, German lawyer Rudolph Shnitz has highlighted a clause in section 4 of article 38 dubbed 'The Santa...

Monkey spanking decriminalised in Italy

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A man known only as Pietro L was charged with a public disorder offence earlier this year after being caught choking his chorizo on...
Geert Wilders

World “back on track” after Dutch non-Nazi gets 20% of the vote

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World leaders have rushed to hail the Dutch general election as the turning point in the history of civilisation. With the rising tide of...

“I wasn’t wanking, I was self-isolating.” Paris Mayor candidate caught on video.

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Benjamin Griveaux dropped out of the race to become the next Mayor of Paris after video emerged appearing to show him making love to...

We tried democracy and Franco-ly it’s not for us, Spanish government tells voters

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The Prime Minister of Spain has told voters that democracy isn't for them and it refuses to recognise the result of a referendum on...

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