Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard

0
A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning. The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

0
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...

Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well

0
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

0
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

0
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka

0
Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week. RH:...

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

0
A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

0
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work

0
We to need press on with the solution,  said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

0
Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

0
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

0
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

0
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

0
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Pigeons

Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’

0
Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

0
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts