Nearly okay to kill elephants again
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans.
Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year
The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today.
When asked what his motivation for such...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial
The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist.
"It's an...
Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo
A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Who you calling dangerous? Asks Kumbuka
Today the Rochdale Herald is delighted to bring you our exclusive interview with Kumbuka the gorilla who briefly escaped from London Zoo this week.
RH:...
Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation.
The shock admission was beamed into the...
A little food for thought… A pack of wolves
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....
