Lions

Dickheads eaten by lions

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At least three dickheads have been mauled to death and eaten by some lovely lions after breaking into a wildlife reserve in South Africa. The...
Hurricane

Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama

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Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over. In a speech he said, "Watched...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

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For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

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Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go

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Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
Hunter hunting elephants

Nearly okay to kill elephants again

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As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...

If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...

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It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

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Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...
Fox

Foxes vote to bring back fox hunting after promise of ‘iconic’ fox passports

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Foxes across the UK have voted in favour of repealing the 2004 fox hunting ban, following a Government promise to issue them with 'iconic'...
Blue Planet

Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...

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The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

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While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

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Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

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Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year

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The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement  in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today. When asked what his motivation for such...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

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Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

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Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...

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