Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

0
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

0
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...

Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.

0
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Pay attention to my sexual preferences not my instincts as a predator, said Kevin...

1
In an emotional statement to the world's press meant to deflect allegations he has a penchant for baby antelope, Kevin the Lion has come...

Smallbridge Flats Man Convinced Pigeon Likes to Watch him Hoover Naked

0
While spending a good portion of his weekly income on the Euromillions, Mr. Garry Lee Shaw complained about the fifth or even sixth time...
Wasps

Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp

0
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...

Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton

0
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....
Hunter hunting elephants

Nearly okay to kill elephants again

0
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

0
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

0
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
David Cameron Shed

‘It was a mistake not a disaster’ – Cameron opens up about PigGate

0
Former prime minister David Cameron says placing his genitals in the mouth of a severed pigs head has 'turned out less badly than I...

Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo

0
A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week...

Egyptian Zoo claim donkey identifies as zebra.

0
Representatives from a zoo in Cairo have come forward to say that claims that they dressed a donkey up as a zebra are unfounded...
Hippies Hippy

Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians

0
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

0
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts