Dog who wanted to go outside immediately wants to come back in
A dog who has spent the last hour and a half peering longingly through the patio doors at the garden is now peering longingly...
Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year
The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today.
When asked what his motivation for such...
Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years.
Mr...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Lost Amazon Tribe found really fit and well
Startling news reached us today that a lost tribe of warehouse workers has been found "really fit" and well in an Amazon 'fulfilment centre'...
Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’
Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...
Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday.
Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...
Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey.
"Once I found a tin...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
Tickle my tummy, says genocidal bastard
A genocidal bastard from Lancashire has demanded that he has his tummy tickled this morning.
The mass murderer called Mr Wiggles made the request this...
Trump ecstatic hurricane Harvey is bigger than every hurricane under Obama
Donald Trump says he's especially proud that Hurricane Harvey is bigger than any Hurricane President Obama presided over.
In a speech he said, "Watched...
New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant
On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen.
'April' the...
Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation.
The shock admission was beamed into the...
South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest
The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...

















































