Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson

0
A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...

Alien Overlords to Admit Existence is a computer simulation.

0
It is to be announced that reality as we understand it is nothing more than a computer simulation. The shock admission was beamed into the...

Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male

0
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male. In a display that witnesses have...

Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy

0
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy. The whale was found beside...

Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus

0
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Lemming suicide myth rebunked

0
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...

Priti Patel congratulates Boris Johnson on arrival of 3001005789th baby boy

0
Priti Patel, Minister for whatever the heck it is she does has been one of the first Government Ministers to congratulate Boris Johnson and...
Turkberry

Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’

0
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush. The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...

Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche

0
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday. Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

0
A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...
Brown bear in woods

Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods

0
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement. "I've been thinking about...
Flat earth map

Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat

0
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...

Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America

0
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years. Mr...

House spiders launch campaign to reduce number of ‘sleeping mouth’ fatalities

21
A group of house spiders has launched a campaign aimed at reducing the number of arachnids being swallowed by sleeping humans. 

Deer left shaken by run in with Prince 

0
A Balmoral based deer has spoken out after being run down by the heir to the British throne. Dougal Hornhead spoke to the Herald after...

Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton

0
Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts