Nearly okay to kill elephants again
As we take in the wonderful news of the large increase in the number of elephants across the south of Africa, Zimbabwe has called...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest
The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police...
New York Giraffe constipated not pregnant
On the 11th of February, the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York began a live feed from the inside of a Giraffe pen.
'April' the...
A little food for thought… A pack of wolves
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson
A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...
Rochdale pigeons attempt to teach Rochdale ‘couple art of love’
Two Rochdale pigeons have tonight, for the fourth night in a row, spent 45 minutes teaching Rochdale couple Stephen and Mary King the art of...
Packham challenges Attenborough in bid to become BBC Natural History Unit alpha male
Chris Packham has challenged Sir David Attenborough in a bid to become the BBC Natural History Unit's alpha male.
In a display that witnesses have...
Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...
In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
Hippy English woman ‘is a pain in the arse’ say Indians
A woman from Rochdale who has been to India on a spiritual journey to find herself is just a monumental pain in the arse,...
Dead whale found in Thames was Russian spy
The Government have announced that a whale that has been found dead beside the River Thames was a Russian spy.
The whale was found beside...
Sheffield Council declare majority of citizens think world is flat
Sheffield Council has been forced to declare their belief in a flat earth after applying the same statistical analysis to a recent on-line poll...
Britons thrilled by early encounter with year’s first Wasp
Millions of Britons were given an early taste of the joys of springtime over the weekend, after the unseasonable February warmth prompted the first...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
