Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...
In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
Pigeon chess champion embarrassed at being included in metaphor with Boris Johnson
A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in...
A little food for thought… A pack of wolves
The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left...
Cats growing increasingly desperate to find cure for Coronavirus
Pet cats have announced that they're ramping up their efforts to find a cure for Coronavirus as many find they're now forced to spend...
Idiot Dies in Karmic Avalanche
An idiot died in an avalanche of Karma in the town of Colle delle Oche near Turin, Italy yesterday.
Veterinarian Luciano Ponzetto, who split his...
Tsunami threat issued for East coast of England after Yorkshireman does massive poo
A Tsunami threat has been issued for the East coast of England after a man who hasn't had a shit for a week...
Bear Cancels Plan To Shit In Woods
Bryan Pickle, an unemployed brown bear, interrupted a meeting at The National History Museum this morning to make a surprise announcement.
"I've been thinking about...
Attenborough Discovers New Great Ape Species In America
Noted elderly naturist David Attenborough was cock-a-hoop yesterday when he announced the discovery of the first new species of great ape for many years.
Mr...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Accusations of Racism Hit John Lewis Commercial
The new John Lewis advert, featuring a black British family giving their daughter a trampoline for Christmas has been denounced as racist.
"It's an...
Rochdale scientists breed Christmas ‘turkberry’
Top food scientists say they are 'very close' to successfully breeding a turkey with a cranberry bush.
The new 'turkberry' hybrid bush-bird could be on...
Magic mushroom season not as bad as rumoured
Rumours that this year's magic mushroom season has been a let down are made of regret and the memory of socks from Bolivia, says...
If the Irish don’t want Apple’s £11BN tell them we’ll have it – say...
It transpires that North Sea Oil Revenues now contribute £60Million to the Scottish revenue pot, down from almost £13Billion a couple of years ago...
Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
Corbyn pledges 60,000 Mosques to built every year
The beleaguered 'leader' of the 'opposition' made the bizzare statement in an interview with Andrew Neil earlier today.
When asked what his motivation for such...
Christians, Muslims, Satanists Opposed To Pokemon Go
Following the UK release of Pokemon Go ten days ago, several prominent spokespersons for leading UK religious organisations have spoken out, condemning the game...
