Put a bloody jumper on if you’re cold we’re not made of money, Philip...

16
“Put a jumper on and stop fiddling with the blasted thermostat, I just got it right. If you’re that blinking cold go and walk some of those wretched dogs you insist on keeping. And I’m not talking about the Fergie's sprogs!”

Jeremy Corbyn further insults the Queen with massive wedgie

5
By means of adding injury to insult, nefarious super villain and national traitor Jeremy Corbyn went one step lower in his ceaseless quest to...

Windsor council workers sledging to work on frozen homeless people

0
Councillors in Windsor have been seen sledging using the frozen bodies of homeless people. One told us, "The council wanted them all removed for the...
Queen and Philip

Prince Philip disappointed not to get his own sparkly hat

0
The Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement is entirely down to one thing, it would seem. Speculation has been rife ever since the announcement, but now...
Kate Middleton

Royal Baby ‘pretty unlikely to be ginger’ say Palace sources

48
Buckingham Palace sources have told The Rochdale Herald that it is "pretty bloody unlikely" that the next Royal baby will be a ginger. They...

Joy as Palace confirms  Pippa Middleton’s bottom WILL feature at next year’s Royal wedding

0
Buckingham Palace has today confirmed that Pippa Middleton's buttocks will be brought out of storage for the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle...

Awkward moment for Prince Andrew at nativity as virgin told she will have a...

0
There were awkward scenes for Prince Andrew today at a nativity in Sandringham when a virgin was told she will  have a baby. The Prince...
Kate Middleton

Bloke In A Pub Claims Responsibility For Royal Pregnancy

0
A bloke in a pub has claimed that the Duchess of Cambridge’s unborn child is his, reports have confirmed. Unemployed Willie Eckerslike, 42, from Rochdale,...
Kate and William

New royal baby to be called DIANA and raised as a GIRL

0
Buckingham Palace has sought to quash rumours that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are set to call their new baby boy 'Diana' and...

Prince Andrew self isolating in Windsor with Olivia-16

0
Following the news that Prince Charles has contracted Covid-19, The Rochdale Herald has learned that Prince Andrew is self isolating at his home in...

Prince Charles urges Queen to visit people infected with Coronavirus

0
Prince Charles is believed to be privately urging the Queen to visit 

Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN

310
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.

Queen to greet Donald Trump with narwhal tusk

0
Buckingham Palace has refused to confirm rumors that the Queen will greet Donald Trump with a narwhal tusk during his visit to the UK...

Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine

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The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.  A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
Queen and Philip

Queen to redo speech after forgetting to say ‘strong and stable’

4
In an unprecedented move Theresa May is to inform Queen Elizabeth that she will need to redo today's Queen's Speech in Parliament because she...

Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...

0
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling. Express reader, Ian...

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