Ben Fogle quits Animal Park to try his hand at ventriloquism
Popular broadcaster and adventurist Ben Fogle has been declared an endangered species on Twitter after sustaining numerous headshots from people ridiculing his idea for...
Marrying melanin maddens media more than molesting minors
As news broke that Harry and Meghan have decided to quit their jobs to spend less time with their family, the country braced itself...
Vegetable that looks like Prince Charles discovered on Rochdale allotment
A Rochdale man has spoken to us about vegetable he has found that looks remarkably like Prince Charles.
Bill Board told us, "It was last...
Queen undergoes Duke of Edinburgh replacement operation
The Queen has undergone a successful operation to have the Duke of Edinburgh replaced.
Doctors at King Charle's hospital in London said the operation had...
James Hewitt ‘THRILLED’ at Prince Harry’s engagement to Megan Markle
James Hewitt has said he's 'thrilled' at the announcement of the engagement of Prince Harry to 'some sort from America'.
"Many people don't know this,...
United Kingdom gobsmacked as child turns four
It was announced yesterday, with the publication of an official photograph, that a child is turning four today.
We spoke to anthropologist, Dr Kay Smallbones...
Unemployed mother on benefits knocked up AGAIN
It's all over social media that an unemployed mother on state benefits, who already has two kids, is knocked up yet again.
Queen shows solidarity with NHS workers by only accepting 1% pay rise
Her Maj Queen Elizabeth II today graciously accepted a £6m pay increase in order to show solidarity with nurses and teachers.
"I heard that public...
Queen acts out stamp during charades for 60th year running
The Queen acted out a stamp for the 60th year running during the traditional game of Charades at Sandringham yesterday.
An insider told us, "She...
Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle should settle rift with bikini jelly wrestling demand Daily...
Daily Express readers have today demanded that Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton settle their differences with a bout of bikini jelly wrestling.
Express reader, Ian...
Prince Harry arrested in Windsor for aggressive begging to pay for wedding
Windsor-- Following complaints of aggressive begging on the streets of Windsor today Prince Harry was among the vagrants swept up in a Thames Police...
Queen denies ever having met Prince Andrew
Buckingham Palace has released a statement from the Queen denying that she has ever met Prince Andrew.
In the statement the Queen said, "I've never...
Stephen Fry forced to deny writing tomorrow’s Queen Speech
Rumours are circulating within Westminster village regarding tomorrow's Queen's Speech. In order for it to be the unmistakable work of comedy everyone expects, Downing Street...
Prince Philip in grim reaper racist remark gaffe
Hospital staff were apparently left flabbergasted at the Duke of Edinburgh's casually racist remarks during a recent impromptu visit by Death, the harvester of...
Daily Express readers desperately hoping new Royal baby is a ginger
Daily Express readers up and down the country have welcomed the news of Duchess of Sussex's pregnancy by crossing all of their fingers and...
Queen buys Prince Andrew Whirlpool washing machine
The Queen has bought Prince Andrew a Whirlpool washing machine for Christmas.
A Palace source told us, "It was going cheap because of some recall...
