Europe

News broke this morning that the Northern Ireland political party, the DUP, has demanded one billion euros from Angela Merkel in order to support her CDU party in the Bundestag. It's believed Ms Merkel is...

Santa is to be denied entry to the UK under the new points based immigration system. A Home Office spokesman told us, "The system rewards people with skills that are needed in Britain. For...

Plans to move the makeshift refugee camp in Calais to Southend were quashed today after a cross party committee called the plans inhumane. Refugees from all over world have been huddled under canvass in appalling...

Following the destruction of popular prayer centre Notre Dame Cathedral, the Pope and President Macron jointly announced today that the gothic edifice would be rebuilt without delay, after the Catholic Church and the French...

Theresa May has taken the unusual decision to demand a trial by combat rather than face the EU over the table at trade negotiations.  She reportedly told a press conference in Italy yesterday that: "I am...

The 14th century cathedral has already lost one of its spires and a large section of roof in the blaze after a fire broke out around 18:00 this evening. Hundreds of thousands of Catholics around...

A large group of heavily armed men carrying clubs and guns attacked and burned the homes of several thousand people in Northern France yesterday evening. Reports are emerging that the masked attackers abducted hundreds of...

Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, is due to meet with Theresa May later today to spit in her face and tell her to piss off in person. Theresa May is said to be very excited...

With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force" of semi professional social media trolls to help protect Gibraltar from...

News reports this morning state that the entire city of Hannover is to be evacuated following the discovery of numerous unexploded WW2 bombs. Apparently, Theresa May ordered the ordinance dropped on the German city to...

German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government this afternoon following a successful meeting where POTATUS offered to...

Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary majority to force through the ‘British Calendar Act’, giving Theresa May...

Donald Trump has told D-Day veterans that there were very fine people on both sides of the battles to control the Normandy Beaches during World War Two during a press conference in Portsmouth today.  Speaking...

In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article 50 to the European Court of Justice. "The sovereignty of the...

Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged in his favourite pastime of debating politics on social media...

Peter Capaldi AKA The Doctor has expressed an interest in becoming the French President at the next election. The current Timelord who is also famous for playing the sweary Malcolm Tucker in the hit...