16 C
Rochdale, UK
Nigel Farage with Hitler moustache

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty eight. That's the proper margin. That allows those like myself...

Home Office to open Job Centre and Benefits Office in Migrant Calais Jungle

There was outrage in the editorial bunker at The Rochdale Herald after one of the editorial team accidentally read an article in the Telegraph. "It was fucking terrible, they really are dickheads. They pretend they're...

Britain to join new ‘European Federation’ after Brexit

EXCLUSIVE: With Britain poised to trigger Article 50 and put the wheels irreversibly in motion to finally leave the European Union, a leaked home office email reveals government plans post Brexit. The email, which was forwarded...
Brexiter

Brexiter fury as Europe steals patented British Divide and Conquer negotiating strategy

Brexiters across this once mighty country were swearing into their fry ups this morning with the discovery the EU has a negotiating strategy. "It's just like them." W Kemp commented. "They've bled us dry for...

May sets UK up for long March to Brexit

Theresa May’s Conservative government have quite literally meddled with time in their pursuit of successfully completing Brexit according to their timetable. The Conservative party used their parliamentary majority to force through the ‘British Calendar Act’, giving Theresa May...
Home Office

Home Office To Issue Migrants With Wearable Documentation

EU nationals currently living in the UK will require documents confirming their right to remain in the country post-Brexit, the Home Office has announced. Speaking to the House of Commons, Amber Rudd explained that they...
Angry Man

UK to mobilise army of “social media warriors” to protect Gibraltar

With no aircraft carriers and military resources already overstretched in Afghanistan, the Ministry of Defence has announced that it is calling up the UK's "third force" of semi professional social media trolls to help protect Gibraltar from...
Dictionary entry for word "definition"

Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.

After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in detail, the term means.  Deputy Minister for Brexitty Things, Raymond Sister...

French Beekeeper stung to death after Police force her to remove Beekini

France was in shock today after a French beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in the South of France. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the...

Rumours are circulating that Boris Johnson was the “brains” behind an attempted coup in...

Our source from Eurasian think tank Ata Matters informed us that the Etonian fop masterminded the attempted takeover after his coup d'etat of the UK was scuppered by reptilian Pob-alike, Michael Gove. "Boris believes he's supposed...

EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…

Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back to pounds, shillings and pence and the imperial measurement system. It...

French now too lazy to strike

In an unusual turn of events, the French have today declared that they can't even be arsed to have a proper strike, and that apathy is all it takes to create cross channel misery.  Instead...

ACEA: No U-Turn on Right-hand Drive Cars

The European Automobile Manufacturers Association (ACEA: Association des Constructeurs Européens d'Automobiles) looks set to cease the production of right-hand drive vehicles by mid-2019. The decision comes after months of debate amongst its members, which include...
Macron

Macron roasts Le Swan

Emmanuel Macron last night served up a beautifully roasted swan at his victory dinner. The new French President was celebrating his victory with close supporters at a private event in Paris when he wowed...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was revealed Wednesday. With post Brexit Britain set to scrap EU environmental...
Farage pulling a funny face

Farage takes on Eurovision

In a shock move today, the rubber faced, racist, people's champion Nigel Farage has announced his intentions to represent Great Britain in next year's Eurovision Song Contest . Herr Farage, who has been a long...

Follow_on_AppleNews_wht_badge_RGB_US-UK

Popular Posts

Connect!