Donald Trump believes Nazi flags are adverts for fidget spinners

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The President went on to suggest North Korea would be much safer if it followed the example of America and gave its citizens toys to play with and flags to wave like the patriots in Charlottesville yesterday.

Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...

11
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower. Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...

We’re going to build a wall and America is going to pay for it...

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There was outrage across the United States this afternoon after the President of Mexico said "fuck this shit" and vowed to close the border...
Turkey

Turkey pardoned by Trump beats him at scrabble

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A Turkey that was pardoned by Donald Trump for Thanksgiving has beaten him at scrabble. Traditionally a turkey is pardoned by the serving President just...

Virginia to ban books instead of burning them

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Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.  To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...

Pathetic spoilt lying child learns lying works both ways

2
A nursery class somewhere in the US was reportedly in turmoil yesterday.  The usual relative calm was shattered by a screaming blubber-baby having a foot...
Man in tinfoil hat

Trump: tinfoil a good defence against mind control rays

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President-elect Donald J Trump has announced a groundbreaking and cutting edge technology to combat the growing menace of conspiracies facing the US. He is well...

Biff Tannen secures Republican Party presidential nomination

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The world was horrified but not terribly surprised to discover this morning that professional gambler and self-styled American oligarch Biff Tannen secured the US...

Leaked memo from US Embassy in London written in Crayon

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There has been shock amongst diplomatic circles this morning after a leaked memo written in crayon from the US Ambassador in London revealed that...

Online petition to impeach Trump gets 6 billion signatures in 24 hours

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An online petition requesting that Donald Trump be removed from office has got 6 billion signatures from around the world within 24 hours of...

Trump Invades Iraq

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President Trump has declared war on Iraq after a five minute conversation with Tony Blair. The former British PM, referred to by White House officials...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

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President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

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Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...

Melania Trump is nothing like Eva Braun, she didn’t get tits out for money...

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Sean Spicer has put his foot in mouth again today by accidentally drawing comparisons between Hitler's wife, Eva Braun, and the First Lady, Melania...
Putin Appraisal

Putin gives Trump “requires improvement” rating during annual appraisal meeting

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Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have sought to deny allegations that President Trump has been awarded a, "requires improvement" rating during his first one...

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