Daily Mail Editor to pay Melania Trump $150m with no prospect of Happy Ending
The Editor of The Daily Mail was said to be gutted at the prospect of having to pay Melania Trump millions of dollars for...
Harvey Weinstein apologises for James Corden jokes
Hollywood millionaire Harvey Weinstein has said he is "truly sorry" for cracking jokes about James Corden at a black tie charity dinner in Los...
Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week
The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson.
The denial was in response to...
Trump Campaign Seeks Divine Intervention
The Trump campaign appears to have taken an unprecedented new course today, with the release of a series of posters on social media.
The posters...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft
Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.
Trump supporter accidentally extinguishes trainers with own tears
"Wild" Bill Board, an American protesting at an advert for trainers was unable to get his shoes to burn today because the tears he...
Reality TV to blame for increase in number of f*cknuggets being elected president, say...
Reality TV is to blame for the number of imbeciles and ding-a-lings who are being elected president of the United States, video games have...
Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists
As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...
Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”
Fatal logic feedback loop kills five more Americans
America has once again been proved right as yet another mass shooting takes place in shopping mall and nobody armed inside could shoot the...
The United States to allow Guns to be purchased from Vending Machines
United States, Washington DC - A new bill has been passed in the United States, to allow firearms to be sold from Vending Machines....
Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on.
The announcement comes as his administration complained...
US Military confirm nuclear weapons controlled by simple massive orange knob
Washington - The American military revealed one of its most closely guarded secrets this week.
Trump recorded saying “Trump Supporters are fat, racist white trash”
‘Rumours that Donald Trump described his legions of supporters as "obese trailer park trash" and "uneducated fucking idiots" are yet to be confirmed.
Trump demands phone number for Ghostbusters after being visited by three spirits
President of the United States of America, Donald Trump is demanding to know how to get in touch with the Ghostbusters, it has been...
