Donald Trump to join list of ‘self-aware’ animals after recognising himself in a mirror
US President Donald Trump joined the list of animals capable of self-awareness yesterday, following reports that he may have finally recognised himself in a...
Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters
Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Trump To Build Ladder To The Moon
President Donald Trump has confirmed that America is to build the world’s first ladder to the Moon.
At a White House press conference Trump stated...
Trump discovers one weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies
The White House has confirmed that Donald Trump has found a weird trick to increasing attendance at his rallies.
During a speech given to Texas...
Kremlin accuse American spooks of lying to Trump
The Kremlin has accused America's security services of treasonous behaviour after Lavrov's love in with Trump.
A spokesman for the Kremlin released the following warning to...
Actor playing Donald Trump forgets stage directions
Due to White House budget cuts, an experienced but cheap actor was selected for the part. Bit part "character actor" Rowle Player is best...
President Trump to wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news to protect his thin...
It was announced today via Twitter that President Trump will now wear eclipse glasses when viewing the news in order to protect his thin...
Trump Introduces 2020 Presidential Campaign Mascot
President Trump took to the stage in Nuremberg, Florida, on Saturday in front of a crowd seen from space, to unveil his mascot for...
Gigantic orange adult toddler in misogyny veteran sacrifice spat
Donald 'The Toddler' Trump was said to be upset this morning after the hashtag DumbDonald began trending on Twitter.
The Toddler is running for the...
Trump calls for ‘total and complete shutdown’ of dinosaurs entering US after seeing new...
Donald Trump has called for a 'total and complete shutdown' of dinosaurs entering the United States after inadvertently watching the new trailer for Jurassic...
Seriously?
I mean, just....Fuck, Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck.
A spokesman for minorities everywhere said; "Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck...
Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Trump Spokesman Revealed As Black Knight
The Herald can exclusively reveal today that the Trump campaign aide, Michael Cohen, is the mysterious Black Knight.
The secretive warrior and guard to stuff...
Trump is said to be fuhrerious over comparisons with Adolf Hitler
Today the Trump Administration has struck back over comments alluding to Donald Trump resembling something of a 21st Century Hitler.
There has been outrage...
Dr Samuel Beckett stuck in 2016 after failing to ‘put right what once went...
In the mid 1990's Physicist Dr Samuel Beckett blazed a trail by stepping into his Quantum Leap accelerator and vanishing.
In actual fact he woke to...
Trump rally cancels book burning as supporters have no books to burn
Plans for an official book burning at a Trump rally in Bumshart California had to be scrapped yesterday after it emerged Trump supporters in...



















































