Elon Musk offers POTUS a ticket to ride his rocket

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Sources close to the White House have revealed that Elon Musk has today offered Donald Trump a ride on the next Falcon Heavy rocket. The...

Sex Workers to sue Daily Mail for comparing them to Melania Trump

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Millions of sex workers are suing right wing rag, The Daily Mail, after they referred to Melania Trump as a "former sex worker" in...
Donald Trump

Trump enlists Gary Glitter to play inauguration

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There are reports that Donald Trump is struggling to find top acts to perform or present at his inaugural event. The demagogue was able to...

Donald Trump tests positive for IQ-19

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Despite being the healthiest individual ever elected to the Presidency, reports are emerging that Donald Trump has tested positive for IQ-19. Harold Bornstein, Trump's former...
Book

Modern Day Presidential latest euphemism for complete and utter numpty, say linguists

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As Humpty Dumpty said, "When I use a word, it means whatever I want it to mean." Clearly in a world of self-reductible horseshit,...

Mike Pence unhappy ‘in transition’

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence is expected to ask Donald Trump to move him to another area after becoming unhappy as part of the incoming Republican’s transition...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
Protestors

Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy

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Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night. “Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Prisoner

Rochdale man released from US prison after Trump repeals ‘Merry Christmas’ ban

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A Rochdale couple have told the Herald that their son's release from jail in America is the best present they could have hoped for. Percy...
Trump Air Force one

Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs

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A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs. The man, now in his seventies, is said...

NASA announce Kellyanne Conway is not of this world

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NASA has announced it will hold a press conference later this week to reveal new discoveries "of significant importance, "beyond our solar system". The agency...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld a serious contender for Head of FBI

The White House has announced this morning that Blofeld is on the shortlist for the next head of the FBI following Comey's sacking yesterday.
Scaramucci

Trump Fan Can Go – Scaramucci sacked as new White House Communications Director –...

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He’s just a rich boy, didn’t give a fuck about anybody. Easy come, easy go, we guess. In disappointing news for fans of the White...
White House

Playboy bunnies to be re-homed at The Whitehouse

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After the sad passing of millionaire feminist Hugh (the Hef) Hefner the dilemma of what to do with the dozens of now ownerless and...

US celebrates after number of days so far this year overtakes number of mass...

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Americans across America are celebrating the fact that for the first time since the invention of calendars there have been more days in the...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

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The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...

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