Pumpkin

Halloween pumpkin mistaken for President Trump

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The embarrassing incident occurred after Ivanka left the pumpkin in the Oval Office. A meeting of President Trump’s closest advisors failed to realise that...

I’m nothing like Steve Bannon – says Darth Vader

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Darth Vader took to Twitter today to distance himself from "that evil bastard" Steve Bannon after Bannon compared himself to Darth Vader, Thomas Cromwell, Dick Cheney and Satan.

Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist

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Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist. Initially, US citizens were horrified...

Secret Service distance themselves from Trump’s Twitter account

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The Secret Service, the department responsible for the security of the US President, has taken steps to distance themselves from Donald Trump's Twitter account.

Hilary Clinton’s emails confirm she would have already nuked North Korea

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Further extracts reveal she had plans to construct “Wall Street on the Korean Peninsula” once the “dust and stuff has settled.”

Emergency ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ cabinets to be installed in every American classroom by 2020

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The US Department of Education has revealed plans to install emergency 'Thoughts and Prayers' cabinets in every school classroom by the year 2020. The announcement...
Man with shocked face

Trump appoints David Duke to head Black Lives Don’t Matter initiative

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Dr David Duke, former Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan, Senate hopeful and all American Nazi Screwball, has accepted President Elect Donald Trump’s offer of a key advisory role in his new government.

Twitter activists shocked that hashtags haven’t eliminated police violence

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More than two years after the fatal shooting of teenager Michael Brown, which led to widespread protests against police brutality across the U.S., many...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

White House confirms all its press staff do coke

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The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke. The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...

Trump to brave Muslim controlled no go area during UK Visit

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Despite the advice of Fox News commentator, Steven Emerson, advisors to Donald Trump have said that there is a strong possibility that the so-called...
Trump

Trump allowed to leave Whitehouse on his own for first time

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President Trump has arrived in Saudi Arabia on the first leg of his International tour. Before landing Mr Trump told the Herald, "We have much in...
White House Christmas

Children excited it’s only three US defence secretaries until Christmas

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Children all across America are giddy with excitement that it is now officially only three US defence secretaries until Christmas morning. The news comes after...

Light spectroscopy confirms Trump wears a toupee and it’s 70% alpaca

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Donald Trump's hair is partly fake, and the fake part is not even human hair, but alpaca, scientists working for NASA's Astronomical spectroscopy division...

Statue Of Liberty To Be Deported

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America's creepiest uncle, State Department Obergruppenführer Steve 'Steve-O' Bannon confirmed today that steps were being taken to deport 'dangerous subversive' the Statue of Liberty.  "Ms...

White House CCTV confirms Obama listening to Trump in Oval Office

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Secret Service agents are reviewing White House CCTV footage this morning which Donald Trump believes show Obama inside the White House. The footage, captured in...

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