Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party “off the hook”

0
Details are sketchy at present but apparently the Lockheed Martin Trident Vote after party was absolutely "off the hook". We can only imagine what kind...

Brexit Plan Turns Out To Be Just David Davis Bragging About His Massive Staff

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The world waited with baited breath for David Davis' speech in which he was expected to reveal the government's plans for exiting the EU....
David Cameron

People in Shock as Cameron steps down as MP because nobody knew he was...

0
Ex Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced he will quit his role as an MP, which has surprised almost everybody as we'd all...

Home Office confirms that new blue UK passports will be HALAL-CERTIFIED

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The Home Office has confirmed that the United Kingdom's post-Brexit passport covers will be halal-certified. The iconic Royal blue cover, which is due to be...

Dianne Abbott assures voters she’s feeling better after taking a Paracetamol

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Dianne Abbott, the MP for Stoke Newington and The Shadow Secretary for Health, has assured both parliament and her constituents that she has almost completely recovered from having a bit of a headache.
Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...

Companies forced to list massively racist employees

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British companies are to be made to publish lists of how many employees are nasty and racist, under new plans announced by home secretary...
Trump

Trump restores American faith in Bush

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Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush. Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in...

This is your eighty seventh and FINAL warning Corbyn tells Labour MPs

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After 52 of Jeremy Coalbin's unruly red rabble voted against the party whip over the Article 50 vote in parliament, the Labour leader has...

Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...

11
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...

Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics

34
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...

Government to encourage more online petitions. 

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Prime Minister Theresa May has today launched a new initiative which will encourage people concerned with issues affecting them, their communities and the country...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

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Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...

Trump Makes Farage “Hand of the King” – Hillary to “Take the Black” &...

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Following his seizure of the Irony Throne, Donald Trump has moved quickly to form his Small Hands Council.
Theresa May

Parliament email hack reveals 75% of May’s emails contain phrase “cocking fuck, what fresh...

11
Penetration of the heart of government by dodgy Russian hacker types has allowed innovative research. Statistical analysis of the government's emails has been published today...

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