Millenials believe Stalin killed more people than Blair
A recent survey of little shits proved that they know absolutely nothing about history, even though you can't prize Google from their tiny ungrateful...
A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...
The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...
Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...
Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
OJ Simpson appointed White House press secretary
Tongues are wagging in Washington today over what seems too convenient for coincidence as OJ Simpson is rumoured about to be appointed as Sean...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89...
Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
Foreign holiday season likely to be cancelled says Minister for the Bleedin Obvious
Many British people are unlikely to be able to take summer holidays abroad this year says Matt Hancock in a stunning example of the...
Theresa May to win Brexit by sitting on her chair at low tide at...
Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Jacob Rees-mogg and Owen Patterson have volunteered to carry May’s throne to the shoreline for her, before setting it in the sands and retreating so May can take her seat. She will then start screaming at the sea.
Ed Miliband Suspended by Labour in Anti-Semitic Bacon Sandwich Shocker
Former Labour Leader Ed Miliband has been suspended from the Party after being accused of anti-Semitic breakfast habits. A spokesman for the Labour Party...
Whatever gave you the impression I will deal with student debt asks man who...
A man who distinctly said that he’d “deal with” student debt during an interview with the NME is curious to know why everybody was...
Only Mandelson Eligible to Vote in Leadership Election after Mass Cull
In an attempt to make the Labour leadership election more comradely and fairer, the Labour PLP has been trawling through the social media activities...
“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...
Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...
Theresa May wins coveted Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy
Prime minister Theresa May has won the 2017 Parliamentary Cross Party Hide and Seek Trophy ahead of stiff competition.
"It was an incredible effort from...
Toddlers appointed to lead Brexit negotiations
David Davis is to take a back seat in the upcoming Brexit negotiations, having decided that a two year old called Davis Davis from...
