Prominent woman to feature on new £2 banknote nicknamed ‘Lost and found’ worth one...

1
The Bank of England announced this morning that Prime Minister Theresa May will feature on a new two pound banknote timed for release in...

Doctors find hating immigrants can increase risk of getting Nuttalls

0
Recent medical studies have found a direct link between xenophobic thoughts and the rampant outbreak of Nuttalls in the U.K. Closely resembling a haemorrhoid, a...

UK wakes up in shower and realises it was all a dream

0
Season 6 of the failing blockbuster drama Brexiting Bad has plumbed new depths of plotting. Following episodes where lead character Boris Johnson got angry and...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

0
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
Professor

Nobody could have done better than Corbyn, says Nobody

0
Nobody, who is the shadow secretary of state for Northern Ireland, claimed today that, had he been Labour leader, Labour could have won the...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

0
A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

20
Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.
David Davis

May’s EU deal not binding, says idiot responsible for implementing result of non-binding EU...

0
The idiot whose job it is to make Brexit happen says that May's latest deal is non-binding. The latest deal, cobbled together from fudge...

ISIS Second In Command Killed Again

0
The Daily Express has reported for the eighth time this month the death of so called Islamic State's second in command. "He was killed by...
Theresa May

Prime Minister Hospitalised After Strong and Stable Seizure

0
Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure. The incident occurred while...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

0
As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...

Full blown Brexit testing on monkeys halted after everything in lab just f*cking died

9
David Davis, lead researcher in the government's secretive Brexit Lab, has announced that Brexit testing on monkeys has been halted after everything in the...
Hang the Tories

Corbyn sharing platform with people he disagreed with to create peace, says man in...

0
A man who is wearing a t-shirt that reads "Hang the Tories" is insisting that Jeremy Corbyn is an example to everybody for his...
Champagne Socialist

“Are we middle class?” Ask champagne swilling corbynistas

38
A group of friends from Rochdale have come to the horrible realisation that they maybe middle class. Julian "Trotsky" Bennett told us, "We're committed to...
Paul Nuttall

Paul Nuttall Demands Return To Ice Age

0
Historians specialising in migration to the British Isles have confirmed that Paul Nuttall actually got something technically right after his Women’s Hour interview this...

Gun sales rise 300% ahead of Trump Inauguration

0
American gun sales have enjoyed a steep rise in the days leading up to the President elect's inauguration. "It's almost 200% more than when Bush...

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