Citizen’s arrest powers updated to include summary execution

0
Put your hands on the car and get ready to die. Home Secretary Amber Rudd confirmed today that the Police and Criminal Evidence Act (PACE)...
Rees Mogg

Britons to get easy sex after Brexit as the whole world lines up to...

0
Good news on the prospects with Brexit this afternoon as news broke that the entire world is lining up to provide easy sex for...
We're all going to die

We’re all going to die after Brexit, confirms Philip Hammond

0
Remain voters around the country are said to be absolutely furious to learn that every single person who voted to remain in the European...

Ukip furious at voting for ‘the wrong Hitler’ in leadership election

2
UKIP are in disarray today after 'accidentally' electing Eddie Hitler to lead them for a month before Nigel Farage decides he wants the job again. Ray...
Theresa May

May convinced she needs one more f*cking slogan to convince country to back austerity

13
The Prime Minister is said to be personally convinced another f*cking slogan will convince the entire country to back austerity. Catchphrases repeated to the point...

Satan refuses cabinet position in reshuffle

0
In a surprising turn of events Satan has declined an offer to join Theresa May's new cabinet saying it would be "damaging" to his reputation.
Donald Trump

Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country

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Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

0
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...
Nazi Uniforms

Nazi slammed for organising Conservative Party themed stag do

0
A member of the Nazi Party at the centre of a controversy over a Conservative Party-themed stag do, is to step down as Obergruppenfuhrer...

Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics

34
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...

America To Be Renamed Trumptopia

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Donald Trump has announced a new step in his plan to make America great again - he's renaming it after himself. In a press conference,...

Uncovered: The Secretive Unelected Group That Controls Our Future

1
The Rochdale Herald has uncovered a secretive, unelected group of conspirators who control the destiny of the UK.  The powerful group, known as 'The Electorate'...
Trump

Boy Scouts of America deny meeting Donald Trump

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The Boy Scouts of America have issued a statement denying meeting Donald Trump. “It never happened. It's fake news folks.” The statement begins. “Only a sick,...

Gap between rich and poor not an issue say rich bastards

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The massive gap between the poorest peoples' lot and the vomit-inducing wealth of the world's richest isn't really important, insist representatives for the world's...
Houses of Parliament

Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue

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The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...

Vazeline Intensive Care

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Labour MP Keith Vaz, who recently quit as Chair of the Home Affairs Select Committee is claimed to have claimed that there was nothing...

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