Politics

British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal, a cabinet minister has suggested. The Transport Secretary Chris Grayling made...

News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General Election in June. Theresa May was the first leader to abstain,...

In this week's PMQs Jeremy Corbyn, the corduroy communist leader of what's left of the Labour Party (see what I did there?), asked Theresa May about her unpopular plans to reintroduce the Grammar school...

President Donald Trump has apparently just signed a new executive order making it compulsory for American citizens to carry guns about them at all times, the Rochdale Herald has learned. At a press conference, he...

Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to decapitated pigs. Levels of support for Nigel Farage's new Party are...

The almost defunct and already totally irrelevant United Kingdom Independence Party, known better as UKIP, have today announced that they are to launch a range of toy doll merchandise following their recent party conference....

In a bold show of complete disregard for the sovereignty of British Parliament, his highness emperor Trump has appointed a well-known and unelected frog-faced racist called Nigel as UK ambassador to the US. Brexiteers are...

The Alt-Righteous, or Always Terribly Self-Righteous, are a loose group of people claiming uber-liberal ideologies but with somewhat different behaviours. They vehemently reject mainstream opinions that differ from their own and dismiss the "non-Righteous" as...

Speaking in Chesterton Park, near Stoke yesterday, Nigel Farage announced that he has “reluctantly” returned to front-line politics by launching the Nigel Farage Party. “I was rather enjoying retirement,” Mr Farage guffawed disarmingly, “spending more...

It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this as a move to demonstrate opposition towards the hate-filled, racist,...

Foreign Office officials have confirmed that Boris Johnson has finally accepted that the British Empire no longer contains Canada, more than a year after he was first appointed Foreign Secretary. Speaking on condition of anonymity...

Senior Tory advisors, still reeling from Thursday's disastrous election result which provided a hung parliament, are said today to be telling the prime minister Theresa May that something serious has to be done about Britain's broken electoral system.

MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in favour of triggering Article 50. "Stands to reason, dunnit?" said Kevin...

In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to implement a Royal Commission into the treatment of asylum seekers...

Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang will dig up great swathes of the countryside searching for...