Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal

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A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the...

Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid

0
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...
Tory

Tory MP resigns because government is a bit conservative

1
Conservative MP Stephen Phillips, who has represented Sleaford and North Hyekham, in Lincolnshire for 6 years has resigned. The word in Westminster is the barrister...
Ballot paper

Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

0
Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...
Corbyn Pram

Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet

0
Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in...

More Guardian Subscriptions Cancelled Over Fresh Crossword Slur

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Following yesterday's scandal that saw literally units of enraged Scotts cancelling their subscriptions, The Guardian's simple crossword this morning poured fresh fuel onto the...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

No Brexit is better than a bad Brexit says David Davis

10
After boldly caving in to the EU negotiators on day one of talks the Brexit minister, David Davis, was in a bullish mood.  “We have...
Russians

Russians Accuse Corbyn of ‘Cultural Appropriation’

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British Russians have reacted angrily to the Labour's Election Manifesto announced by Jeremy Corbyn and accused him of "offending or even humiliating an entire...
For Sale Signs

London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable

2
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
Government

Government advises British Gas Customers to follow their example and burn bridges for fuel...

1
Most U.K. bridges are built or stone and iron. This will mean a boom to hardware retailers as Britons rush to stop up on pickaxes and wheelbarrows in order to carry their winter fuel allowance home.
Inflation

Diversify portfolio to survive inflation Tories tell poor

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As news of inflation fears hits the headlines this week with pundits telling us that inflation will hit food prices the hardest the government has issued advice for the poor on how to survive inflation.

Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’

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The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Pot to piss in

Conservatives pledge ‘free pots’ for poor to piss in

15
In the latest Tory manifesto promise benefit claimants and people earning less than minimum wage are to be sent a free chamber pot. Current Work and...
Raining Money

FIFA launch investigation into DUP backhander scandal

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The Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA), have announced their intention to pursue a full investigation into alleged corruption in British politics, following the...
Amber Rudd

BBC warns reporters against mispronouncing Leadsom as loathsome

14
 The BBC's all powerful pronunciation department Tuesday issued a red letter warning to reporters over mispronouncing the surname of Leader of the House of...

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