Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

0
Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

New Tony Blair character in Cluedo, cannot be accused

12
Exciting news for fans of the classic board game Cluedo as a new character is to be introduced! That character is no other than former...
Theresa May

May: Difference between migrants and refugees is we don’t want either

0
Theresa May has said that refugees should settle in the first safe country they come to, rather than travel through several countries, and has...

Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal

0
In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal. White,...
Theresa May

May supported by Cabinet, which was put together by same carpenter who hung Conference...

0
The PM today insisted that she is fully supported by her cabinet; a flat-pack Nordik 465 Ikea bedside cabinet in white Formica, that she...

Satirist sues CNN for stealing Trump Headline

0
The Rochdale Herald has issued a cease and desist letter to CNN after they stole a satirical headline about Donald Trump.

I am truly above the law, confirms giant-toothed, flappy-eared, demon-eyed, shithouse, fuckmonger

4
What’s your favourite type of monger? Picture him: Swooping down from the sky astride a yellowing American Eagle, the political shitehawk persuades his steed to loosen...

Tories “Limited and specific” law breaking given thumbs up by criminals

0
As the UK government is apparently comfortable breaking international law over plans to unilaterally overwrite part of the Brexit withdrawal agreement, The Rochdale Herald...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

0
Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics. In an interview he...

Britain leaves E.U. in last night’s dress and no tights

3
At 6.30 this morning, Britain hailed a taxi while attempting to wipe off the worst of last night's make-up, confident in the knowledge that...

Susan Boyle to sing Dead Kennedys ‘Too Drunk To F*ck’ at Trump Inauguration

8
In a last ditch attempt to find a "celebrity" to perform at Trump's Inauguration Scottish songstress and Britain's Got Talent sensation Susan Boyle (aka...

Farage either ‘Innumerate’ or ‘Hypocritical Dickwad’ says Brian Cox

0
Nigel Farage is either blind to numbers or being a massive hypocrite, according to Professor Brian Cox, the eminent almost-Rochdale scientist.  "Farage has spent months...

Putin Accused in Rogue One Plan Hack Report

0
Emperor Palpatine has sensationally accused Russia of interfering in the internal affairs of the Galactic Empire. He has warned that the Empire will retaliate for...

Tests prove evolution has stopped among UKIP supporters

0
Groundbreaking research at Rochdale Technical University's Institute of Genetic Engineering has confirmed that evolution has stopped working, and in some cases is being reversed,...
David Davis

David Davis tells Select Committee the dog ate his Brexit Impact Assessment

0
David Davis, the Secretary for Probably Exiting the European Union, has confirmed to the House of Lords Select Committee that he has definitely done...
Scientist

Not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories, scientists discover

46
Scientists have discovered that not all Tories are twats, but all twats are Tories. We all know that Michael Gove is a twat. Even his...

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts