Police Commissioner Confirms Police To Desist From Arresting People Doing Nothing Wrong
South Yorkshire Police Commissioner Adam Spillings went on record today as saying his force would no longer be arresting tree campaigners for doing nothing...
David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...
Emails found on MP’s pornhub viewer
A forensic investigation of Damian Green's computer has revealed that it was used for viewing emails, conducting research and processing documents, confirming that...
Sex worker and fruit picker tops post-Brexit career options
According to a press release from the Federated Institution of Associated School Careers Officers, the Brexit Plan simplifies future British employment opportunities to sex work...
Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...
Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia.
The foreign secretary said...
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Voters must provide family coat of arms as ID insists government
The government has been accused of the suppression of voters' rights after plans to introduce compulsory checks of a family coat of arms for...
Football referees warned not to go against the will of the people
Following criticism of High Court Judges 'interfering' in the Brexit process, the Football Association have decided to get rid of football referees.
"We don't need...
52% support euthanasia bill
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
You lost get over it, Jacob Rees-Mogg told
Jacob Rees-Mogg has been told to get over losing the no confidence vote in Theresa May last night.
Mr Rees-Mogg heads the European Research Group...
Massive Iceberg applies for EU membership
In a shock development following its breakaway from Antarctica, the giant iceberg has applied for membership of the EU.
A hastily formed government led by...
Get behind my shit deal or we won’t be able to do dreadful thing,...
Theresa May has urged MP's to get behind her awful Brexit plan or risk not being able to have Brexit.
With many people warning that...
Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections.
Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...
Theresa May’s Rituals
"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales.
"Do you see...
Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...
50 Shades of Grey author denies responsibility for Tory surge
The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire...
