Theresa May

May dissolves Parliament and calls snap General Election

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Theresa May has called a snap general election claiming that divisions at Westminster risked hampering the Brexit negotiations. The Prime Minister will require the support...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

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UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

UKIP pledge to bring back 70’s style pubic hair

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UKIP have pledged to restore pubic hair to levels not seen since the 1970's, in a move they hope will secure the allegiance of...

Pensioners advised to burn BBC licence fee fines to keep warm this winter

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The government, breaking a manifesto promise, has facilitated the scrapping of the free TV license for over 75s from 2020. "My pension doesn't cover the...
Secret Santa

Boris gets a turd in a box in Cabinet Secret Santa

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We heard today that during the final cabinet meeting of 2016, Secret Santa gifts were distributed between Ministers. Chancellor of the Exchequer, the right honourable...

Farage to appeal to younger voters by calling them all wankers

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Nigel Farage has unveiled his latest plans to broaden UKIP's appeal amongst young voters. Phase one will see Farage travel round the country calling...

Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine

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After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road." His...

David Brent to sing Equality Street at Trump Inauguration

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Following the shock withdrawal of Bruce Springsteen tribute band the B-Street Band from the Trump Inauguration David Brent is thrilled to announce that his band Foregone Conclusion have agreed terms to perform.

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

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Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...
Foodbank

Tories target youth vote by giving food bank users under 30 free Wham Bars

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The Conservatives hope to boost the number of young people applying for party membership by offering them a free Wham Bar every time they...
nurses

Overpaid nurses treat Berkshire woman for injuries sustained pruning magic money tree

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Medics at all major NHS hospitals in central London are on tenterhooks hoping to be the ones to treat a middle aged woman who...

McCartney soils himself in public, again

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McCartney has once again made a huge arse of himself in public, this time by taking a shit with his clothes on in the...
Drunk man

Thomas the Trident Engine runaway incident: Fat controller was drunk

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Rumours are circulating of a culture of abuse at the MOD, which spilled over in a final steaming argument between the fat controller and...

Public in shock after Politician is caught lying to promote his own agenda

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The voting public was aghast today to discover that a career politician has been lying and spinning the facts through the media in order...

Picture yourself in their shoes

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A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

Sturgeon Scotland Indyref Goes to Defcon Fandouble-Dozi

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Nicola Sturgeon has told Theresa May that she is not "bluffing" on the promise of a second independence and has gone to Defcon Fandabidoubledozi! In...

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