Jacob Rees-Mogg frustrated by number of GDPR messenger pigeons arriving at his dovecot
Conservative politician Jacob Rees-Mogg is said to have been left "apoplectic" earlier today after receiving several hundred carrier pigeon messages informing him of the...
Boris’ Barney buggering off says barber
In a hair raising exclusive, The Rochdale Herald has discovered the secret to the frankly unhinged character of the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson is...
Theresa May makes audacious bid for Jorge Mendes to replace David Davis.
With the transfer window now open, Theresa May is expected to make David Davis available for transfer whilst putting in a bid for Jorge...
Man overseeing poorly equipped chaotic withdrawal from Europe describes Dunkirk film as inspiration
One of Britain's chief Brexit negotiators has been saying how the film, Dunkirk has inspired him in his negotiations for Brexit.
Cliff Edge told the...
Time Team special feature digging for past evidence of honesty in British politics
Tony Robinson is expected to take to Twitter this evening to announce an upcoming ‘Time Team’ special feature in which he and the gang...
Move classrooms into pubs, says government
After Ministers were forced to make a choice between opening schools in September or keeping pubs open, the government has decided to move classes...
Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived...
Michael Gove is handsome and intelligent according to new YouGove poll.
A new poll by Britain's newest survey company has revealed that Michael Gove is both handsome and intelligent.
The new company, YouGove, polls members of...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit
Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.
Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.
The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract.
Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...
KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump
In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...
British automakers to make english sparkling wine for export to Japan after Brexit
Boris Johnson, acting Prime Minister, has followed up Theresa May’s success in Japan by reassuring Japanese business lobbies British automakers can produce enough english...
Dig for Victory, says Corbyn facing Brexit economic doom
Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the opposition and the second coming Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, has set about his first week back in...
Brexiters excited to leave the EU posthumously
According to a recent poll, Leave voters up and down the country are excited at the prospect of leaving the EU posthumously.
Following continuous delays...
Idiot turns on News and now can’t sleep
A man in Lancashire this evening accidentally turned on his television this evening to see Donald Trump leading Hillary Clinton in the polls in North Carolina and now definitely won't sleep.
