Fur

Foxes Just ‘Scarves With Legs’ Says Tory Think-Tank

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During the snap election called by Theresa May one controversial proposal to emerge from the Tory manifesto was the abolishment of the fox-hunting ban....

Boris meant Saudis are awesome says Defence Secretary Michael Fallon

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Boris Johnson’s words on Saudi Arabia and other Middle East powers were misreported, according to a clearly desperate Defence Secretary Sir Mr Michael of Fallon.

Terrorists rejoice at lower energy bills as Jihadis unplug TVs

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Terrorists worldwide are saving money on their energy bills as millions of Jihadis unplug their Samsung smart TVs from mains sockets. The move comes after...
Theresa May (licence)

Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.

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It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...

Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss

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Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss. Handsome Prince...

“Why does nobody believe me when I say I’m sorry?” asks woman with made...

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A woman who made up a fictitious CV in order to secure a series of well paid jobs in The City is about to...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

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Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...

Branson to be Stripped of Knighthood & Awarded “The Icepick of the People” in...

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John McDonnell has branded British capitalist lapdog Sir Richard Branson an "enemy of the People" who "undermines Democracy & the Will of the People"...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...

Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall

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Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government...

That’s it I’m done in this realm – Satan

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His most eminent dark overlord, Satan, has asked The Rochdale Herald to issue the following statement: "I had 2 bottles of Jackie Dee and wrote...
EU

EU condemns punchy politics

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After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour. Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...
Jeremy Corbyn

A politician’s ex definitely unbiased source, insist BBC 

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To prove they're balanced and fair, the BBC have asked Jeremy Corbyn's ex wife for her totally independent and unbiased view on the Labour...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

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President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...

Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate

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The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in...

Nicola Sturgeon confirms she is yet to read her job description

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Nicola Sturgeon made a surprising admission late this afternoon, when she revealed she is yet to read her job description as Scottish First Minister. "Don't...

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