The NEC of the Labour Party has won on appeal its right to lie its arse off in order to get three quid out of the working class.

The original case was brought by five people who crazily thought that if you pay for something that the other party in the arrangement shouldn’t be able to say ‘Nah only kidding, but thanks for the cash you sucker!’ and get away with it. After a judge agreed that that indeed did sound reasonable, the Labour Party then appealed and has now won.

“Obviously it’s not for the law to say that we cannot blatantly rip people off,” said an NEC spokes-spiv, “but it totally is for them to rule we can.”

The move, which the NEC say is to protect the party from people rigging the vote, effectively cancels out lots of Corbyn votes. Apparently this is different from rigging the vote because Jeremy Corbyn dresses funny and has a CND badge. 

Meanwhile Norman Bloke, a welder from Telford told us, “I paid three quid for the right to vote and then they said if I actually wanted what I paid for I needed to also pay an extra £25- the equivalent of three days food for my kid. How are they different from the Tories?”

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.