New cold war looms as Trump aspires to make American prostitutes better than Russian...
Concern that America is falling behind Russia in the pay-for-sex industry was allayed last night after President Donald J Trump announced a new ‘hooker race’ with market leaders Russia.
“Russian prostitutes have been, in my...
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House administration.
Quentin D. Fortesqueue explained,
"The purpose of the Rochdale Herald is...
Trump says IKEA table he ordered arrived ‘pre-blown up’
President Donald J Trump is convinced that ‘something bigly bad’ has gone down in Sweden, after a dining table he ordered from IKEA arrived ‘pre-exploded, all in bits’.
The billionaire had ordered the ‘top of...
Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid
Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I neva sed dat" Nuttall.
Mitty, who first appeared in a 1930s...
Theresa May – the facts
Theresa May - the facts
She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10
2. She owns a talking mirror and can send an entire kingdom...
Bottoms up for Nuttall
In an unprecedented move, UKIP leader and shampoo user of the year 2008, Paul Nuttall, has finally come clean about his much debated past.
"Now that my position is looking shaky and that Nigel is...
Paul Nuttall – Why I Won’t Talk About Fight Club
Paul Nuttall O.B.E is reluctant to talk about Fight Club, the global phenomenon he founded in 1996.
“Chuck and me, we don't talk about it." He replied when our entertainment correspondent spoke to Paul earlier this week.
The...
I meant Hindenburg Disaster not Hillsborough Says Nuttall
Paul Nuttall has sought to lay to rest the controversy over his claims to have been present at the Hillsborough disaster, initially by explaining his press officer must have misheard his tales about his...
Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic
After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy found floating in the Atlantic Ocean. He'd knocked up the...
Nuttall Lost Close Personal Friends When They Discovered He Was An Arsehole
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall lost 'close personal friends' when they discovered he was a bigoted, racist arsehole.
“People started to shun me and sometimes even turned their backs on me when I walked into a...
Paul Nuttall Converted To Islam
Paul Nuttall has retracted a claim on his Facebook page from 2009 that
he converted to Islam after sharing a kebab with Mohammed Ali.
"I never did" he retorted, when approached by reporters outside of a...
Trump Outraged To Learn of Invention of Phonograph
Taking to Twitter, So Called President Trump rounded on critics of his
administration within the media, and their underhand strategy of recording stuff.
"Edison fake American. Not an inventor. Not a patriot. Beeswax UNAMERICAN.
Filthy trick. Media...
Spicer denies Flynn worked as National Security Advisor, Trump demands Flynn’s birth certificate
The Trump administration has attempted to erase any indication that Michael Flynn, a retired U.S. General and former National Security Advisor for the administration, worked in his position or even existed.
At a press conference on February 14,...
Downing Street denies allegations of incontinence
In an unprecedented announcement, Downing Street issued a denial of any suggestions that the Prime Minister is incontinent.
"During a period of initial uncertainty, many details of the final Brexit package seemed to fall between...
Prince Nuttall Awakens Britain’s Slumbering Populace With A Kiss
Joyful celebrations were heard throughout the Kingdom after it was confirmed that Prince Nuttall of UKIP had awakened Princess Populace with a kiss.
Handsome Prince Nuttall hacked his way through a thorny defensive barrier surrounding...
Sheffield Tree-Felling Councillor Hospitalised With Irony Overdose
It has been revealed that Clr Brian 'Hodge' Podge, the Sheffield Councillor responsible for the hugely unpopular street tree felling programme, was rushed to hospital yesterday.
Sheffield Council is Labour controlled and Labour Councillor Podge...
