Politics

Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a politician. "I'm only a politician because my careers advisor told me...

Jeremy Corbyn's manifesto pledge to have Tom Watson rolled up in a carpet, beaten with broken pool cues and thrown off Southend Pier at low tide is proving very popular with Conservative, Labour ...

Diane Abbot's former Leader has claimed the MP is fed her lines through an earpiece so she doesn't have to memorise facts, figures, policy or common-sense The bombshell comes after Ms Abbot today claimed that...

A member of the radical far left group Momentum is in custody this evening after apprehension following keying of the paintwork on David Cameron's prize winning shed. The suspect, believed to be of high...

Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.

Prime Minister Theresa May was rushed to hospital this evening after suffering what is described as a "strong and stable" seizure. The incident occurred while the Prime Minister was in the middle of a speech...

The John Bull, formerly The Union, has conciously removed all traces of foreign influence. Gone are the continental café-style pavement tables. It no longer serves French wine, Italian food or German lager. There are...

The author of the '50 Shades' series of erotic novels, E.L. James, has dismissed allegations that she is responsible for the public's increasing desire to be fucked by rich white people. As polls continue to...

?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in 2049 will be spear-headed by a new slogan, one more...

Paul Nuttall gave an interview with a surprise this morning on the Today programme on BBC4. Asked if he would satisfy the curiosity of literally some voters regarding whether or not he intends to stand...

Earlier this morning Boris Johnson MP called Jeremy Corbyn a 'Mutton-headed Mugwump'. Full time buffoon and part time Foreign Secretary is known for his creative language certainly caused a stir, as hundreds of thousands of bemused people...

News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General Election in June. Theresa May was the first leader to abstain,...

"Although I'm a Labour candidate, I'll throw my support behind UKIP and volunteer to inspect teenage girls vaginas." Said local full time pornography enthusiast and part-time Member of Parliament for Rochdale, Simon Danczuk. "It's a...

Paul Nuttall, temporary leader of UKIP, faced calls to stand down this morning from the establishment after commenting on the upcoming general election. Speaking to reporters on his way to an appointment at W. Anchors,...

Liberal Democrat leader Tim Farron says he does not believe gay sex is a sin "as long as you don't push back". Mr Farron said that while political leaders should stay out of such matters...

As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit. So we at the Rochdale Herald, your humble servants, have dug deep...