As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit.

So we at the Rochdale Herald, your humble servants, have dug deep into the depths of Google to bring you our definitive guide to the parties plans for leaving the EU.

The Conservative Party:

Brexit means Brexit.

The Labour Party:

Brexit doesn’t necessarily mean Brexit but we will still have Brexit.

The Liberal Democrats:

Brexit definitely does not mean Brexit! No Brexit! Shut up!

The Green Party:

Brexit seems to mean Brexit but not Brexit Brexit necessarily. Do you like my Kaftan?

UKIP:

Brexit isn’t Brexit enough! Give us Worldxit!

SNP:

Ah couldnae gie two wee shites about Brexit but if I can get a referendum out o the bastard then bring the fecker on!

Britain First:

Muslims! Islam! We’re not racist! Anti racist is Muslamic code for anti-white British!

Plaid Cymru:

Er… Brexit… right. Wasn’t there a referendum on that? Yeah whatever that said. To be honest I’m just the cleaner. There’s nobody in the office at the moment.

When the aeons of war left the gods dead and the universe decimated, a single duck rose from the ashes and stood for justice and freedom! It wasn't me, that duck, but we look quite bit alike.