Old people

Tories relying on the elderly to forget about the Dementia Tax to win election

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After announcing their proposal for elderly social care, Theresa May and the Conservative Party went down in the polls harder than an OAP slipping on an...
TRUMP POLE DANCERS

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

9
US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of...
Crying Man

Irony pronounced dead after UKIP spokesman warns Corbyn Government would ‘take Britain back to...

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Experts have announced that irony is dead. The announcement came after a UKIP MEP said that Britain would be plunged back to the early...

Wales Seeks Independence as Gareth Bale Doubles Welsh GDP

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Carwyn Jones has changed his mind on Welsh Independence after Gareth Bale’s new contract doubled the GDP of Wales.

Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn

Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...

The Australian Federal Opposition has called for a Royal Commission into Royal Commissions

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In an extraordinary turn of events in Australia Opposition Immigration Minister Aidan Androyd has declared the "necessity for this Royal Commission." "Well, I tried to...

ISIS withdraw from Iraq after Blair’s return to politics announcement

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Tony Blair yesterday announced that he intended to fill a massive hole and that after that he'd return to British politics. In an interview he...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

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Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

Contractor used for Tory conference stage wins £2bn social housing contract.

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The contractor used for the Tory conference stage set has been awarded a £2bn social housing contract. Brian Odget and Simon Carper, who have been...

Brexwhat? Say the Channel Islands

1
While the UK slowly goes into meltdown over leaving the EU the people of the Channel Islands are left scratching their heads wondering what...

Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency

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After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency. Speaking to disappointed...
Boris Johnson

Brexit is actually really hard confirm millionaires who stand to inherit everything but brains

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The Rochdale Herald has been briefed by a group of hardcore Brexit Conservative MPs who have confirmed that Brexit is actually really hard, even...

Brexiteer speaks of shock at discovering Britain is an island

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Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have...

Breaking News: Hundreds of MP’s feared dead in Catastrophic Westminster fire

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This could be the headline if the Houses of Parliament aren't upgraded. A one off special of the show 'Homes Under The Hammer' will be...

Self-proclaimed ‘bestest dealmaker’ fails to do deal with Bruce Springsteen cover band

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Idiots across America who voted for Trump because he told them he was really good at doing deals are surprised by the news he hasn't been able to do a deal with a Bruce Springsteen tribute band.

Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon

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SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...

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