As Theresa May surprised the country by announcing a snap election supposed Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn was nowhere to be found.
Only hours later the Obi-wan Kenobi lookalike was found facing the wall in a darkened room in Portcullis House.
“If I ignore it, it will get better,” Corbyn was heard to say when senior party officials asked how he planned to react to the election announcement. He followed with “please turn the lights off again on your way out.”
A senior Labour advisor confirmed that it is a common reaction from Corbyn, notably one he repeatedly employed to try and beat off any accusations of anti-Semitism in the party, as well as every time someone from his front bench resigns.
“This is something he learnt in school,” the official confirmed to The Rochdale Herald. “He was bullied remorselessly at school, because he’s always dressed like a part-time geography teacher. He was told to stand in the corner and ignore the bullies until they got bored and left him alone.”
He continued: “Of course he didn’t realise they pinned a ‘Kick Me’ sign to his back before they left.”