Team GB to announce Stable Door Shutting as new olympic sport
Team GB are set to announce that "Stable Door Shutting" will become an Olympic sport, The Rochdale Herald has learned.
Following the UK government's announcement...
BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’
The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered...
Medical advances meant most students will survive to pay back large debts PM reassures...
The woman pretending to be British Prime Minister is expected to increase her appeal to the younger demographics today. She will do it by...
Corbyn supporters call for reselection of Copeland constituency
After Labour's marginal win in Stoke and devastating Loss in Copeland by elections, Left wing Labour supporters are calling for reselection of the constituency.
Speaking to disappointed...
What time is it Mr Woolfe?
Steven Woolfe, a total barrister who serves as a legal adviser to hedge fund managers and bankers narrowly missed his chance to become replacement...
Rooney Returns to Everton because ‘I missed my Nan’
Overweight, red faced, former England captain Wayne Rooney is to leave Manchester United to return to his first club Everton as part of a...
Scientists confirm this is the weird parallel universe
After 2 years of unprecedented levels of worldwide idiocy, scientists have discovered that the parallel universe where weird shit happens is this one.
Popular...
Labour to legalise Liam Fox hunting confirms Jeremy Corbyn
Labour has confirmed a new manifesto pledge today following the announcement by Theresa May to allow a free vote on reversing the 2004 fox...
Syrian Parents outraged by cost of Trips to Disneyland
Syrian parents took to social media yesterday in support of Jon Platt, the British father who the Supreme Court deemed to have broken the...
Bernie’s Brave Brazillian Blag Backfires
Bernie Ecclestone's brave gamble with Brazilian kidnappers backfired spectacularly last night when his Mother-in-Law was released fit and well from her 9 day captivity.
Formula...
Knackered dam describes Boris Johnson as looking ‘dodgy and unstable’
A knackered dam in Derbyshire has described the UK prime minister as looking "dodgy but unstable" and a "substantial risk".
The dam in Whaley Bridge...
Trump in Mexican standoff
Donald Trump today paid a flying visit to Mexico for talks with President Pena Nieto.
Amongst his entourage was his new Foreign Policy adviser Jeremy...
DON’T PANIC! The weather is still shit.
After weeks of hail, freezing temperatures, snow drifts, closed motorways and cancelled trains, the prospect of a mild few days at the beginning...
Labour, the Social DEMOCRATIC Party, takes more steps to prevent undesirables from voting
The National Executive Committee of the Labour Party has announced today that only those to the right of Tony Blair will be permitted to...
Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english
Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he...
