Bears cleared of ‘shitting in the woods’ says watchdog
The independent Bear Complaints Commission has found that there is no evidence that bears are guilty of shitting in the woods.
The misconduct watchdog,...
John Lewis advert “Darkly Sinister”
John Lewis, purveyors of things that ultimately no one needs or wants, has made everything better with a darkly sinister tale about a black...
‘It’s pronounced KWINAH, you pretentious f*ckwits’ confirms Quinoa
Middle class consumers were left reeling today after one of the much beloved 'super foods' they incessantly extol the virtues of confirmed that everyone...
Rochdale woman not ready to tell friends she’s “OK thanks, bbz”
A Rochdale woman today refused to confirm whether she was alright or not, following a passive aggressive cry for attention on Facebook.
The woman, 32...
Fake news reporting undermining professionals
Following the news that the owner of everyone's favourite dog and Facebook creator, Mark Zuckerberg has called to investigate fake news sites and exercise...
“I don’t believe in that fat old man in the dodgy suit” says Santa...
Father Christmas has come out in a blistering denunciation of Donald Trump today, stating categorically that he doesn't believe in him.
In an interview with...
Statistics confirm three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics
UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s use of...
OED announces Word Of The Year
The Oxford English Dictionary announced the winner of their prestigious Word Of The Year competition at a champagne gala ceremony in London's upmarket Neasden...
Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...
Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before
After speculation in recent months that the next...
Nigel Farage’s reveals apocalyptic Brexit plan involves moving to Germany
Nigel Farage MP (just kidding) has revealed a Brexit Armageddon plan that involves him relocating to Germany. It's understood that should Britain exit the...
Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet
Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.
It comes after a series...
Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law
In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say.
Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Pope to make Roger Moore a saint…
In a surprise move, the Pope has announced plans to beatify Roger Moore, the popular actor who has very sadly passed away today.
The Pope was...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and...
The Rochdale Herald’s top 10 tips for hating Meghan Markle
The Daily Mail and The Daily Express have today announced that Britons will be expected to devote as much as 14 hours a day...
The Smiths to reform for Cameron benefit concert
Legendary 80s Manchester miserablists The Smiths are to reform for a one-off benefit concert for former UK prime minister David Cameron, a spokesperson for...
