Couple spend entire evening on Netflix before deciding what film to watch at 1am

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Johnny and Mary (not real names) are just your average suburban dwelling couple who work hard on the weekdays and like to relax in...
Brexiter

Means Testing Means Means Testing Means say Meanies

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Winter heating supplements for elderly people on low incomes are to become means tested, if the so-called Mean Party's manifesto promise is carried out.  In a...

Westminster fury as MPs told six week wait to process expenses claims

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There were raucous scenes at Westminster yesterday as several MPs were advised that a new system for processing expenses meant a six week wait...

Muslims damage white man’s van outside mosque, screams Daily Mail

20
Allegedly Paul Dacre rang round every Daily Mail journalist to ensure The Daily Mail created the appropriate coverage of the terrorist incident in Finsbury. Simply...

Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended

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Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday. DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
The Canary Website

Shock as Canary dies from its own gas

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling...

Remain campaigners thwarted by import shortage of “I Told You So”s

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Anti-Brexit campaigners are suffering from a shortage of "I Told You So"s, as "Project Fear" rapidly swings into "Operation I Told You So", as...

Government immigration policy document wedged between windows described as strong and stable

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The media was all over reports this morning that a strong and stable government policy document on immigration has become wedged between two windows...
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

Singing Covid19 to the tune of Come On Eileen makes Coronavirus less intimidating says...

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In an effort to stem growing panic, the WHO has released new advice for those concerned about Coronavirus.  Virologist Dr Kevin McRowland released the following...

Pedigree Siberian hamster spotted near Brighton

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Christmas came early for a rare pedigree Siberian hamster called Dorothy who's been found safe and well in Upper Dicker, East Sussex, this week....

Crossfitter reprimanded after failing to disclose he does Crossfit to stranger

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Heavily trapped shoulders shrugged a sigh of relief today as justice was served to a rogue Crossfitter who failed to tell every single person...

Danczuk not immolated in Bonfire accident

Rochdale Herald readers will be disappointed to hear that the rumours that pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk MP immolated himself lighting a bonfire in July...
Teenagers

A-Level students share their entertaining delusions about making the world a better place

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As we do every year, every damn year, we headed down to Rochdale Sixth Form College. Next to Hopwood Hall College, in what our...

Trump rushed to John Hopkins with severe burns

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Donald Trump is said to be in a stable but critical condition this morning after being rushed to hospital suffering from self inflicted third...

Only three UKIP leaders till Xmas

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The election of the eleventh UKIP leader in the last calendar year has whipped the country into a frenzy of anticipation as it means...

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