Cricketers injured as dyslexic Anarchists riot at T20
Two Yorkshire cricketers and a number of spectators were injured last night as nearly 200 dyslexic anarchists rioted at the T20.
Similar riots took place...
Dirty Politics
Britain's next Prime Minister is guaranteed to be female but what most people don't know yet is that only one of the contenders will...
Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans
A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed.
The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...
Police called after black man beats the snot out of white guy live on...
Police were called to an address in Las Vegas earlier this morning after reports of a white man beaten senseless in an organised fight....
Losers celebrate election victory
The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory.
“Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...
What to do when your dog dies in your hot car
Summer is here and forecasters are predicting a heatwave in the coming weeks. With temperatures expected to hit 30oC the country will be awash...
Trump and Kim Jong Un to meet on Love Island
A rearranged summit between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un will take place on Love Island.
The news comes amid speculation that a high ranking...
Gove cast as Tick-Tock in Rupert Murdoch’s adaption of ‘Peter Pan’
An all star cast is to appear in seasoned stage director Rupert Murdoch's new adaptation of the J. M. Barrie classic 'Peter Pan'.
Michael Gove...
Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...
FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...
Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey
Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...
Panic across UK as white substance continues to fall from sky
A state of emergency has been declared in a number of regions after a strange white substance fell from the sky recently.
As councils...
Brexit means Brexit means Brexit means Brexit confirms EU Brexit negotiator
"It's taken us a week to work out just how clever you Brits are," said negotiator Hans Upp. "We thought it was just a...
Gary Lineker to present MOTD in bejewelled jockstrap if BBC scrap gender pay gap
Following the release of salaries of high profile staff at the BBC one of the highest paid stars has vowed to make a stand.
Former...
Urinating Salford goalie earns whole side a place in England’s World Cup squad
Almost the entire Salford lineup have been selected as part of England’s squad for next year’s World Cup, it has emerged. All the English...
Hopkins’ lobotomy was cosmetic surgery, doctors reveal
Rochdale Community University Hospital was proud to announce the complete success of their most prestigious piece of cosmetic neurosurgery today.
Originally described as a procedure to address...
