Other News

All-rounder and England vice-captain Ben Stokes may have put his part in England's ashes tour in jeopardy following his arrest in the early hours of Wednesday morning having been involved in a street brawl...

The government has announced plans to re-brand the National Health Service as the Notional Health Service. Jeremy Hunt MP, Secretary of State for Health, is expected to announce the move shortly. "A Notional Health Service...

The Burt Bacharach song, "Always something there to remind me" was written about Herpes. Or that's according to a new documentary to be screened on digital music channel, Scotch Egg 1 over Christmas. During the...

US President Donald Trump today moved to defuse the smouldering row over the 'alternative facts' presented by his media counsellor Kellyanne Conway, by appointing fictional Alice-Through-the-Looking-Glass character Humpty Dumpty to the newly created post of Secretary of...

Our foreign correspondent Miffy Bigboots reports from South London. A man at a loose end over the weekend changed his opinion on virtually everything after watching 13 hrs of YouTube videos. Village idiot John Hardwick, unemployed...

A new poll of over 2 million sofa enthusiasts has shown that British audiences find comedy funnier if delivered through a voice synthesizer. The vote demonstrated a narrow preference over camp autistic comedy, with both...

Experts have announced that mulled wine is horrible and everyone is celebrating as they no longer have to pretend to like it. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We performed a double blind...

Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted Leave may or may not have had about Brexit. "Obviously the...

Less than a week has gone by since a Daily Mail editor allegedly tried to defend his decision to relegate the Olympic Gold Medallist, who happens to have alopecia, to the back cover of...

There were scenes of creaky jubilation on Rochdale's decaying high street as crowds celebrated the return of retail giant Blockbuster. Rochdale's elderly population had turned out en masse at the voting booths to vote against...

Following the release of a teaser for the upcoming Star Wars VIII documentary film, the BBC has been accused of heavy bias towards the rebel scum.  Recent Question Time programmes have featured panels heavy with...

In a bid to improve its reputation as one of the world's most lethal pathogens, the Ebola virus has today sought to shift the blame for its deadly effects onto people. The virus, which was...

X Factor fans will be delighted to see the return of the unfathomably popular "talent" show this evening. To celebrate the new series we at The Rochdale Herald have designed this exclusive interactive game for...

Michael Gove will juggle his new appointment as environment minister with a starring role in the long awaited sequel to 60s cult classic movie, "Midnight Cowboy", it was revealed today. The sequel, which will pick...

26 to 30 year old commuters were said to be jubilant today after Philip Hammond announced that from April 2018 it will be 30% to not get to work with Southern Rail. Philip Hammond told...

Homeopathic politician and all-round quack-licker Jeremy The Hunt has stated that patients will suffer if planned strikes by junior doctors go ahead. "Obviously we don't have a problem with patients suffering from underfunding and our...