Man on cocaine has best idea ever

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Barry Inferness, a 34 year old brick layer from Scotland made the discovery at a house party in Smallbridge last week; "A just thought, yer...
Donald Trump Jnr

Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr

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Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

0
As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...

Boris Johnson books flight home from New York with Thomas Cook

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Downing Street have issued a statement this morning explaining that Boris Johnson won't be able to attend Prime Minister's Questions today because he's stuck...

How the fuck do you follow THAT, Dave Grohl screams at Glastonbury organiser after...

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Dave Grohl is alleged to have been quaking having to follow on from Jeremy Corbyn even exclaiming "How the f**k do we follow that." Grohl...
Finger painting

Greater Manchester Road Planning Department forced to resit Key Stage One after failing finger...

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Following recent criticism of the Greater Manchester Road Network, Manchester City Council conducted an audit of the qualifications of the staff employed in the...

Cat who shit in litter tray lined with Daily Mail appointed editor

A cat who took a poo in a litter tray lined with a copy of the Daily Mail has been named as new editor...
Tour de France

Asthma Society public awareness campaign kicks off with three-week cycling Tour of France

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Saturday sees the start of The Asthma Society's global awareness campaign. 176 chronic asthma sufferers will cycle 2,082 miles of the roughest French terrain...

Turkey escapes Christmas by identifying as a golden eagle.

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A turkey on a Norfolk farm has been spared slaughter after claiming to identify as a majestic bird of prey. "Once I found a tin...

Jabba The Hutt denies allegations he’s ever been a movie producer

The interstellar crime boss and CEO of Tatooine’s largest cartel has gone on the record to deny allegations that he has ever received a...

Local Man PROMISES he’s only drinking Strongbow Dark Fruit ‘because it’s sunny’

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A local man has insisted that he doesn't normally drink Strongbow Dark Fruit, but when it's sunny outside 'everybody does it'. Usually opting for an...

Unmasked – The Real Jack the Ripper

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The question of the identity of the serial killer known as ‘The Whitechapel Murderer’, ‘Leather Apron’ or, most famously Jack the Ripper has been...
Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

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Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...

KKK David Duke polling better with black voters than Donald Trump

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In news that feels like it should be satire but is in fact oddly true, Dr David Duke, the Grand Wizard of The Ku...

Satire Is Officially Obsolete, Satirists Announce

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Satirists have officially announced that satire is no more, it has been confirmed. A spokesman on behalf of satirists, announced, "As of January 31st 2017,...

Curse of the Railway Children Strikes Again as Deddie Davies Dies

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The Curse of "The Railway Children" has struck again. The film made in 1970 told the tale of a group of children and a...

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