Other News

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have described a huge steam explosion in Westminster that authorities have...

Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before she was supposed to at 11:00am, pissing everyone right off. Surrounded...

Daily Express readers were quite literally fuming yesterday after tall gammon icon and keen casual racist Jeremy Clarkson referred to Brexit voters as 'coffin dodging idiots'. The newspaper Facebook comments page was awash with furious...

Following Prime Minister Boris Johnson's announcement that the UK is now in a state of national emergency and that citizens are only permitted to leave their homes to exercise once a day, Scottish pop...

Lord Rothermere is expected to file for bankruptcy on Monday after the last of his Daily Mail readers died of apoplexy following the 10,000m at the World Athletics Championships last night. Ambulances services, already stretched...

The Government has announced that horse racing can begin again from today.  A spokesman said, "From today people will be able to gather in groups of 6 in their garden and watch the horse racing....

Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since the early 1980's. "It's an open and shut case." An unnamed...

The three in front are old & sick, they walk in front to set the pace of the running group lest they get left behind. There were five in the front group but sadly...

A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended. The estate of roughly 200 houses was destroyed totally as the birds had a...

Weasels are up in arms at being compared to Michael Gove after reading an article in The Telegraph today that speculated that he may have "weaselled" his way into Theresa May's cabinet.

Speaking privately to The Rochdale Herald’s Donna Bellievitti, Satanic cultist and alleged writer Lynda la Plante discussed his expulsion from the group. "Look it's simple innit, evwywon nose dat U use Susie Salt to draw...

In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France amidst fears for their safety after the triggering of article...

Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave the EU. "This is a stupid idea, I know it, you...

Dominic Raab has announced that he has completed a very lucrative trade deal with Juice Plus+. A spokesman for Mr Raaab told us, "At our away day in the north everyone  was told that they...

In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is always right and that his wee wee smells of Rainbows. "Jeremy...

UKIP leader and MEP Paul Nuttall Sunday issued a stern denial that he had lied about surviving the sinking of the Titanic on April 12th 1914. Confirming that he wasn't actually born until November 1976,...