Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave the EU.

"This is a stupid idea, I know it, you know it, but sometimes idiots just need to be foisted by their own petards. You wankers wanted Brexit. You got it. I'm a millionaire by the way. I'll be fine."

Theresa May who campaigned to Remain in the EU decided to trigger the process for leaving the EU out of spite yesterday.

"The poor, disenfranchised and barely literate have spoken. Apparently. They still don't know what they were speaking about. Let them eat cake, or rather starve in the gutter. It's all the same to me."

Thatcher impersonator, Mrs May, is now considering whether or not to destroy the economy of Scotland by letting Sturgeon have a second referendum vote on Scottish independence.

"It would serve Sturgeon right. We're subsidising Scotland to the tune of £15bn a year. She can eat cake too for all I care."

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Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.