A Huddersfield housing estate has burned to the ground after a barbecue, lit by a family of wildfowl, was left unattended.
The estate of roughly 200 houses was destroyed totally as the birds had a swift game of French Cricket.
Head of the family, single mum Shirley said “We’d just left some corn on the barbie and my chicks, Keith, Danny, Laurie, Chris and Tracy were playing when we suddenly noticed the flames licking around the cheaply constructed porch of the nearest house.”
“Mind you, we’re only here because you stupid human fucksponges have set hundreds of fucking square miles of our natural habitat ablaze.”
Residents of the estate tried to control the blaze using gallons of Tesco value lager, but the fire brigade were unable to attend.
Fire chief Reuben Kincaid said “Unfortunately we were far too busy dealing with a huge blaze on Marsden Moor caused by braindead wankers.”