Other News

Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Empty Suit award. The ceremony took place in London last night and as tradition dictates Mr Corbyn wasn't there to accept the award. Instead, a spokesperson said, "This rounds...

A study carried out by some of the country's top criminologists has highlighted a surprising correlation between people with pixelated faces and a predisposition to criminal activity. Professor Robyn Banks of Rochdale Community College told...

Come and have a go if you think your armada enough After nearly two years of complaining about the hard line EU negotiator Michel Barnier was taking, British diplomats and Jeremy Hunt have finally succeeded...

Scientists have devised a new unit to measure inactivity that they're calling the Corbyn. Professor Frederick Seddon of Rochdale College told us, "We've been trying for some time to come up with a measure of...

Gary Glitter is releasing a new single in time for the Christmas number 1 battle. The song, a cover version of "In the Brownies" is Glitter's first new material for 3 decades. A spokesman said, "This...

The collection of gammon faced halfwits known as the UK Independence party has appointed the internationally famous cat abuser Mary Bale as an advisor on cat welfare issues. Mary will advise Gerard whathisface, this week's...

A talented group of female footballing MPs have no choice except to train for football games in the House of Commons Starting a new football team had seemed such a good idea.  Especially one for...

Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys for £1. A Black Friday sale on trolleys saw customers fighting...

Following her bizarre statement in which she decried the Brexit deal as leaving the U.K. with no MEPs and no representation on the EU Parliament, Mid Bedfordshire acted quicker than a dodgy sausage at...

A pigeon chess grand master from Rochdale has been telling us how he finds it a embarrassing to be included with Boris Johnson in a metaphor about Brexit. The metaphor appeared on Rochdale resident, Board's...

An emergency committee has confirmed that Britain faces an unprecedented state of 'Armagammon' today. One insider told us, "This is the highest state we could be in. Now we've declared it some things will happen to...

Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and he is in fact the opposition. Mr Corbyn appeared after definitely...

A liberal man has spoken today of his horror at being seconds away from becoming a Brexiteer. Near-victim Webastian Sliesel told our reporter Sebastian Wiesel "It was horrendous. I was in Plymouth, which has a...

Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab has been speaking of his discovery that Britain is an island today. Speaking to the media Mr Raaab said, "People have been telling me how important the ports are for trade....

Causes of knife crime confirmed to be poor choices of dead victims As knife crime continues to plague the streets of the capital, a bleeding edge study by Rochdale University has identified the top five...

X Factor viewers are hailing last nights episode of The X Factor, the greatest episode ever after the sound failed. The still inexplicably popular show, featuring people sucking the life and soul out of once beloved songs for the...