White House confirms all its press staff do coke
The White House has admitted today that all its press staff do coke.
The admission comes after the latest mouthpiece for President Trump, Mr Scaramucci,...
Doctor of Medicine degree to be replaced with Google
A brainchild policy of Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt, has been leaked from the Conservative General Election Manifesto.
The policy will outline plans to increase doctor numbers...
Shit sandwiches start to taste better after you have swallowed the first bite, David...
Following the Government's success in the Great Repeal Act, Brexit Secretary David Davies has moved to assure Parliament that the lingering taste of this...
President Trump has hopes dashed each time he hears ‘oui oui’ during French visit
Donald Trump is experiencing an emotional rollercoaster during his ongoing French visit because each time he hears a French woman say ‘oui oui’ he...
Sick Home Sec sacked?
Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked?
Jeremy Corbyn was giving...
Fears for safety of Strictly 2016 producers as AdB meets JCC
Strictly Come Dancing returned to our screens this evening in a whirlwind of glitz and glitter. Amongst the celebrities dancing for our pleasure over...
Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Theresa May Selective In Button Pressing
Prime Minister Theresa May briefly excited Brexiters yesterday when she announced she would definitely push the button.
As cheers rang out across the nation it...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Boris Johnson says ‘Get behind May’ as it’s best angle to knife her in...
FOREIGN SECRETARY Boris Johnson has urged colleagues to "get behind" the PM because "it's difficult to stab people in the back when you are...
NHS struggling as electorate shoots itself in the other foot
With the General Election all done bar the shouting, cut-stricken NHS emergency departments are struggling this morning after 43% of the nation shot itself...
NHS Whistleblower Reveals 15,000 Children Prescribed E-cigs
Thousands of smokers, who trusted NHS Smoking Cessation Therapies, were expressing their outrage this morning.
The smouldering tempers result from the revelation that up to...
Self Proclaimed Lennon Fan Actually Knows More McCartney Songs
A man who claims to prefer John Lennon to Paul McCartney actually knows more of the latter’s songs, it has emerged.
Music fan Lennie Payne...
BBC Announce Sequel to ‘Bake Off’
Following the loss of ‘The Great British Bake Off’ to a rival commercial channel, the BBC have been struggling to come up with another...
Racists awarded PIP’s under new mental health provisions
Penny Mordor MP, Secretary of State for Disabled People, Work and Health announced this morning wide ranging changes to the qualification criteria for PIP (Personal Independence...
Obviously you should agree with me, it’s 2017 say progressives, obviously
People across the nation are up in arms that other people don’t apparently realise that it’s the current year.
“It’s 2017,” said Faye Zbuk-Warrior,” I...
