New Britain First leader Wayne Cummings apparently not a made up name
Wayne Cummings has beaten off stiff competition from brothers Wayne Kerr and Yiwen Kerr to slide into interim role as Bellend-in-Chief of the UK's...
Scatter Cushion Killer walks free
Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case.
The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...
Love Island Johnny reveals ‘I have the clap’ as bosses rebrand hit show ‘Syphilis...
Love island viewers were last night in shock after it was revealed the island is to be transformed into a syphilis colony.
The revelations came...
Suspicious package at Daily Mail confirmed as charity collection box
The suspicious package at Daily Mail HQ is a charity collection box for Syrian refugees.
No-one is quite sure how it got there but it’s been confirmed...
Victory for disability campaigners as Broccoli family confirm next Bond will be paraplegic
The next James Bond will be played by a paraplegic actor, Eon Productions has announced.
Auditions for Daniel Craig’s replacement will begin in the summer...
First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”
A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.
If you’ve got something to say to me say it to my face, says...
Rochdale resident Rhona Rumbelow, 32, reacted angrily to something someone may or may not have said to someone else on Saturday at Swingers' nightclub...
GBBO causes football fracas
It has been revealed that last night's violence at the London stadium was caused when West Ham fans chanted the name of the Bake...
Religious fervour hits Rochdale bus passengers
A local member of one of the world's 4200 religions is utterly convinced that his is the correct one.
Stating confidently that “It is,...
Vladimir Putin wins Russia’s Young Gifted and Black TV show
Vladimir Putin has claimed victory in the inaugural series of new Russian TV show; Young, Gifted and Black. The final was on Saturday and...
Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation
Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation.
In fact, so ready is he...
Complete sadist buys 2 year old nephew a keyboard for Christmas
A man from Rochdale has bought his nephew the gift of music for Christmas.
Stan Still told us, "I've played in bands since I was...
Woman raising 10k for spirtual journey advised to drop acid and go to park...
Self-titled “spiritual healer,” “life coach,” and amateur YouTuber Rebecca Gronski has started a GoFundMe page to help support her travels across the world and take on...
Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas
In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas.
One...
Jo Swinson to present new series of ‘Great British Railway Journeys’
The BBC has announced that Jo Swinson will replace Michael Portillo as host of the show, in much the same way as a smug...
Miliband secures votes of hen-pecked husbands and nagging wives by doing housework for votes
Ed Miliband has vowed to do the dishes, take the rubbish out to the bin and mow lawns for every member in his North Doncaster...
