First man to read entire Maastricht Treaty declares it “A Bugger’s Muddle”
A British diplomat who began reading the Maastricht Treaty on the 6th February 1992 "just in case" finished the entire manuscript on Sunday Evening.
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won...
To be fair I was pissed, says Nigel 2.0 candidate
Steven Woolfe, the chief xenophobe-in-waiting of totally unracist UKIP party has been caught out forgetting things.
Again.
After forgetting to apply for the candidacy he's standing...
American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...
Tories secure parent vote after abolishing school holidays, weekends and Christmas
Parents up and down the country have thrown their support behind the Conservatives today after details emerged of a radical new plan to abolish school holidays and send children to school for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year.
Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn
MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...
Millennium Falcon and on and on and on
As fans eagerly anticipate the latest film in the Star Wars saga, Rogue One, plans have been revealed for yet more films to be made.
Musicians speak at upset of knowing that Tories like their work
Distraught musicians Florence Welch and Calvin Harris have spoken out at their horror of discovering that they have next to no control over what...
Lords Punish May With Dance
Prime Minister Theresa May attempted to intimidate The Lords this evening with a “dance off”.
And failed terribly.
A furious May entered the Lords...
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
Stressed nurses sick of sick people
Shedloads of stressed-out British nurses are leaving the profession because they are fed up with their working conditions and marginally better than national average...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89...
Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Foreign words banned from entering English language March 2019
Foreign words already resident in the native tongue, like Welsh ones, will be allowed to remain after England (and the others) exit the EU.
Labour leader confirms that he has a plan to break the country as well...
Jeremy Corbyn has closed this year’s Labour conference with a rousing speech to his Corbynista fans explaining his plans for an entirely fictitious and...
NHS hospitals to sell postcards to capitalise on booming health tourism
The Department of Health issued a press release this morning announcing that all NHS hospitals were to begin retailing postcards in order to capitalise...
