Britain happy to be America’s toilet after Brexit and doesn’t fear a blockage
Dr Liam Fox is in America this week offering the United Kingdom up as America’s toilet, after Brexit, and sees no risk of a blockage.
“Whenever you need to dump a load of hamburger we’ll...
This weeks Soap headlines
The Rochdale Herald: Giving you all the goss!
Emmerdale Farm
It's all twists and turns this week as someone has a brew from the cafe and doesn't pay! Pollard is up to his old tricks again....
Jeremy Corbyn Guarantees Tory Win By Not Jerking Knee
The chance of Conservative Party rule evaporated today. Jeremy Corbyn is to talk about the nuances of foreign policy and its consequences.
"It's an outrage!" stated Morris Simple, a Rochdale builder and flag waving aficionado.
"I was...
Piers Morgan distraught after accidentally flushing article down the bog
He'd just logged on
Vox populi Piers Morgan (yeah I used Latin, deal with it, what comic do you think you're reading, the Mail?) has been left distraught after accidentally flushing an article down the...
Heroic ‘fragile snowflake’ Piers Morgan attempts to man up by sitting on a sofa
Piers Morgan will today make a daring attempt to return to doing what he does best. Sitting on his arse while regurgitating tripe about immigrants, tweeting Gary Lineker, and perving on Susannah Reid.
Morgan, co-host...
POTUS to “bring back some Brexit” as a souvenir from UK visit
It has recently been announced that Donald Trump, the 45th President of the United States (POTUS) is to pay a state visit...
Some chap who won an election and then has behaved just like an angry...
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B Delta are responsible for the entryist tactics that he now...
Pet lovers left feline annoyed by introduction of Cat Licenses
Today the government announced the controversial plan to tax all cat owners by making cat licenses mandatory.
The move could bring a much needed £89 billion in revenue from single middle aged women alone, with...
ISIS applies for FIFA membership
The murderous psychopathic caliphate known as ISIS has applied to join the world football governing body, FIFA.
In a surprise move, they hope to be able to be accepted in time for the next World...
Thomas the Tank Engine Outrage at Sodexit delay
The normally chipper blue tank engine Thomas has turned to social media to express his outrage at perceived delays in the Island of Sodor exiting the EU.
“It’s an outrage said the outraged Engine we...
Trump restores American faith in Bush
Donald Trump has today been credited with restoring America's faith in Bush.
Dwayne Dwight of Alabama told the Herald "I was big into Bush in the 80's.
I couldn't get enough. Then in the 90's I...
Parents ask kids to surf net to find solution to spending too much time...
Fresh fears regarding the overuse of the internet by youngsters has emerged, with experts suggesting that it should be compared to fast food. The way for parents to treat the internet when their children...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a recession was not connected to the EU referendum results.
"I know...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's not the first time the polls have been wrong and...
Rochdale cyclist says he’s right about earth being flat
A Rochdale cyclist has spent the entire week explaining to people he works with how he knows the Earth is flat.
Carl Isles, cycles the ten miles to work and back everyday and still gets...
Trump campaign drops email subject as Clinton exonerated
Republicans and other Trump supporters are graciously admitting that perhaps they got a little carried away today after it was revealed that no evidence of criminality was found in the latest batch of Hilary...
