Pram

Engineer designs pram that fits in boot of car

Rumours are circulating around the World's scientific community that the man who has designed a pram that fits in the boot of a car...
Slipping

Team GB aim for Olympic Gold in ‘Slipping over while carrying the shopping home’

0
Team GB have seen a few medal opportunities slip through their fingers in the first few days of the Pyeongchang Winter Olympics but have...
Jumbel Sale

Online tat markets filling up with utter crap that ‘Would make a great Christmas...

0
As the nights draw in and the last of the pre-winter rituals of ‘Children Demanding Sweets by Menaces’ night, ‘Throwing Fireworks at Cats’ night...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

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Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...
Amazon Tribe

Jeremy Hunt worshipped as God of pestilence and disease by Amazonian Tribe

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An offshoot of the Kawahiva people of the Amazon, only recently discovered, are revealed to be remarkably aware of Jeremy Hunt, the health secretary. "Our...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...
The Pope

Fake News hurts everyone insists bloke who tells people Jewish wizard’s Mum was a...

0
The head of the Catholic Church has waded into the debate on fake news and he hasn't shied away from getting his hands dirty.  Pope...

Gove says public ‘sick and tired’ of so-called legal experts…

0
Following the successful legal challenge to Brexit, Michael Gove has said that the public are "sick and tired" of so-called legal experts being high...

Dacre overjoyed as Khan hints at Brexit backdown

0
There are reports of loud and frenzied whooping sounds coming from the office of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre this afternoon at the news...
Forcados

Bloke paid to piss off bull killed by pissed off bull

35
A bloke whose job it was to piss off two tonne bulls managed to piss off a two tonne bull to the extent that...

Party Leader Debate format Paul Nuttal noisily arguing with himself for an hour

0
News broke earlier today that Labour leader and bewildered Billy goat, Jeremy Corbyn, would not be participating in the upcoming televised debates ahead of the General...

Patriots actually just thick twats scientists prove

Scientists at Rochdale's Community University have proven conclusively that people identifying themselves on social media as "Patriots" are actually just thick twats.

UKIP Politician selling more than just political lies

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Welsh UKIPper, Andrew “IQ not very” Haigh doesn't just sell bullshit through his party, it transpires. The national organiser for Wales also sells utter bollocks...

Socialism just a phase says privately educated Cambridge graduate Blairite quitting Labour for V&A

6
Tristram Hunt had "returned to the fold" and told his friends and family that "his life a socialist was just a phase".
Scientist

Scientists prove warm prosecco only explanation for Love Island

A scientific study has been released that shows that Love Island can only be explained by warm prosecco. Dr Frederick Seddon of Rochdale college told...

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