Man who once burnt a Pot Noodle looking forward to another night of shouting...
A man whose cooking skills don't extend beyond pressing the 'start' button on his microwave is looking forward to another night of shouting at...
Thickos more likely to believe any old bollocks scientists reveal
Scientists at Rochdale Community university have discovered that thickos will believe pretty much anything they see on Facebook
The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...
Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.'
The far left...
Liberal hospitalised after catching racism from Daily Mail
A Rochdale man has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital today after contracting racism from a close encounter with the Daily Mail.
Colin Nigelsson, a...
Star in a really cross flight bar
Sun "journo" and fist of reason, Jeremy Clarkson was recently prevented from boarding a plane in Stuttgart, Germany and he claims that the bigoted...
People who say Nazis were socialists to lose human status
The UN has today confirmed that anyone who says Nazis were socialist are to lose human status, joining holocaust deniers in the shortlist of...
Greta Thunberg named Time’s Person of the Year for stopping Coldplay touring
Greta Thunberg has won Time magazine's Person of the Year for her work in stopping Coldplay from touring.
Thunberg said, "All of my life there...
2016 maintains the Status Quo
2016 has been everybody's annus horibilis, and it is with great regret that we announce the death of Status Quo legend Rick Parfitt.
Having survived...
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The technical gods at The Rochdale Herald have built a very special daily newsletter that goes out every day at 5pm by email.
If you...
Satirists run out of ink
Thousands of satirists across the UK and their tens of readers around the world face a crisis as the supplies of ink slowed to...
The Canary fails to overthrow Tories with 5,638th consecutive screen grab of tweet
For the 5638th consecutive time, Kerry-Anne Mendoza has failed to overthrow the nearly-elected government of the UK.
Having scraped a sardonic tweet from a celebrity...
Nobody Offended By Twitter Joke
A joke posted on Twitter yesterday has met with a complete lack of offence for the first time in history.
The joke which reads "Most...
Gove dances The Macarena at Cenotaph, scores 9’s
Michael Gove danced a scintillating version of The Macarena at the Cenotaph, scored straight 9's but The Sun photographer missed it.
Today at the cenotaph...
Crystal Maze to return as literally no ideas left
The Crystal Maze is set to return our screens, again;
"The barrel has no bottom. There's nothing left to scrape anymore. This is it." Said...
BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis
Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced
ginseng tea...
Microsoft worker takes Apple to court
Yesterday, a Microsoft employee allegedly got a dressing down from High Court judge, the Right Honorable Justice Antony Smyth-Tomkinson. The employee who we cannot...
