Teenage Boys

I love the idea of age verification to watch porn, said no teen ever

The Rochdale Herald held an exclusive poll earlier today to find out the public's reaction on whether or not they should have to got through age verification processes in order to access Adult websites. Teen...
Cat's Eyes

The Sun wins top spot in nationwide industry poll

Following recent scandals involving their journalists, inaccurate reporting and misinforming large sections of the population The Sun newspaper has had some positive feedback from an unlikely source. Cat litter manufacturers have conducted a survey and...
Kelvin MacKenzie

Kelvin MacKenzie awarded Bafta for portrayal of a journalist

Kelvin MacKenzie was today awarded a BAFTA for his long running portrayal of a Journalist, Editor and TV Executive. Mr MacKenzie began portraying the character at the tender age of 17 before spending 10 years perfecting the...

BBC confident Planet Earth 3 will contain ‘at least 80% Attenborough’

The BBC are desperately trying to complete series 3 of their hugely popular Planet Earth programme, as with all the fuckery 2016 has offered up so far, bosses are worried that Sir David Attenborough...
The Canary Website

Why isn’t the media reporting UK government mass genocide? Asks The Canary

The Canary has today revealed what the mainstream media (msm) won't. That the Tory led Government have committed mass genocide in a bid to get rid of the poor. An editorial by Che Leon Bukharin-Pinochet...
Man laughing

Serious satirists no laughing matter

150-times winner of the 12-monthly Rochdale Herald annual 'Best satirical news site, based in Rochdale', the Rochdale Herald, has recently left readers puzzled.   It is claimed that the Herald has taken to being serious...

Yahoo’s Head of IT Security asks Have you tried turning it off then on...

The Global Head of IT Security for Yahoo has moved swiftly to support customers and dispel rumours of incompetence. VP of IT Security Brian Hodgkins, a retired PE Teacher from Rochdale, has contacted every Yahoo...
Protests

The Canary calls for Tory MP to resign after failing to wash hands after...

Today The Canary has posted their 1,000th 'breaking news' article, in which 'the Tories are done' and that 'Theresa May must resign.' The far left wing online newspaper, which has been described as ‘the only...

Piers Morgan distraught after accidentally flushing article down the bog

He'd just logged on Vox populi Piers Morgan (yeah I used Latin, deal with it, what comic do you think you're reading, the Mail?) has been left distraught after accidentally flushing an article down the...

BBC Resolves Gender Pay Gap Crisis

Human Resources managers at the BBC have worked tirelessly throughout the weekend (completing two days of back-to-back 6 hour shifts with reduced ginseng tea breaks) trying to eliminate the gender pay gap at the...

Reality blamed for increase of violence on television

Recent studies by a team at Oxford University have found potential links between reality and the increasing portrayal of graphic violence on TV. Many of the most popular television shows worldwide, including ratings giants The...
The Canary Website

Shock as Canary dies from its own gas

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt was today in a position where he wasn’t just on the right, but in the right. That’s about as galling as actually trying to pass a gallstone. The cause? As the utter...

Rochdale mum binge watched Netflix documentaries and is now blood spatter expert

52 year old mother of two Janice Longthorne has spent so many hours watching Netflix shows such as 'Making a Murderer' (seasons one and two) and 'The Staircase' that she now believes she is...

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