The Canary has today revealed what the mainstream media (msm) won’t. That the Tory led Government have committed mass genocide in a bid to get rid of the poor.

An editorial by Che Leon Bukharin-Pinochet presented absolutely no evidence, other than fiery rhetoric, that showed Government cuts had led to the deaths of thousands of the British population.

In the editorial Bukharin-Pinochet said,

“Cuts to frontline NHS services have led to a crisis in the NHS. This crisis is leading to thousands of patients not receiving treatment which is causing deaths. Nobody knows how many thousands this affects as the Government don’t release the true statistics on this. The msm only report what Blairites and the Tories tell them.

Once they’ve eliminated the poor they can sell all the low cost housing off to developer friends to build luxurious flats.”

When asked to present evidence Bukharin-Pinochet said, “You’re saying the Tories are innocent. Look, it’s a known fact that they hate the poor. Look at Grenfell.

Theresa May probably personally herded those people into that tower by making affordable housing so scarce.

Then, through a poorly regulated system, councils were able to cut costs by buying cladding with inadequate fire protection. Part of cutting costs was due to Tory budget cuts.

Then there’s the faulty fridge. If trading standards were better funded would that fridge have been there?

Finally, you have the cuts to fire services. If Jeremy was in charge there would be a fireman in every flat. His hose primed and ready to extinguish any fires that may start. And if there wasn’t a fire he could be there for entertainment purposes.”

However, The Canary has found an unlikely ally in David Davis.

In a secret memo to cabinet that was leaked to the Herald, Mr Davis alleges that Mr Corbyn’s healing powers could be utilised. Mr Davis believes that Corbyn should be made a lord. This would pave the way for him to replace Lourdes meaning the UK could compete successfully with France for the lucrative miracles market.

This has been dismissed by Labour insiders as a plot to smear Mr Corbyn by making him look like Jesus.

One momentum member told us, “Corbyn doesn’t look like Jesus. He’s just an ordinary bloke with a beard and sandals who goes around healing the sick and redistributing the wealth of the rich to the poor.”

Fact checked by Snopes; Plagiarised by Andrew Neil; Nancy Sinatra's favourite Rochdale satirist; sued by Chris Froome and winner of the 1922 Nobel Prize for Chemistry.* *Not all of these necessarily true.