McVitie’s and Walkers crisps back plans to decriminalise cannabis

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Mcvities and Walkers crisps have allegedly got behind a backbench revolt to decriminalise cannabis. Plans are already being made to reclassify cannabis from a class...
Ed Balls

Happy Ed Balls Day

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You know that feeling: the kids rush into your room at some ungodly morning hour and excitedly demand to know, “Has he been? Has...
Morrissey

Charles Manson was just a bit excitable claims Morrissey

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Mancunian pastry product Morrissey has upped the ante on his recent efforts to mitigate the minor fondlings of Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein by...
Boris Johnson wins Hunted

Boris Johnson evades detection to win 2020 season of Hunted

Using an impressive combination of stealth, sneakiness and bare-faced cheek, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has trounced both his opponents and his pursuers to claim...
Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen ready to die because 2016 is a total wanksplat

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82 year old legend, and the only man currently able to wear a Fedora without looking like an absolute twat, Leonard Cohen has announced...

Game Over for Womb Raider Brad Pitt

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Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, better known as 'AngRad' have announced they are to divorce after 12 years together. Spokesman and agent...

Melania Trump reveals her favourite iPod Playlist

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In an exclusive interview with The Rochdale Herald the former Eastern European 'model' and wife of President Elect Donald Trump revealed her favourite iPod playlist.
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn wins prestigious Tony Blair peace prize

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Jeremy Corbyn has been awarded the prestigious Tony Blair peace prize and the Rochdale Herald is the only news outlet to report it. The prize...

Tom Hiddleston does a runner.

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Tom Hiddleston, the one and only attractive ginger man in the world, has scarpered after news broke today that his relationship with Taylor Swift...

George Osborne admits he’s Banksy confessing “it was my first job”

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Evening Standard Editor George Osborne is rightfully popular with recruitment specialists but few people are aware of his first job as famous, mysterious street...

That famous bloke from that thing has died, aged 86

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That guy from that thing, you know the thing, the thing with the other guy that died, has passed away following a long battle...

Trump threatens military action against ‘rocket man’

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President Trump used his recent address to the UN Security Council to threaten ‘rocket man’ Sir Elton John, who he accuses of attempting to...

Awkward moment for Joseph as Jesus gets Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas

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In what has been described as the most awkward Christmas gift ever; Jesus has been given an Ancestry UK DNA testing kit for Christmas. One...

Colombia fears double dip recession following death of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

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Government officials in Colombia have issued warnings of a double dip recession following the death of former "it girl" Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Former socialite and...
Castle in woods

Icons of children’s entertainment to take refuge for the rest of 2017

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Children’s authors, presenters and actors are seeking hiding places for the rest of 2017, the Rochdale Herald has learned. This year has seen, in very...

Rochdale Rap Star Arrested On Drug Charges

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Hip hop maestro and rap superstar, 30 Bob, from Milnrow Rochdale, was arrested last week on drugs charges we can exclusively reveal. In a statement...

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