Traffic

Workman spotted doing some work on the £15BN M62 Roadworks

The bloke who is doing all the work on the £15BN M62 road improvement scheme has been spotted on site for the first time...

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales

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The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Piers Morgan

Piers Morgan leads star studded sing along to F**k Tha Police

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Piers Morgan shared a video on Tuesday night showing him and other self-quarantined celebrities singing NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" "Hi guys.  Day who knows what...
Amber Rudd

Amber Rudd denies plan to make immigrants wear targets

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Amber Rudd was today left with egg on her face after a leaked email detailing a new strategy to combat immigration levels and increase...

Army called in to Burnley find ‘riot’ just sale at Farmfoods

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The British Army was deployed in Burnley town centre earlier today to quell civil unrest apparently taking place in the city's popular shopping district. Army...
Football

Theresa May smashes transfer fee record by buying 10 Northern Irish defenders for £1.5BN

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Theresa May today totally smashed Paul Pogba's world transfer fee record into smithereens after purchasing 10 Northern Irish defenders for a yet to be...

Tories announce mass culling of Wombles

Animal rights protesters were today up in arms after the news that the culling of Wombles is to go ahead as recent indications suggest...
British Army

Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists

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A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views. Cal Low, who...
Audi A5

Audi driver denies allegations he used indicators

An Audi driver from Rochdale has denied allegations that he used his indicators whilst driving on the M62 last Tuesday morning. At least one woman...

Office tea expert ‘just sad’ reveals study

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  It was confirmed today that people who make a song and dance about brewing and drinking tea are among the saddest characters in any...
Buckingham Palace

Donald Trump declares Buckingham Palace ‘shit hole’ and offers to pay for repairs.

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After a petition to stop the orange Hitler visiting the Queen passed 1.7 million signatures, the tyrannical dictator offered to meet the new President...

Bad dishwasher etiquette is evidence of evolution running backwards

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Anthropologists working at the University of Bath today released a study which they claim demonstrates that the human race appears to be separating into...
Fox hunting

If we didn’t hunt foxes, horses would only do it themselves

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An avid fox hunter has spoken out against the notion that his chosen 'sport' is in any way cruel to fox, hound or horse. Sir...
Ryanair

Birmingham Airport begins Windows 10 update

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Birmingham Airport officials have announced they've accidentally started a Windows 10 update. The update is alleged to have caused the air traffic control centre...
Teaching Cat

Wheelie Bin Cat purr-sues career as guard dog trainer

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Lola the ninja feline, from Coventry, was once again discovered in a rather strange location. This time it was in a Romford working men’s...
Smiling woman

Woman who said she’s fine really is fine

In a world first a woman from Rochdale who told her husband that she was “fine” has turned out to really be “fine”. Genuinely...

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