UKIP launch investigation into how 3 of its members managed to read a map
UKIP have launched an immediate inquiry into how 3 of its members managed to read a map and several signs to find a book...
London celebrates first “Gammon Pride” event
Scotland Yard and the Met Police are bracing for potential violent clashes at a "Gammon Pride" event being held in London today.
The event will...
Local hero returns from stay in hotel with both his iPhone charger and toothbrush
A local man is being hailed as some sort of hero after managing to return home from a stay in a hotel with both...
Shake ‘n’ Vac composer to have ashes scattered on carpet and hoovered up by...
Following reports that the composer of the 1980's Shake 'n' Vac advertising jingle has died, a source close to his family has confirmed that...
BBC bans presenters saying “Happy Holidays” because it offends Christians
The BBC has banned presenters from using the term, "Happy Holidays" as it offends Christians.
Rochdale resident Stan Still told us, "This is PC rubbish...
QUEEN defends herself from MUSLIM IMMIGRANT with SWORD
According to reports in the Daily Mail today the Queen has been forced to defend herself from a marauding Muslim immigrant with a sword.
A...
British retail workers thrilled about opportunity to sign on using blue passport
British retail workers have revealed that they're looking forward to signing on with blue passports.
Cliff Edge told us, "Not having a job or any...
Man who’s never met a squaddie shocked army contains right wing extremists
A Rochdale man has told of his shock at discovering that some members of the British Army hold extreme right wing views.
Cal Low, who...
Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham
The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...
Rupert Murdoch’s face breaks ageing app
Media tycoon and ancient demonic scrotum, Rupert Murdoch has broken viral photo editor FaceApp, attempting to see what his face would look like in...
Remote Scottish regions report shortages of wicker.
Reports are reaching us of shortages of some unexpected commodities in rural Scotland.
This follows human slug, Rod Liddle's advice in Der Spectator that people...
Everybody wondering where the one car with snow on it came from
Drivers all over the UK are wondering where the hell that one car with snow on it has come from.
"Where on Earth has that...
Lemming suicide myth rebunked
For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss...
Facebook servers crash after everyone announces they’re drinking Prosecco
Facebook couldn't be logged into earlier today after millions of people updated their statuses with things like;
"The Prosecco is open! You know what that...
Prince Philip deemed fit to work after ATOS work capability assessment
Prince Philip has today gone under the knife for surgery on his dodgy hip.
However 30 minutes later he was deemed fit to work in an...
Doing Right Thing Would Set Dangerous Precedent, Says Prime Minister
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she won't intervene in David Cameron's scheme to reward all his mates with Honours.
"Listen here," said an...
