Parents Bigger Liars Than Politicians
Research done by students at Rochdale's Kingsway Park school suggests that parents are bigger liars than politicians.
6th Former Tom Wilkes who was head of the...
Government promises next batch of fivers ‘will be halal’
There was an outpouring of fury earlier this week from vegetarians, vegans and religious groups as it was revealed that our new £5 notes...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Haggis ‘just a joke we play on the English’ admits Scotland
With Burns Night suppers planned across Scotland tonight, people are gearing up for the annual celebration of everything it means to be Scottish: fine...
Great weather for ducks, confirm ducks
Ducks around the UK have confirmed that they are having a really lovely day and are enjoying the weather.
Speaking from the middle of a...
Inside the Dark Underbelly of Kensington: Salad Dealers
Our Herald undercover reporter uncovers the sinister side of the illegal Kensington salad trade.
It’s 2 a.m. and I’m standing outside an all-night coffee shop...
Radical preacher Anjem Choudary Wins a Five-and-a-Half Year Contract to Radicalise UK Prison Population
The 49-year-old was today offered the position at the Old Bailey after an exhaustive selection process. Police say Choudary will now have a captive...
Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod
In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...
Remain scaremongering smells likes truthmongering admits Mark Carney following sniff test
Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England, the place where they invent money, has admitted that remain campaigners accused of scaremongering may actually...
Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...
A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.
Daily Telegraph releases images of MPs it thinks should wear EU flag armbands
The Daily Telegraph has today released photos of the M.P's it says should wear arm bands that signify their mutineer status.
The paper says that...
Labour Party member forced to deny he’s joined a cult
A Labour Party member who has attended their conference has been forced to deny he has joined a cult.
Bill Board has spent the last...
Extreme weather leaves KFC with too much chicken
As 'The Beast From The East' takes a firm hold across the UK, KFC have announced that it is overrun with chicken as no...
Labour Unveil New All White Party Flag
Thanks to Labour another Article 50 bill amendment that would have risked empowering the British people, who are now known to be idiots, has...
Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw, has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...
Michael Gove is still a bellend, says Michael Gove’s mum
Christine Gove, adoptive mother of Michael Gove MP has come out saying "he is still a bit of a bellend."
It comes after the failed...
