Local News

Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg." Max explained. "It had become excruciating. One day someone was going...

Your neighbour has confirmed he won’t be parking his car in his drive. He believes that the role of his drive is to provide an optimum diagonal route between his front door and his gate...

The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.

A local woman is said to be furious to discover that she isn't actually OCD. "I clean the floor and hoover the curtains three times a day!" Barbara Dickinson, a 47 year old bank teller...

A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.  Carried out at the Rochdale Exchange we asked shoppers if they were concerned with...

Due to severe cut backs, Rochdale Infirmary is to trial working office hours only. This is a first in the UK since the inception of the NHS. The proposal will see the busy hospital...

Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him. Mr Thomas has been working for his current agency, Imcomp & Tense, on a...

150-times winner of the 12-monthly Rochdale Herald annual 'Best satirical news site, based in Rochdale', the Rochdale Herald, has recently left readers puzzled.   It is claimed that the Herald has taken to being serious...

As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again. Despite months of endless downpours, and one of the wettest winters on record,...

Derek Winstanley of Rochdale was today emotionally reunited with his sock after a heart-wrenching appeal went viral amongst bored middle-managers & housewives who wanted to feel caring & important. The appeal, started yesterday by Debbie...

The British Council For Drinking More Beer (BCFDMB) rolled out their latest advertising initiative, a series of billboard posters to be prominently displayed in the Rochdale area, to mixed responses this afternoon. "People simply aren't...

Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a recession was not connected to the EU referendum results. "I know...

Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale. The famous bicycle race starts at The Duckworth Arms in Ramsbottom and ends The Bay Horse in...

Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty McBoatface is now the second most popular boys name in...

There were scenes of jubilant confusion in the Middleton area this afternoon after a Rochdale woman discovered that her husband had refilled the toilet roll in the downstairs loo. "I couldn't believe my eyes." Barbara...