Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

First Burnley resident to complete 40 minute mile dies at 29

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The Rochdale Herald is sad to report that the first Burnley resident to complete the 40 minute mile has died aged 29. Bill Board completed...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...

Yeovil MP threatens local Mum with legal action over Facebook page

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Fop haired twat and Yeovil MP Marcus "doesn't respond to emails" Fysh has become embroiled in a freedom of speech row on Twitter and...

Spanish Armada weatherman in the drink after Michael Fish moment

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“Forecasting weather in Spain is easy.” Senor Dos explained, bobbing up and down on a piece of driftwood in the English Channel. “It’s always good.”
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

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Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...

PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England

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The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.

Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit

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Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...

Rochdale’s Indian Youth Bemoan Lack of “English” Takeaways

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Rochdale's Indian youth have complained that there is a distinct lack of  late night 'English' takeaway food available in the town. "You know what it's...
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

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Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption. Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

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Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...
Dog Shitting in Car

Police free distressed dog left in locked car in Burnley carpark

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POLICE were forced to smash the window of a locked car parked outside Asda in order release a distressed dog inside the vehicle on...

British celts forced to admit fighting trousers no good against Roman legionaries

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“The weather was our best asset.” The Society admitted. “There were voices in the early years of Roman expansion within Britannia who argued we should just hold a non-stop series of BBQ’s for the Romans until they got fed up trying to spit things in the rain and went home. It's actually how we got rid of Caesar back in BC dates.”
Audi A5

Audi driver has above average sized penis

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There were scenes of disbelief in Rochdale today after a man who drives a convertible Audi A5 was found to be in possession of...
Satire Aid

Update – Barnardo’s children now receiving gifts from the Satire Aid appeal

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Presents bought through the Big Fat Secret Santa Appeal on Sunday 2nd and Monday 3rd December will benefit children and young people supported by...

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