First plastic fiver in Rochdale passed around pub

0
Barry Noakes, a 53-year-old welder from Heywood, walked into the Regal Moon last night like he was king of the world. He strutted to...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

0
Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...
Hideous Bathroom Suite

Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all

9
A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...

PC gone mad as hunchback becomes King of England

1
The whole show is at stake if this political correctness is allowed to go on with no thought to the feelings of traditionalists like myself. Next they’ll be naming bloody carparks after him.
Water Treatment

Lancashire residents to be given counselling as water supply found to be contaminated with...

25
Water company United Utilities has been fined £300,000 after supplying water unfit for human consumption. Nearly a million households in Lancashire were warned they should...
NewsThump

Berners-Lee quits Internet following Rochdale Herald “Row with Linda”

0
The creator of the World Wide Web has today declared that he officially "cannot be arsed" with the Internet anymore.  This comes after the revelation...

Burnley Nativity Play cancelled after search for 3 wise men and virgin ends in...

0
Burnley Council has been forced to cancel its annual community Nativity Play for the 126th consecutive year in succession. After another exhaustive search of the...

Black death condemned for being racist

0
Traditional remedies, like bleeding and mercury, have proved ineffective. Complementary therapists have suggested vaccination, but have been dismissed by mothers who prefer their infants to die naturally rather than to become autistic church goers.

Terror as trick or treaters turn out to be political canvassers

0
A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...

Couple still at bottle bank

0
A Rochdale couple is now entering their third day of disposing of bottles at their local bottle bank.

Pause in Sheffield tree felling as South Yorkshire Police launch raids on public trumpeters

0
Following the recent arrest of a woman for playing a toy trumpet at a tree felling site, and the resultant revelation that trumpeting in...

Rochdale Herald issues cease and desist warning against The Southend News Network

3
The editorial department at The Rochdale Herald was in uproar this afternoon after one of the biggest names in satirical local news blatantly ripped...
Tube Chat

Instead of ‘Tube Chat’ First busses Manchester introduce ‘Sod Off!’ badges 

0
While TFL farts about with Tube Chat badges angry commuters in the chatty northern city of Rochdale have been wearing them with some varying...
Building Fire

Rochdale pub burns down after local man pokes fire while looking at mantlepiece

0
Tragedy has struck a Rochdale landmark pub, The Baum, over the weekend causing literally pounds of damage when fire swept through the building. Firefighters who...

Fears for Missing Dog as owners reveal ‘he just wanted to know who’s a...

0
There are fears for the safety of a missing Rochdale Golden Retriever who is reportedly suffering an "existential crisis."

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