Luxury goods shop

Local luxury goods firm goes bust

0
  High end retailer, Lewis Veeton Moway, has closed its doors for the last time, citing poor sales despite a massive promotional campaign. Rupert Cholmondley-Featherstonehaugh, the...
Writer

It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist

2
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news. "It's...

Rochdale spies suffer eye strain after being exposed to local man’s tackle

0
Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...

Local man feels a right twat after putting his back out in the gym

0
Local man Steve Dickinson (39 and a half) put his back out this morning in the gym whilst trying to get fit for a...

Really clean woman furious with ‘Not OCD’ diagnosis

0
A local woman is said to be furious to discover that she isn't actually OCD. "I clean the floor and hoover the curtains three times...

Homeless Bloke says Stop buying me McDonald’s, I’m homeless not f***ing desperate

20
A homeless Rochdale man has been telling the Herald about how he's fed up of virtue signalling people only buying him McDonald's meals. David Wild...

‘This isn’t some sort of police state’ says Sheffield man running police state

0
As he despatched six mini-buses of police officers carrying riot gear to a site where a council-paid contractor was due to fell a line...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

0
Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...

Archbishops To Sue Builders Over Health and Safety Gone Mad

0
A group of five Archbishops of Canterbury are to sue the building firm Klumsi 'n Fook.  Klumsi 'n Fook, were carrying out renovation works on...

Middle aged man pulls off the double denim look

0
A middle aged man from Halifax has done the impossible and pulled off the double denim look. Glenn Clarke, 53, from Bury in Lancashire, a...

Terror as trick or treaters turn out to be political canvassers

0
A Rochdale man has today been speaking about his ordeal at the hands to some political canvassers he mistook for trick or treaters.  Bill Board...

Rochdale Man breaks record for Most Conspiracies Believed

7
Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe...
steak pie

Burnley Analytica implicated in Pie Market fixing scandal

The highly influential research and strategy group, Burnley Analytica, have been accused of unfairly influencing the, multi-pound Northern Pie Market. An undercover investigation, by Baked...

People nobody has heard of resign from party that no longer has purpose

UKIP, the party whose sole purpose was to foster the UK public to vote to leave the EU- which happened despite them- is apparently...

Norman Conquest renamed as nobody wanted a King Norman I

1
The Normans, with their cry of "Battle Means Battle!" defeated the English army, shooting an arrow into the eye of the English King Harold. Bet he didn't see that coming.

Follow us

61,169FansLike
29,631FollowersFollow
21,670FollowersFollow

Popular Posts