It’s too damn hot to write satire says satirist
Dick Turnip, writer for the Rochdale Herald, has been left unable to write a single humorous thing commenting on, or parodying the day's news.
"It's...
Danczuk Less Popular than standing in dog shit
Here at the Herald we've seen numerous "news" sources state that Britain's answer to Donald Trump has considerable support amongst Labour Party members. We somehow...
Theresa May to communicate Brexit deal using dance
Theresa May will communicate the UK's Brexit plan to the House of Commons later today using the medium of dance.
One insider told us, "The...
Gay traffic lights turn pavements to mince
Transport for London have overstepped the mark by introducing gay traffic lights according to Rochdale father of two, Arthur Branesell.
"Its outrageous! There's one with...
Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...
Simon Danczuk wins Prestigious most Tory Tweet Award 2017 Le Chatte d’Or
Simon Danczuk has won the 2017 most Tory Tweet Award after taking to Twitter to complain about homeless beggars in Rochdale today.
Industrial Action Threatened as British Workers Jobs at Threat in Languages Row
Reports that several British workers have had their employment terminated from the world famous British sofa manufacturer Zestra, because they failed to learn Polish...
War of the Roses: The Rematch
Rochdalians reacted with righteous fury over news of what is seen at best as an aggressive land grab and, at worst, a declaration of...
Anti-Vaxxer has very messy carpet
In an ironic twist that would give Alanis Morissette a run for her money, local Anti-Vaxx campaigner Tarquin O'Flerfer is reported to have a...
Christmas Miracle declared after BMW driver regains sight after parking in disabled spots
A Christmas Miracle has been declared after a disabled man was completely cured after parking his BMW across two handicapped parking bays at Rochdale Waitrose.
Archbishops To Sue Builders Over Health and Safety Gone Mad
A group of five Archbishops of Canterbury are to sue the building firm Klumsi 'n Fook.
Klumsi 'n Fook, were carrying out renovation works on...
Sheffield Tree Protestors Charged With Doing Nothing Illegal Are Freed
Two lovely blokes who were recently charged with doing absolutely nothing illegal by the dark forces of South Yorkshire police and Sheffield Council were...
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
There’s a bloke works in our chip shop and he swears he’s Kim Jong...
A Rochdale fish and chip shop owner has been telling us how one of his employees is convinced he Kim Jong Un.
Ray Fry told...
Unnamed Rochdale MP to be charged with being drunk in charge of a mobility...
An as yet unnamed MP for Rochdale has allegedly been arrested for being drunk in charge of a mobility scooter.
Police were called in the...
Serious satirists no laughing matter
150-times winner of the 12-monthly Rochdale Herald annual 'Best satirical news site, based in Rochdale', the Rochdale Herald, has recently left readers puzzled.
It...
