Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II

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Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

Home Worker facing HR disciplinary hearing after sexually assaulting himself at work Christmas Party

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A home worker from Rochdale is facing a disciplinary hearing today after he allegedly sexually assaulted himself after getting drunk at his office Christmas...

Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost

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One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...

Suspicious package that led to Burnley hospital evacuation identified as basket of fruit

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A 'suspicious package' that led to the evacuation of Burnley General Hospital earlier today has been identified as a basket of fruit, according to...
sperm bank

Man who failed GCSE science now an expert in Novichok

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A Rochdale man who failed GCSE science has revealed that he is now an expert in Novichok. Bill Board revealed his previously hidden talents...

Man who had letter published in local paper astonished that nothing changed

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A Rochdale resident, Mr P. Scratching, was overjoyed when his letter to the editor of the Rochdale Herald was published in full with only...

Real housewives of Rochdale Town scrapped

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Channel 5 has announced that it has scrapped its planned series "Real Housewives Of Rochdale Town" after the pilot episode turned out to be...

Man buying surprise ironing board for wife’s birthday asks what colour she wants –...

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A Rochdale man has explained what happened when, on a whim, he decided to buy his wife an ironing board for her birthday and...

Rochdale woman who found Hitler’s face on slice of toast converts to Nazism

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A Rochdale woman who found Hitlers face in a slice of toast has revealed she's converted to Nazism. The woman's son said, "About a week...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

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German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently...

Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.

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Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...
Socks and a tie on Rochdale man's Christmas list

Socks and a tie on Rochdale man’s Christmas list

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Rochdale resident Steve Dickinson is hoping for unusual Christmas presents from his wife Barbara this year.  "I'm running really low on socks, so some of...
Range Rover

Range Rover found parked inside the lines

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There are concerns for the welfare of the owner of a Range Rover found parked within the white lines of just two parking spaces...

Rochdale Man breaks record for Most Conspiracies Believed

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Local man, Kelvin Pastie, 31, an unemployed something or the other, believes he is one of the only people in the world to believe...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

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Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...
Old man smoking

Police find cannabis farm at Rochdale old folks home

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Cannabis plants have been uncovered at 'Bright Horizons' home for the elderly, Kirkholt, this morning. Police describe the haul as a kick in the...

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