Home Office Play Matchmaker for Rochdale’s Bridget Joneses

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The Rochdale Herald can reveal controversial Home Office plans to settle new male immigrants in areas of Britain with too many single women in...
Massive Spider

Gigantic spider pokes two holes in upholstery of sofa according to four year old...

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Lancashire Police have urged the public to be vigilant today after a reputed sighting of a gigantic spider who breaks into homes to poke...

World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field

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World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale. One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...

Rochdale woman shocked when confronted by reality

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Rochdale bride Shanice Kerslake was reduced to tears when a Marks and Spencer boss declared her wedding cake "shit". Mrs Kerslake, 52, had designed the...

Panic as rebel Corbynistas take West Didsbury

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Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the...

Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day

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Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...

Hipster admits it is “exhausting” being a tool 24/7

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Every now and then a new fad will infect society and be scoffed at by decent people, until it fades away into the abyss,...
Snow on trees

Rochdale Council to vote on plan to colour snow

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Rochdale Council are to consider a plan to colour snow to make it more representative of the cultural mix of the area. The Rochdale Multi-Cultural...

Bacup bakery follow Delta Airlines’ lead, withdraw Britain First discount.

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Following the conviction of their leaders for advanced wankery, local Britain First members today received another body blow.  In line with a recent decision...

Rochdale council to trial bi-monthly bin collections

Rochdale Council's Refuse Planner, Frederick West, made the announcement on the council's Facebook page last week. "Since the resounding success of our bi-weekly refuse collections...
Dinner party group

Cheap bottle of wine is eventually returned to original gift giver

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A bottle of £3.50 red wine from Lidl, which was brought to a house warming, has finally been returned to the cheapskate couple that...

Self-publicist Simon Danczuk MP fails to start Twitter war with Vince Cable

Disgraced labour MP, serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk accused the former Business Secretary Sir Vince Cable of being "old hat" on...
Twat

Man who called neighbour Greg for eight years disappointed to learn he’s actually called...

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Maximilian Fontwhistle has professed to being furious about wasting energy trying to be a good neighbour. "For eight years my neighbour has been calling me Greg."...

Hull favourite for Turner prize for ironic depiction of City of Culture

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Kingston Upon Hull has been tipped by the bookies to win the Turner Prize for Irony this year. The famed port city and its people...
Hideous Bathroom Suite

Couple decide not to get new bathroom after all

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A couple from Middleton have decided not to get a new bathroom suite after reading in The Daily Mash about a couple who decided...

Rochdale spies suffer eye strain after being exposed to local man’s tackle

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Two of Rochdale's well known top secret spies were today recovering in Specsavers after local man, Fred Higglesworth, exposed himself after drinking ten pints...

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