Salem trial lawyer says he’ll never work no win no fee in village again
“I’m very upset. This doesn’t seem fair. I did hours on this nonsense.” Rooster added. “I’d say my earnings went up in smoke, only that wouldn't be accurate, as they hung my clients, all nineteen of them. The bums.”
Grandparent babysitting for half term wonders “Is it too early for a drink?” Monday...
A grandparent who nonchalantly offered to babysit for the entire half term week has already wondered if it's too early for a drink?
Granny Syllable,...
Froom wins fourth Tour de Rochdale
Albert Froom was declared the winner of the Brown Vest yesterday after winning his fourth Tour De Rochdale.
The famous bicycle race starts at The...
Panic as rebel Corbynistas take West Didsbury
Residents of the leafy south Manchester suburb of West Didsbury were forced to spit their skinny lattes out in shock this morning after the...
Rochdale Bypass Approved
The rest of the UK today approved a bypass scheme for Rochdale. Using an EU grant while it is still available, the plan entails...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II
Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...
Brexit Deal Threatens Iconic Rochdale Signpost
One of Rochdale's most iconic landmarks, the Welcome to Rochdale; Arsehole of Europe' signpost, has come under threat as Britain gears up for leaving...
Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero
Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...
First Burnley resident to complete 40 minute mile dies at 29
The Rochdale Herald is sad to report that the first Burnley resident to complete the 40 minute mile has died aged 29.
Bill Board completed...
3rd Day of Sunshine sees Hose Pipe Bans Across UK
As the heatwave currently hitting the UK enters its third day water companies across Britain have enforced hose pipe bans once again.
Despite months of...
The Beckhams ditch L.A for glorious Rochdale
Today the Herald can exclusively reveal the jaw dropping news that the world's biggest star, glamour model, fashion icon, tireless charity worker and one...
Germany devoid of German Christmas markets
German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.
With every British town apparently...
Rochdale DFS Sale has finally ended
Rochdale DFS announced the first end of a sale for a decade after running out of sofas yesterday.
DFS customers in Rochdale are expected to...
Spanish Armada weatherman in the drink after Michael Fish moment
“Forecasting weather in Spain is easy.” Senor Dos explained, bobbing up and down on a piece of driftwood in the English Channel. “It’s always good.”
Hull favourite for Turner prize for ironic depiction of City of Culture
Kingston Upon Hull has been tipped by the bookies to win the Turner Prize for Irony this year.
The famed port city and its people...



















































