Rochdale couple speak of leaving embarassing ‘Jacob Rees-Mogg’ phase

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Two grandparents from Rochdale have spoken about emerging from the embarrassing 'Jacob Reees-Mogg' phase of their life. Orla Board told us, "We'll look back at...

UK’s 2nd most popular boys name is currently Boaty McBoatface

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Latest figures released on the governments website www.gov.co.uk reveal the good old British sense of humour is alive and well as almost unbelievably Boaty...

Topless Danczuk in topless holiday prison catfight scandal

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The owner of a Villa in Alicante is said to be furious after discovering the Danczuk's had been holidaying in his property. Simon Danczuk, God...
Dog Shitting in Car

Police free distressed dog left in locked car in Burnley carpark

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POLICE were forced to smash the window of a locked car parked outside Asda in order release a distressed dog inside the vehicle on...

Harvey Weinstein is a Democrat is the new Hitler was a Vegetarian

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Hip new fashy fashion hits Brownhill School All the coolest kids in Brownhill School, Rochdale, have adopted it.  “Yeah well, Harvey Weinstein was a Democrat so...

It is too soon to spoon say Northern Rail commuters

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Northern Rail commuters have confirmed that the length of time it takes to get to work is definitely too soon to spoon. 28 year old...

Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed

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A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed. “He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...

Estate agent knows you want to fire him

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Terry Thomas, 33, a south London real estate agent, is aware every single one of his clients wants to fire him. Mr Thomas has been...
Massive Spider

Gigantic spider pokes two holes in upholstery of sofa according to four year old...

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Lancashire Police have urged the public to be vigilant today after a reputed sighting of a gigantic spider who breaks into homes to poke...
Nude woman wrapped in police tape

Rochdale women clubbing dressed in police tape

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Fashionable Rochdale women have found a rather special use for police tape - as clothing to hit the town in. Local artist and bin man,...

Rochdale trolley collector quits job, anaesthetises pigeon and cuts off let to pursue career...

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A Rochdale man has today spoken exclusively to the Herald about his short-lived career as a pirate. Captain Lidl Beard had been working as a...

Stockport Town Centre awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

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There were celebrations the length of Heaton Moor to Hazel Grove yesterday, as UNESCO officials announced Stockport Town Centre is to become a World...

Red hot poker denies involvement in death of Edward II

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Edward’s distraught widow, Isabella of France, and his best friend, Roger Mortimer, have declared in a joint statement that they will get to the bottom of Edward’s death...

Hipster admits it is “exhausting” being a tool 24/7

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Every now and then a new fad will infect society and be scoffed at by decent people, until it fades away into the abyss,...

Local commuters in conversation horror near miss

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One person was mortified and several others were left badly discomforted today after routine niceties at a bus stop almost ended in a conversation. The incident,...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...

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