My cats are like my children, says woman whose cat raped stranger in bush...
A woman whose cats regularly rape strangers in bushes on nights out has insisted that her cats are like her children.
Part time hairdresser Barbara...
Wife suspects husband of having an affair with his shed
A wife has begun to suspect her husband of having an affair with his shed.
“He was the most doting husband when we first married,”...
Traffic chaos as ALF steal M62 cat’s eyes
The M62 was plunged into chaos last night following the removal of nearly 500 cat's eyes from the motorway at Junction 20 by the...
‘Childhood vaccines prolonged my agonising march towards death’ claims nihilist.
A local nihilist has started a campaign against vaccinations, arguing that they force children to endure the pain and sadness of their futile existence.
Stephen...
Local man furious no refugees coming to his village
A resident of East Lancashire village Potterby has said that he is furious that the government has ignored Potterby when allocating accommodation for Syrian...
Paul Nuttall in surprise bid to become MP for Covfefe
In a move which has delighted the electorate of Boston and Skegness, Nuttall has transferred his allegiance. Nutcase claims divine intervention: "According to the Gospel of...
Scatter Cushion Killer walks free
Rochdale Crown Court today saw the conclusion of the now infamous "Scatter Cushion Slaying" case.
The accused, Abraham Smith (54), from the Sink Estate pleaded...
Attenborough spotted in Rochdale as folk turn primitive
Residents of Rochdale coming to terms with the swear ban are having to learn how to communicate from scratch.
Restricted from their usual expletive fuelled...
Salem trial lawyer says he’ll never work no win no fee in village again
“I’m very upset. This doesn’t seem fair. I did hours on this nonsense.” Rooster added. “I’d say my earnings went up in smoke, only that wouldn't be accurate, as they hung my clients, all nineteen of them. The bums.”
Drowning Man Rescued from Gorton Pothole
Following a night out with his mates, a man who fell into a pothole in Gorton, Manchester was rescued by a passing stranger.
The...
World hunger solved after Jeremy Corbyn urinates on field
World hunger has been declared over after Jeremy Corbyn urinated on a field just outside Rochdale.
One aide told us, "Jeremy was returning from one...
Rochdale sex romp for Ozone Day
Friday 16th of September was World Ozone Day but residents of a care home in Rochdale have been getting hot under the collar after...
Funeral business booming thanks to Tory policy
Funeral services are enjoying an unprecedented rise in trade thanks to the reforms in disability benefits and the selling off of NHS services.
Although ATOS, the...
SNN and Rochdale Herald in Plagiarism Mr Tumble Rumble
The Internet exploded this morning amidst claims that The Rochdale Herald is not only guilty of making up the news but has been plagiarising...
New bay platform at Rochdale station opens
Great news for Rochdalians!
As of October there are now 4- count em! 4- platforms at the beautiful train station!
The new platform - actually a...
Lisa Stansfield’s New Album Celebrates Rochdale Hero
Fans of Rochdale songstress Lisa Stansfield will be pleased to hear that her latest release, the eighth album from the evergreen pop sensation, is out...
