PG tips bribery scandal uncovered as Tim Farron makes ‘put the kettle on’ jibe

In the wake of the Leaders debate on the BBC, it has been alleged that lib dem leader Tim Farron was paid a substantial amount by PG Tips to make his closing remark. Farron took the opportunity...

Farage Demands Second French Presidential Election

Nigel Farage has claimed the victory of Macron over Le Pen of 65% v 35% is scandalous. Just inappropriate. Undemocratic. Pathetic. "Fifty two to forty eight. That's the proper margin. That allows those like myself...

May to appeal to Supreme Court ruling at European Court of Justice

In a move that has thoroughly confused political observers, Theresa May has instructed the Attorney General to appeal today's Supreme Court judgement on Article 50 to the European Court of Justice. "The sovereignty of the...

Trump hails Polish culture saying “Pole dancers are the best, I’m a huge fan,...

US President Donald Trump Thursday attempted to cement US-Polish relations in a speech delivered in the Polish capital Warsaw on the first day of a four day European tour. Speaking in front of a large...
The Pope

Top Vatican paedophiles and the Pope claim Transgender people are ‘crime against God’

Frock wearing top Catholic wizard Pope Francis has decided that transgender people are a crime against God. "They teach children -children!- that they can choose gender!" he exclaimed to cries of "And?" "Thank God for that,"...

Singing Ringing Tree to be felled for post-Brexit firewood

Britain's exit from the European Union is set to spell the end for some of the country's best loved children's TV programmes, it was revealed Wednesday. With post Brexit Britain set to scrap EU environmental...

Catalonia makes a break for Eurovision glory

Catalonia today announced a bold step to break out on their own and go for it alone. Not since the 11th century has there been such a demand in Catalonia to sing from the...
Marine Le Pen

Marine Le Pen demands Malian be charged with breaking and entering

Marine Le Pen has demanded to know why a Malian refugee was given citizenship and not arrested for breaking and entering over the weekend. The man saved the life of a small child after...

Italians face criticism over construction. 

The Italian government had come under severe criticism today for the standards of its building construction in the 1600's. This comes in the wake of the earthquake that has left 270 dead in the...

German families to heat homes using hot air from Donald Trump

German families are to use the hot air that emanates from Donald Trump to heat their homes. The news was broken by the German Government this afternoon following a successful meeting where POTATUS offered to...

Leave campaigner forced to abandon argument after forgetting what Brexit means

Panic today as vocal anti-EU campaigner, Dennis Pigwater, forgot a crucial piece of his argument during an online debate. Dennis, 58, from Rochdale, was engaged in his favourite pastime of debating politics on social media...

Beekeeper stung to death after Danish Police force him to remove veil

Denmark was in shock today after a Danish beekeeper was stung to death in a tragic apiculture accident in Denmark. The news comes just days after Marie Abeille was arrested by the Secret Police for...

EU offers bribe of better UK weather if we remain

The European Union, desperate for the UK to remain, have said that the proposed European Standard Weather system due to come into operation early next year, could be extended to the UK - but...
Union flag with "Brexit" ove it

‘MPs Must Respect Democracy’ Demand People With Negligible Grasp Of Democracy

MPs from all parties and from all areas of Britain are being called upon by smug triumphalists to deliver a near unanimous vote in favour of triggering Article 50. "Stands to reason, dunnit?" said Kevin...

Germany devoid of German Christmas markets

German shoppers are disappointed that they have nowhere to buy lots of pointless tat in the run up to Christmas.  With every British town apparently having a German Christmas market now, Germans are wondering where...

UK border agency given right to conduct posthumous deportations

The UK border agency has been given the green light to start deporting the interred remains of people not born in the UK, a spokesman for the Agency confirmed to the Rochdale Herald Monday. The...

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