US celebrates Independence Day by ceding from Trump
Secret delegations from the 50 states of the United States of America have agreed a plan to avoid the impeachment of Donald Trump as...
I don’t need no intelligence, I got this far without none says Trump
Donald Trump confounded satirists again this week after sensationally declaring that he doesn't need intelligence as he has managed to get this far without it.
Rochdale Herald boycotts future White House coverage
In a shock announcement, the Founding Editor of this esteemed organ has declared it will be withdrawing from future coverage of the current White House...
Trump to play 25 rounds of golf in honour of Texan dead
Donald Trump has defended a decision to play 25 rounds of golf in Japan saying it's in honour of the dead in Texas.
The gesture...
Bad guys with guns get more practice complain good guys with guns
Good guys with guns in America went on the record this morning to complain they're unfairly getting a bad reputation after failing to prevent the 2078th successive mass shooting since 2,000.
Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO
The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today.
LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...
UK “unsafe” says Trump as British Armed Police “Worst in the World”
Donald Trump has declared Britain "unsafe for US Citizens" as the UK Armed Police have been named the worst in the World on the...
Trump turns down White House sexual harassment course because ‘I’m already pretty good at...
News broke this morning that Donald Trump has turned down an offer from the White House human resources department to attend a special course...
Trump’s American Dream – 25 Million to Leave the Country
Donald J. Trump unveiled a pledge on Thursday to create 25 million jobs over the next decade, but experts are arguing whether they strictly...
Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release
A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Melania Trump faces criticism for wearing “Exterminate” t-shirt to Holocaust Memorial
Melania Trump is faces yet more criticism today after wearing a Dalek’s t-shirt during a visit to the Holocaust Memorial in Berlin.
Trump awards Trump Imaginary Medal of Honor for imaginary heroics
President of the actually terrific US, Donald Trump, is to reward his own bravery with a special medal, the Purple Cheeseburger, after his courage...
White House desperately concealing news of Twitter character increase from Trump
The twittersphere is in overdrive this morning with millions of users tweeting out their hope that the White House is able to conceal the...
Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr
Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
I don’t care what UK Ambassador thinks of me, says dickhead who won’t shut...
A giant man dayglo baby who won't stop whining about somebody who said some mean things about him has declared on Twitter that he...
Kim Jong Un can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul
“Kim Jong Un? He can’t dance, that brother ain’t got no Seoul. You know I put the rump into Trump babycakes. When I slut drop you know it’s going to be fire and fury on the dance floor.”


















































