Trump loses grip on reality, demands to be new Dr Who.

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US President Donald Trump has called on the BBC to appoint him as the new Dr Who. In a series of tweets at 3am this...
Harvey Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein secures Republican 2020 Presidential Nomination

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Harvey Weinstein has officially been nominated by the Republican Party as their candidate to contest the 2020 Presidential Election. Mr Weinstein gained support from a...

When the world Trumps, you better dodge that draft

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Look at him. He’s the lad you thought was a prick at school but you still went round his house because he had a decent back garden for you to leck footy in. Except he was shit at it, and had right bad hayfever.

Obama rushed to hospital after biting through lip during Trump press conference

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President Barack Obama was rushed to hospital yesterday after sustaining injuries during a press conference. Herald reporter Scott McCracknee was there and describes what happened. "Mr...

Eric Trump banned from All-Valley Championships after breaking Daniel Larusso’s leg

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There was fresh controversy in the Trump camp this morning as allegations emerged of cheating in the All-Valley Karate Championships. In a blow to the...
Trump Salute

Trump demands to see soldier’s long form death certificate

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Donald Trump has demanded that the widow of Sgt La David Johnson release his long form death certificate following a row about whether or...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

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Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...

Trump to celebrate Father’s Day by bathing in the tears of abducted child immigrants

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US President Donald Trump is to celebrate his second Father's Day in the White House by having a bath filled with the tears of...
Donald Trump

All options on table including surprise missile attack on Tuesday, Trump tells Syria on...

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Actual real-life president of the United States of America Donald Trump has tweeted that Russia and Syria should get smart and expect a surprise...

Donald Trump thrilled Belfast is throwing a parade for him

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Donald Trump has taken time out of his busy schedule to tell reporters that he is thrilled that the people of Belfast have held...
Westboro Baptist Church

Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s

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Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...

Trump’s spin doctor quits complaining of dizzy spells

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Donald Trump's chief spin doctor Tuesday quit his job in the White House complaining of "dizzy spells". Mike Dubke, who only took up the role...

Crooked Hilary Exposed Again

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In the wake of the ongoing email scandal, an intrepid Rochdale Herald researcher, Douglas, has uncovered a series of other scandals that the...
Tony Montana

Tony Montana to become new White House communications director

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Tony Montana is set to become White House communications director following the sacking of Anthony Scaramucci today. Mr Montana was last seen toting M16A1 guns...
Ivanka Trump

Donald Trump’s penis not bigger than Kim Jong Un’s, confirms Ivanka Trump

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Sources close to the President have confirmed that Donald Trump's willy is not bigger than Kim Jong Un's. It is being reported around the world...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...

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