Trump orders 700 billion pieces of LEGO

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The President Elect reportedly ordered a vast amount of the interconnecting bricks earlier today. LEGO CEO, Jørgen Vig Knudstorp, said; "Obviously we are thrilled to...
Hurricane

State of emergency declared as Hurricane Dorian heads towards rich white people

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Category 4 hurricane 'Dorian' has caused devastation throughout the Bahamas this week. The hurricane has broken previous records of longest sustained category 5 status and...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

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Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
White Lives Matter

Bravery of white lives matter protesters saluted after US march

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I was born white and as such I face discrimination on a daily basis. Only the other day I was told I couldn't have a job in Starbucks because I have a swastika tattoo on my face. Apparently it may offend customers. It's because I'm white.

Reverse-only cars to propel American manufacturing forward

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It has been revealed that the Donald Trump administration plans to revitalise America’s former manufacturing heartland – the Rust Belt – with production of...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

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Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.

Americans horrified to learn what the word ‘amendment’ means

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As hillbillies, rednecks and evangelical Christian right wing crackpots continue to celebrate the last thrashings of America's hold on reality with their ongoing support...

Donald’s diddy digits dodge draft

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As the smokescreen around Donald Trump's draft dodging tactics intensifies The Rochdale Herald has uncovered startling new evidence. The story currently being spun is that...
Sean Spicer

Sean Spicer suspended from Labour Party over Hitler comments

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Tom Watson has announced this morning that the White House press secretary, Sean Spicer is to be investigated by the Labour Party for anti-Semitic...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...
Trump Baby

Trump eats baby in front of mother during rally

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Donald Trump hit a new low today by disembowelling a newborn baby and eating her still beating heart like an apple after she interrupted...
Trump

Man with record of making unproveable and unsubstantiated claims claims something unproveable and unsubstantiated

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Serial unproveable and unsubstantiated claim maker Anthony Gilberthorpe, 54, has come to the defence of serial gropist Donald Trump.
Donald Trump Jnr

Donald Trump denies links to Donald Trump Jnr

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Donald Trump has denied ever meeting Donald Trump Jr. The denial comes after it was revealed by Trump Jr that he had met Russian Natalia...
AR-15

Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...

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The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.   Consuming tens of...
Ladder

Trump’s view on border wall evolves after learning the word ‘ladder’

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Donald Trump has sensationally dropped his controversial border wall plan, a key election promise, after seeing one of his Mexican labourers use a ladder for the first time.
Donald Genius Trump

The ‘J’ is for Genius, confirms Donald J Trump

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Washington - The actual real life President of the United States of America Donald J Trump has cleared up speculation over the weekend about...

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