Mass shootings ‘fact of life’ says only country where mass shootings happen
Ralph H. Ick, head of the Texas branch of the NRA made the shocking statement yesterday after seven children were slain and three were...
Virginia to ban books instead of burning them
Parents from the Virginia School District have called for an immediate ban on all novels that contain the n-word.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Of Mice...
Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants
The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.
He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...
Americans relieved to learn shooter was atheist
Concerned Americans were today relieved to hear that the Texas shooting was carried out by a human rights supporting atheist.
Initially, US citizens were horrified...
David Duke retracts Trump endorsement saying no room for “locker room banter” in politics
In sensational news today David Duke, the former head of the Ku Klux Klan, has withdrawn his support for Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump.
Trump Presidency revealed as elaborate Duke Brothers $1 bet
Reclusive Wall Street tycoons the Duke Brothers have been at it again, this time betting against US Democracy.
Shock as a US Police Department goes a whole day without shooting somebody
There was consternation across the US yesterday after the police department in Bumshart Nebrahoma went a whole day without shooting an unarmed black civilian.
Heavily...
Westboro Baptist Churchgoers saddened by news that God actually hates FAQ’s
Congregation of famously homophobic church disheartened to learn that The Almighty is 'proper hacked off with being asked the same dumb shit over and...
Canadian Diver Finds America’s Lost “Self Respect”
A commercial diver may have discovered the lost & decommissioned US “Self Respect” off the coast of Canada.
Latin America overdoses on Irony as CIA complains Russia rigged US election
Thousands of people are feared dead in Central and Latin America this week after literally laughing their heads off at the news that the...
Americans forced to drink milkshakes through AR-15 assault rifles after plastic straw ban hits...
The unjust plastic straw ban threatens the American way of life, but citizens are finding an innovative way to beat the ban.
Consuming tens of...
Trump says crying widow knew what she was getting into when she answered phone
President Donald Trump has responded to criticism that he mishandled a phone call with the grieving widow of an American serviceman killed in an...
We’re doing just fine says President of country whose hobbies include shooting children at...
The so-called President of a country that lists shooting children at school amongst its most popular hobbies has told the UK Prime Minster to...
Trump ecstatic at 99% approval rating from alt-right protesters
Speaking about the rally on Saturday Trump is alleged to have said, "There sure was a lot of people there. The press will say it was about 200 people. It looked about 45,000. That set a record. They all set a record. Obama never got that many alt-right supporters. They came because of me and I'm proud of that. It's my greatest achievement as President so far."
Nuclear Football replaced with state of the art 1979 Speak and Spell
The Secret Service and senior members of the National Security Council have taken drastic steps to toughen US Nuclear launch protocols during Donald Trump's presidency by replacing the Nuclear Football with 1979 Speak and Spell.
Donald Trump: DNA test finds ‘strong evidence’ of human DNA
US President Donald Trump has revealed that a DNA test shows "strong evidence" that he is distantly related to human beings.
He took the test...
