Melania Trump was definitely not a prostitute says Melania Trump & Daily Mail

3
Slovenian "model" and "wife" of "human being" Donald Trump has lashed out at allegations in The Daily Mail that she was a sex worker...

Southern Rail Timetable wins Man Booker Prize for fiction

0
The visionary author of Southern Rail's timetable, Bernard Jones, has been announced as the seventh winner of the Man Booker International Prize for fiction. The...
Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

1
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...
Foreign Languages

British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch

0
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday. Lord...
Kate and William

Royal baby has already earned more than you

0
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left hospital after increasing the burden on the taxpayer for a third time. The new prince, who was...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

0
Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...

Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...

0
Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him. POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...

Many Muslims not rioting in streets

2
The Rochdale Herald learned today that almost two billion Muslims around the world went about their daily business without perpetuating a single crime, let...

Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...

0
A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!

0
A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...

JK Rowling dedicates next book Harry Potter and The Dead Girl’s Voicemail to Piers...

0
JK Rowling has dedicated the next instalment of the global phenomenon Harry Potter to Piers Morgan.

‘On The Buses’ Star In 70’s Sex Shocker

0
In light of the recent revelations surrounding the scandalous sexual exploits of certain Hollywood actors and some of our own MP’s, one of Britain’s...
Rees Mogg

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...

Just 126 sleeps until Xmas, says cat

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A local cat, Elvis Snoogums, has spoken of his excitement as Christmas gets ever closer. Speaking exclusively to the Rochdale Herald Elvis told us, "Soon...

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