Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows
In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...
Cute dog is a savage little shit
A survey of very cute little dogs has discovered that almost 99.9% of them are in fact savage little bastards.
The survey which was carried...
Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales
The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Northern woman puts heating on
A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October.
Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...
Brian Cox concedes Earth is flat after spotting massive rounding error
Astrophysicists around or rather, across the world are in turmoil after Oldham-born pop-rock sensation, Professor Brian Cox today admitted that the Earth is...
Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day
In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Rochdale porn shop raider beaten off with sex toy
In a bizarre turn of events at Rochdale's number one marital aid retailer, Coxfam, a robbery was foiled when a masked intruder was beaten...
Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath
Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
British man who can speak French to be burned as a witch
According to reports the British man who has learnt to speak a foreign language fluently is to be burnt at the stake on Tuesday.
Lord...
Judge insists stabbing people is fine provided you’re rich and pretty
A Judge set a legal precedent today after ruling that stabbing someone is fine provided you are blonde, twenty four, have a posh name, great...
Only 6 sleeps until poppy day, fascist children told
The children of Fascists have been conveying their excitement at there only being 6 more sleeps until poppy day.
7 year old Bill Board said,...
It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952
It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.
You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...
Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...
Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...
