Bloke whose wife said “do what you like” thinks he’s going to get to...

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A husband whose wife told him to do whatever he likes is still not aware that he really isn’t going to get to do what he likes.

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Tommy Robinson

Tommy Robinson arrested outside Big Brother house for live streaming name of 1st evictee

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Police were called by the bigwigs at Channel 5 today to have self proclaimed journalist and all round twat Tommy Robinson removed from outside...

BBC to launch Strictly Morris Dancing. 

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Due to the success of its Strictly Come Dancing series and it's desperate search to find a Bake Off replacement, the BBC has commissioned...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

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POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

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Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...
FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Christmas Morning

Big Fat Secret Santa Update – 3,001 Christmas Presents worth £24,522.45 for kids in...

0
I had the privilege of a very happy childhood in a prosperous and loving home.  My earliest memories are of Christmas. I remember the excitement...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

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Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
trump salute

Donald Trump autobiography ‘My Struggle’ set for December release

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A spokesman for Donald Trump has announced that the eagerly anticipated Trump autobiography is set for release in early December just in time for...
Michael Gove

Being interviewed about your job is a bit like being raped, says chinless toad

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The United Kingdom has apologised "unreservedly" for making Michael Gove a Cabinet Minister after he compared being raped to being a bit like being...
Banksy

No new ‘Banksys’ have appeared since Rolf Harris got banged up

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Tie me kangaroo down Banksy, can you tell who it is yet? Well perhaps here at The Rochdale Herald we are nearer to being...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

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There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...
Lucky Childless Bastards

Lucky childless bastards book affordable holiday

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A pair of lucky childless bastards have managed to book an off-season five star holiday to an empty resort at a cost of almost...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

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A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

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