Fidget Spinners useful to distract children from the bleak reality of future under Conservatives
The latest craze sweeping the nation and captivating kids of all ages is the fidget spinner.
Originally designed to aid development, coordination, dexterity and to...
Outrage as BBC confirms NONE of tonight’s Blue Planet II animals will be wearing...
The BBC has issued an apology after leaked footage of tonight's 'Blue Planet II' revealed that NONE of the animals featured will be wearing a...
Winning a general election easier than taking benefits from orphans says woman who took...
Like the irritating eager new guy at work, dark Sith Lord and unelected PM, Theresa May, announced a snap general election 15 minutes before...
Amber Rudd launches Hate Thy Neighbour initiative
Amber Rudd announced plans today to crack down on the current outbreak of human compassion sweeping the country.
Compassion has been on the rise recently...
Humans cured of sexuality after imagining Ann Widdecombe masturbating in the bath
Scientists from Rochdale's Community University have finally managed to find a cure for human sexuality after asking people to imagine Ann Widdecombe fiddling with...
VICTORY! I am a racist, not a druggie says Hopkins
Katie Hopkins is celebrating her racist and drug-free status tonight, it has been confirmed.
Hopkins, 67, made a complaint to the Independent Press Standards Organisation...
BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket
Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally.
Previously well respected...
Archbishop Welby kicks shit out of Nigel Farage following Twitter spat
Archbishop Welby is currently helping police with their enquiries in Westminster after allegedly kerb stomping Nigel Farage.
Donald Trump tweets that he was going to be asked to marry Harry but...
Donald Trump has sensationally tweeted that Prince Harry was going to ask him to marry him.
POTUS explained on social media yesterday that he...
Clock in car mysteriously right again
There was befuddlement all over the UK this morning after every motorist in the country reported that the clock in the car is mysteriously...
Only one more sleep until Dads start Christmas shopping
Dads are said to be giddy with excitement at the news that it's only one more sleep until they can start their Christmas shopping.
Dads...
It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952
It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.
You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...
Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.
Trump held a surprise press...
Christian groups OUTRAGED as Apple replace Christian emojis with Islamojis
The next update to Apple's iOS devices will feature almost 100 Islamic emojis, dubbed Islamojis, replacing almost all Christian iconography available on the iPhone...
NHS crisis averted after 33,500 nurses found down back of sofa
Whitehall: There has been widespread relief around the UK after reports that the deepening staffing crisis in the NHS has been averted after tens...
Theresa May hires Laura Kuenssberg as political analyst
Laura Kuenssberg thrilled her BBC colleagues this evening by announcing she was leaving Aunty to work full time for Theresa May as a political...
