Fat Man on Beach

I’m not an immigrant, I’m British says Britain First supporter who lives on the...

44
When asked what he would describe himself as, as an Englishman abroad, he will usually say something like: “Im an export int I”
Children At Christmas

It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952

0
It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.  You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...
Trump Flag

All soldiers know what they are signing up for, that’s why I dodged the...

0
The West Wing has been forced to defend President Trump against malicious disinformation about his health and state of mind for months. Allegations about his...
Wrapping Presents

I’ve already wrapped all my Christmas presents, say terrifying psychopaths

0
Terrifying psychopaths around the country have taken time out from planning murders and disembowelling their neighbour's pets to tell The Rochdale Herald that they...
Donald Trump

Trump tells CNN all future press conferences will be held in Saudi Embassy

0
POTATUS has announced that he will begin to give CNN press conferences in Saudi Embassies from now on. The announcement comes as his administration complained...

Geordie accused of ‘cultural appropriation’ after wearing jacket during night out

0
A Geordie is being criticised by social media users for posting an Instagram photo of her wearing a jacket during a night out on...

Trudeau Promises Canadian Citizens A Wall. ‘U.S. Will Pay’

2
Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau reacted to the news of Donald Trump's election as US President by announcing plans for a wall to be built...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

50
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

Nigel Farage to replace David Dimbleby as host of BBC’s Question Time

0
The BBC have confirmed that Nigel Farage is to replace David Dimbleby as the host of its topical debate programme Question Time. It is understood...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

0
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...
David Davis

David Davis organises piss up in brewery on wrong day

0
The Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union reportedly organised a smashing piss up in a brewery to celebrate New Year's Eve on...

Dozens dead after Chris Grayling attempts to make cup of tea

News is coming in this morning of a terrible incident in central London that has left dozens dead and many hundreds horribly wounded. Eyewitnesses have...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

0
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

41
Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales

0
The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

0
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...

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