England fans

Mixed feelings for Tommy Robinson supporters as bloke called Ali puts England into semi...

Ruddy faced racists up and down the country are said to have mixed feelings about England getting through to the World Cup Semi Finals...

Dipshit to argue with Thicko about terrible idea

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A thicko has accepted a dipshit's challenge of a debate on the telly to sort of discuss how best to implement a dreadful idea. The...
Idris Elba

Leaked Bond script just ninety minutes of Idris Elba’s Aston Martin being stopped by...

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Latest Bond film, Stop and be Searched, shows James Bond as you have never seen him before After speculation in recent months that the next...

Satire Aid has bought 3,500 presents worth more than £31,000!

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A quick Satire Aid update for you. The amazing readers of The Rochdale Herald, NewsThump, Tuckered, U Ok Hun and Angry People in Local...

Aung San Suu Kyi surrenders Freedom of Dublin refusing to share the honour with...

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Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi has given up her Freedom of the city of Dublin in protest at sharing the distinction with Bono,...
Riot Police

Corner shop owner lynched by mob in Rochdale after caught selling Yorkshire Tea

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Marge Riley, 74, was confronted by an angry mob of local residents who objected to her display of Yorkshire Teas. “I just wanted to give...

Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West

Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”

Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain to reprise Pigeon Lady role in Home Alone...

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Piers Morgan has reportedly quit Good Morning Britain this week in order to reprise his award-winning role of Pigeon Lady in the Home Alone...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

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The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...
Sajid Javid

Sajid Javid accidentally deports himself to Pakistan

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Sajid Javid has accidentally deported himself to Pakistan. A Home Office spokesman said, "Mr Javid has said that a hard Brexit is a good thing...
Student Loans Company

Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back

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A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...

Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid

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The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
Beer

Sad wankers unable to even part a Londoner from his beer

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Sad little wankers have today expressed dismay that their plans to sow fear into our communities and bring about the downfall of society have...
Oldham

Move to rename Oldham as Oldtofu welcomed by militant vegans

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The town of Oldham, Greater Mancashire, has been praised by vegan activists, hipsters and liberal snowflakes alike for taking the progressive move of removing...

Inner city youths escape prison for dogfighting by wearing red jackets and calling people...

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Inner-city police are warning of the rise of a brutal new "sport" among the working classes, a savage, twisted parody of the fine ancient...

Jeremy Corbyn in Right Wing Political Correctness Storm

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The political right, bigots, misogynists, anti-feminists and liars across the country united yesterday, to fully embrace political correctness, after the opposition leader was accused...

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