Shop selling stuff people don’t buy goes into administration, again
People in Rochdale have been speaking of the shock at discovering HMV has collapsed again. Many thought it had gone bust years ago.
Stan...
Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion.
Following an incident over the...
Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Bloke from the Student Loans Company still thinks they’re getting their money back
A delusional representative of the Student Loans Company has said that he is still optimistic that they might get some of the money back...
Canada and Mexico to build border walls if World Bank will fund a lid
The governments of Canada and Mexico reached an historic agreement today to build 50 foot tall walls along their borders with the US on the proviso that the World Bank lends them the money for a lid.
Hundreds arrested in dawn raids for not wearing a poppy
More than 300 people have been arrested as part of an operation to prevent people who aren’t wearing a poppy to be seen in public today.
Jesus definitely said ‘Suffer the little children to come unto me, so I can...
The US Vice President, Mike Pence, has told reporters that the Trump administration's policy of keeping child migrants in cages is definitely consistent with the...
Blitz spirit redefined as refusing to get off bus because somebody has a milkshake
Nigel Farage has confirmed that when he or his party talk of 'the Blitz spirit' he is referring to the act of cowering on...
Melania did not have sex with horrible old men for money admits Daily Mail
The Daily Mail have gone on the record today to say that Melania Trump did not and never has had sex with any horrible...
Is Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre the most flaccid cockgoblin in the UK?
Unsubstantiated sources allege Dacre is comfortably the vilest hate-peddling shitweasel in the UK.
Feel free to tell us if you disagree with these allegations. But...
Fury as Brexit voter can’t get tee off time at Golf Club he isn’t...
Local Brexit voter, Steve Dickinson, is said to be furious with Manchester Golf Club after discovering he can't get the tee off times he wants since letting his membership lapse.
Mass shootings are an unsolvable problem says country with a mass shootings problem
A country that has a really serious problem with deranged lunatics buying really big guns and shooting dozens of strangers has publicly said it...
Ant McPartlin’s forehead to be used as theatre wheelchair ramp as part of community...
There was a much needed boost for disabled theatre lovers today, as a West End theatre confirmed they had secured the use of Ant...
Wales celebrates after spectacular 2016 Darwin Award victory
The population of Wales has been awarded a collective 2016 Darwin Award for its staggering act of self immolation in last year's referendum on...
ISIS claim responsibility for self-service checkouts
So called 'Islamic State' have claimed responsibility for supermarket self service checkouts.
A statement released by ISIS said they came up with the idea after...
Burnley announces plans to be available in colour by 2022
Burnley Council has announced plans for town to be available in colour from 2022.
Just the Town Centre will be effected initially. The announcement...
