Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

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Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France

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Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

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A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...
Riot

Three dead on final day of Poundworld closing down sale

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Questions are being raised following the trampling of three shoppers in riots on the final day of opening of Poundworld at Sheffield Heeley Retail...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

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The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...

Next Call of Duty to be set on Oxford Street during Black Friday sales

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The team behind the bewilderingly popular series of computer games Call of Duty has revealed that the next instalment of the franchise will be...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

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Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...

Northern woman puts heating on

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A woman from the North of England has shocked the country by putting the heating on in October. Denise Dufite, originally from the northern town...

Fears for local man missing in Ikea

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Fears were increasing today for an intrepid, brave, noble man who has been missing in Ikea for 14 days. Steve Dickinson from Dukinfield...

Local man begins annual quest to find Muslim offended by the word ‘Easter’

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Our intrepid reporter Charlie Stuart spends the day with a patriot on a mission.
Asda

Black Friday riots as Asda sell trolleys for £1

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Riot police had to be called to a Rochdale Asda today following a bout of civil disorder. Heavy discounts meant customers could purchase trolleys...
Congratulations

Husband remembers to put recycling bin out on right day

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In a stunning feat of memory and dazzling competence a husband from Rochdale has managed to put the right bin out on the right...

Piers Morgan killed in chip pan fire

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In breaking news Piers Morgan has burned to death in a devasting chip pan fire in a static caravan at Hollingsworth Lake Caravan Park

Florence and Dougal quit UK over Brexit fears

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In a shock move, Magic Roundabout stars Florence and Dougal have announced they are quitting the UK to move back to their native France...
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

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Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
Punggye-ri

North Korea piccalilli factory in full production – SHOCKING satellite images show

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CHILLING satellite photographs show North Korean chemical factories are manufacturing weapons grade piccalilli in horrifying quantities. Grainy images at first sight lead viewers to think...

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