Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

0
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
Riot Police

Police called after man without tattoo spotted in Rochdale town centre

26
There was a commotion on Drake Street in Rochdale this afternoon as crowds of people gathered from all corners of the town to gaze...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

0
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
snowstorm

Amber Weather Warning follow reports Northerner is thinking about getting big coat out of...

0
The Met Office has issued an amber warning for apocalyptic snow and ice overnight after a Northerner was overheard speculating that it might be...

Wayne Rooney to be donated to Beijing zoo footballer breeding program

18
Manchester United have announced that they are donating the footballer Wayne Rooney to Beijing zoo. The footballer who has been increasingly marginalised this season will...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

0
The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Dignity

Bin man feared dead after ship called Dignity found wrecked off west coast

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Fears are growing this evening for a Glasgow bin man whose boat has been found wrecked off the west coast of Scotland. The man, a...
Lord Sugar from The Apprentice

Lord Sugar to humiliate 18 tossers in annual quest to find nation’s biggest twat

61
Hairy scrotum faced narcissist and entrepreneur, Lord Sugar, has launched his annual challange to find the UK's biggest arsehole after himself. The one time Klingon...

Britain First’s Paul Golding and the EDL’s Ian Crossland announce engagement

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Shock today as Britain First leader Paul Golding announced he is to marry EDL chief, Ian Crossland. Although the pair often claim to support gay...

Northerner brings Kraft Slices to cheese and wine party in Surrey

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A disgraced Northerner has been barred from ever returning to the South, after he humiliated his sister at a bourgeoisie Cheese & Wine evening...
Asda

Season 9 of The Walking Dead to be filmed in Burnley Asda

0
The Burnley Magic Lantern Club has announced that the next Season of The Walking Dead will be filmed in an Asda store in Burnley. Benny...
Trump Idiotic

Book criticising Trump to be boycotted by people who have never bought a book.

0
There is growing support among Republican voters for a nationwide boycott of the book 'Fire and Fury' which contains several damaging claims about President...
Heart Attack

What do you mean bride’s father pays? Asks Meghan Markle’s father before heart attack

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It's been suggested that Meghan Markle's dad had a heart attack shortly after being told that the brides father should pay for his daughters...

Christmas ruined as Santa fails CRB check

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Christmas may be cancelled as Santa has failed to get his CRB check renewed. The revelation came last night when a Government Spokesperson said, "Santa...
@bluebeany

UK Customs replace “Nothing to declare” signs with “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter...

0
Following the news that Boris Johnson has been elected Prime Minister UK Customs officials have decided to replace all the 'Nothing to Declare' signs...
Knobhead

Knobhead calls knobhead knobhead

0
Renowned knobhead Liam Gallagher has snubbed famous knobhead James Corden by refusing to appear on his TV show Carpool Karaoke. Gallagher, who is currently touring...

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