Donald Trump arrives in Germany and says ‘Ich bin ein Binliner’ Berlin agrees
President Donald Trump landed in Germany Sunday morning to kick off the first leg of his 12-day trip to Europe.
Trump held a surprise press...
Thousands gather in North Yorkshire to see world’s first completely empty Biro
There is more travel misery anticipated for the rest of the week as tens of thousands of people are expected to continue making their...
Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years
Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years.
His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Civilised countries don’t gas civilians, they shoot them with AR-15s bought over counter at...
The US has told a UN Security Council meeting that the recent chemical attack on Syria is completely unacceptable.
Responding to reports of an incident...
Former military cadet fulfils lifelong ambition to visit Vietnam despite agonisingly debilitating bonespurs
A former military cadet has finally fulfilled his dream to visit Vietnam despite suffering from debilitating bonespurs.
The man, now in his seventies, is said...
Nuclear holocaust averted as Southern Rail selected to deliver US missile attack
A spokesman for Southern Rail confirmed to the Rochdale Herald that in view of the anticipated two day delay the four minute warning given in advance of nuclear attacks would consequently be extended to 2,880 minutes.
Damien Green MP makes xxxpenses claim for Porn Hub premium membership
Allegations have recently arisen that Conservative MP and incumbent minister of the cabinet office, Damian Green MP had been browsing and downloading 'thousands' of...
People who go for walks but don’t own a dog are a bit weird...
The Kennel club released a statement this afternoon saying that people who don't own a dog but go for a daily walk are a bit weird, probably up to something and should be approached with caution.
Stevie Wonder just chooses to be blind, says Kanye West
Batshit crazy US rapper Kanye West has said that the Stevie Wonder’s blindness may be a “choice.”
Tim Nice But Dim appointed UK Ambassador to the EU
In a surprise move Theresa May has appointed Tim Nice But Dim UK Amabassador to the EU.
Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
SHOCK as cocaine bought in Rochdale nightclub found to contain trace amounts of COCAINE
Local man Geoff Addy was out partying in Rochdale's premier night club, Kokos, on Saturday for his mate John Bullington's abortion party, when he...
Boris Johnson awards Carillion contract to build bridge to France
Boris Johnson's office has revealed that the Government will award the contract to build a bridge between Britain and France to construction company and...
We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today.
The...
Queen’s Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu
There are rumours today that the Queen's Christmas speech will contain one paragraph in Urdu.
A furious Palace insider told us, "It's completely ridiculous. I've...
Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.
