IKEA announce new post Brexit home-ware range

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Swedish furniture and home-ware giant IKEA have announced that it plans tolaunch a new range of "post Brexit furniture and home-ware" to suit the...
Theresa May Christmas

Theresa May gets into Christmas spirit by ordering census and slaughtering first born children

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Theresa May has finally got into the spirit of Christmas by ordering a massive census of everybody in the UK and slaughtering all of...
England Fans

SHOCK as England fans vote 52 to 48 to LEAVE the World Cup

There is widespread shock around England today after the English voting public voted 52% to 48% for the England football team to leave the...

Man thrown out of vegan cult for wearing donkey jacket

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There was outrage in the Burnley hemp weaving community today after a man was expelled from his local vegetarian cult for wearing a donkey...
Jeremy Corbyn

“We can’t stop Brexit without a strong opposition”, says old hippy who keeps forgetting...

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Jeremy Corbyn has taken time out from his busy schedule of avoiding anybody not singing, "Oh, Jeremy Corbyn" to prove he's still alive and...

Expenses scandal as Jeremy Corbyn claims £30,000 for Hi5 tuition

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Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five. Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

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The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...
Wasps

Wasps are little shits, confirm scientists

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After years of study, it has finally been confirmed by scientists from the Special Training Institute North Grimsby, that wasps serve no useful purpose...

OUTRAGE as Middle Eastern immigrant cast as Mary in school nativity play

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A Rochdale primary school has come under fire from parents for casting a 9 year old Palestinian immigrant as the virgin Mary in the...
oldham

Fears grow for BBC Explorer missing in Oldham

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The alarm was raised today after BBC documentary maker and explorer Professor Robert Falcon failed to emerge from Oldham after missing his rendezvous with...

Absolute arsehole Winnie Mandela dies aged 81

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An absolute arsehole has died in South Africa aged 81.
Annoyed Cat

Dead mouse on kitchen floor is a warning, not a gift

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The dead animals that the cat has been dragging in from the garden are not gifts, they’re warnings cats have confirmed. Fluffles the cat, from...
Cyclist

Man attends Halloween party dressed as cyclist

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A Rochdale man has won a Halloween fancy dress competition after turning up dressed as a cyclist. Bill Board, 35 arrived at pal Stan...
Countryfile

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

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Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected...
Nigel Farage

If it wasn’t for my £4m house and investment portfolio I’d be practically penniless,...

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Nigel Farage, the former leader of Ukip, has told The Rochdale Herald that if it wasn't for his £4M house, his £2.5M investment portfolio...

Arsehole starts fight and loses, man he started fight with arrested

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A dickhead has died in a karmic avalanche after breaking into the home of a 78 year old.

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