FBI

There was nothing to tip us off about that bloke who bought 33 guns...

1
The FBI have reiterated that there were absolutely no clues that a bloke who bought thirty three semi-automatic rifles in one year might have...
Shouty man

We won, get over it! voted 2017 Phrase of the Year by racists

0
We won, get over it! has become the new mantra of choice for racists, according to the results of a new survey published today. The...
Callan

What can we say to Jane other than thank you?

0
A week ago today we started a campaign to buy a gift for a child who needs one this Christmas and the generosity we've...

Burnley mum left ‘fuming’ after finding half a vegetable in packet of frozen rats

0
A Burnley supermarket has been forced to remove dozens of dead rats from its shelves after a customer reported finding half a vegetable inside...

Scientists confounded after man who left coat on still felt the benefit

0
Scientists around the globe are reeling this afternoon after a Rochdale man who didn’t take his coat off this morning still felt the benefit of wearing a coat when he went outside for a cigarette this afternoon.

Expenses scandal as Jeremy Corbyn claims £30,000 for Hi5 tuition

0
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has been embarrassed again this week, as he miss-judged yet another high five. Last week the allotment gardening marxist patted fellow MP...
Cyclist

Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children’s toys denies mid-life crisis

0
A Bloke with shaved legs and huge collection of children's toys denies mid-life crisis. A forty two year old man from Rochdale who shaves his...
Hunt Saboteurs

Hunt saboteurs can’t feel pain, government declares

0
The government has voted to reject a bill that recognises that hunt saboteurs are humans who feel pain and emotion. Following an incident over the...
Kanye West

Fred and Rose distance themselves from Kanye

0
The solicitor for the notorious murderers Fred and Rose West have released a statement saying that Mrs West and her deceased husband are 'in...

Thousands of Leave voters dead after do not drink labels removed from bottles of...

0
Several hundred thousand leave voters have died from drinking bleach in the last few days after labels, required under EU health and safety rules,...

Probably not as many paedophiles on New Year’s honours list as usual, say Buckingham...

0
Buckingham Palace has confirmed today that there was probably an unusually small number of paedophiles on this year's New Year's Honours list. "It's been a...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson launches ‘Free Robert Mugabe’ campaign

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The campaign is headed up by Boris Johnson who is thought to believe that if it's successful he could be the leader of Zanu...
Drinking Wine

Not drinking alcohol only makes life feel a lot longer, confirm experts

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Not drinking will make your life feel a lot longer, according to a study that suggests not being a little bit drunk every day...
Woman who put cat in a wheelie bin

Woman who put cat in wheelie bin appointed goodwill ambassador to World Wildlife Fund

0
In a controversial move the World Wildlife Fund has appointed that old woman who was filmed putting a cat in a wheelie bin in...

Britain First blame Foreigner for it being Cold As Ice

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We don't care if you've heard this joke before, because for us, it Feels Like The First Time. Dirty White Boy fan club Britain First...

Man kills woman

0
A woman has been killed by a man, make sure you use passive voice, the article is going to be about the woman This article...

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