Corbyn Glastonbury

Jeremy Corbyn announces plans to nationalise the Glastonbury Music Festival

23
Standing on the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury, Jeremy Corbyn had a Eureka moment. "If all these bloody people can afford to come here at these...

What’s Sinister about asking academics to wear armbands to identify themselves? Asks Conservative MP

1
A conservative MP and government whip has written to all of the universities in the UK demanding that all the academics and experts in...
Traffic Jam

Chaos on Cambridge roads after Sat Navs hold minute silence for Stephen Hawking

0
There has been chaos today around Cambridge today after all the Sat Navs in the town spontaneously held a minute silence in remembrance of...
Heating on

Northern Dad puts heating on

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Confirmed reports are in that a Northern Dad in Lancashire has put the central heating on. Airports throughout the UK have been closed, all trains...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

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The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.

MP claims he was researching book on whether breasts make noises like clown horns

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Leading MP Pete Who speaks out after being named in the Dirty Dossier. The Member of Parliament for Goveshire West, Pete Who, has given a...
Bob Geldof

Sanctimonious tax avoiding ex-pat hands back key to city he doesn’t live in for...

0
London-dwelling sanctimonious tax-avoider Bob Geldof has said he will return his Freedom of the City of Dublin. Geldof, a remarkably rich registered non-dom who pays...
Children At Christmas

It’s definitely CHRISTMAS – Big Fat Secret Santa buys 13,500 presents worth £97,952

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It is definitely Christmas you unbelievably charitable and hilarious lunatics.  You crazy people have now bought £98,000 worth of presents for 13,500 kids and teenagers...

Wolverhampton and Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands ‘in a matter of...

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Wolverhampton & Dudley will declare independence from the West Midlands in a matter of days, the leader of the autonomous region has told the...

‘On The Buses’ Star In 70’s Sex Shocker

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In light of the recent revelations surrounding the scandalous sexual exploits of certain Hollywood actors and some of our own MP’s, one of Britain’s...
Rees Mogg

Rees-Mogg puts his clock back 200 years

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Jacob Rees-Mogg has, today woken up in 1818 after instructing his Valet to put his clock back 200 years. His Butler, Riff Raff told us,...
Sturgeon

Will of the Scottish People Revealed to be Sturgeon’s Imaginary Friend

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An SNP insider has revealed that Nicola Sturgeon's repeated use of the phrase 'Will of the Scottish People' is actually a reference to her...

KFC chicken shortage averted with introduction of all new recipe

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KFC lovers around the country are thrilled that their local branches are reopening with an all new menu. Chiefs at the multi-national fast-food chain have...
Elmer Fudd

Elmer Fudd resigns as Home Secretary

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The Home Secretary Elmer Fudd has resigned, Downing Street has said. Mr Fudd, was due to make a Commons Statement on Monday about the Windrush...

Kevin the Carrot beheaded by Muslims.

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Popular TV carrot Kevin was among a bag of carrots snatched from the Oldham branch of Aldi by ruthless Muslim gang the 'Iqbal family'. The...

Scottish man DIES after drinking a glass of WATER

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The first fatality caused by the price increase on alcohol in Scotland was announced this morning. Ian McCreedy aged 42 died at his local...

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