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Rochdale, UK

Star in a really cross flight bar

Sun "journo" and fist of reason, Jeremy Clarkson was recently prevented from boarding a plane in Stuttgart, Germany and he claims that the bigoted Argentinian airport worker who prevented him from doing so did...

South Yorkshire Police arrest tree during tree felling protest

The long standing dispute over the unpopular and legally dubious felling of Sheffield street trees took a bizarre new turn when South Yorkshire Police diverted from their tactic of arresting people under out of...

Hospital P.O.S. system hailed a success

A new high tech electronic point-of-sale system developed by a Rochdale company has been described as 'an outstanding success' by managers and staff at Hillingdon Hospital in Middlesex. SVD Systems completed installation of the...

Retailers unconcerned by “Buy Nothing Day”

UK retailers were left smirking knowingly today as momentum gathered for the Buy Nothing Day campaign, being run on the same day as Black Friday.  The campaign which urges people not to buy a single...

Apple to move to Battersea iStation

Apple have announced this week that they will be basing their future British tax evasion projects at South London’s Battersea Power Station. Mayor Sadiq Khan welcomed the move from the tech giant and said that...

Specsavers Official Sponsors Of WWIII

Specsavers has announced it has signed a two-year deal as official sponsors of the forthcoming World War Three, with effect from mid November. The company beat off stiff competition from other brands keen to associate...
Gove and Trump Tourette's

NHS Swamped by Tourette’s outbreak after Gove and Trump footage surfaces

Accident and Emergency departments across the country collapsed utterly this morning after thousands of people swamped hospitals with suspected cases of Tourette's Syndrome.

The Herald Headline Review: Today’s Sunday paper headlines in one easy read

The Sun on Sunday leads with a report that Jeremy Corbyn was seen at the same hotel as someone vaguely related to someone who once walked past the aunt of a woman who once...

Blair to build fantasy superhero based theme park Blair World in central London

Amid all the depressing news at the moment, spirits of Londoners have been lifted by some entertainment news. Tony Blair has announced he will be bank rolling a new fantasy theme park dedicated wholly...

Momentum release Labour leader themed children’s book ‘Where’s Corbyn?’

Children of the proletariat were delighted at the news today that Momentum are publishing a series of exciting Labour leader themed children's books. The first in the series, "Where's Corbyn?", has been published by RH...

Thousands injured after Hypocrisy Bomb detonates at Daily Mail Headquarters

Thousands of Daily Mail employees were left hideously disfigured after an extremist hypocrisy bomb detonated under their lair at Northcliffe House.

Piers Morgan behaves like a d**k on Twitter, again

Piers Morgan has taken to Twitter to characteristically behave like an utter tit today. Morgan, whose only physical accomplishment of note was to fall off a Segway and break two ribs shortly after saying "you'd...

Corbyn Sits Down for the Working Class…..Again…..

Spending a football match without a seat, crushed up against other supporters in the stand, or crouched uncomfortably in the gangway is an all-too-absolutely-never-happens experience for many. But when your ground hasn't been completed...

Community in Shock at the Death of David “Del Boy” Jason

Rochdale was in mourning yesterday at the shock announcement of beloved Rochdale academy alumnus David Jason. He is left by his loving son Graham and wife Barbara. David studied for his spot welding and carpentry...
Clown

Police advise public to ‘grow up’ over rise in clown related call outs

Police call handlers up and down the country have been inundated with calls from concerned citizens in relation to a bizzare new craze in which people stalk the streets dressed as a clown. Caroline Blunkett,...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

Quite why the public aren’t offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners are strangely quiet about an Australian family who came to...

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