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Fake stories exposed: Herald gets its Snopes on.

Everyone is concerned with fake stories recently so we at the Herald have gone all Snopes and trawled the web to reveal all the stories that are utterly false. Whew! There's quite a bit! Firstly we...

Atheists pilgrimage to Dawkins’ home after Darwin appears on toast

Hundreds of atheists have laid siege to the home of renowned ethnologist and evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins after he reported finding an image of Charles Darwin on a piece of toast yesterday morning. Dawkins...

Herald Guide to Parties Brexit Position

As the General Distraction looms ever closer, more and more people are wondering where the various parties stand on the issue of Brexit. So we at the Rochdale Herald, your humble servants, have dug deep...

Hundreds feared dead in Australian irony explosion

In an unprecedented change of heart, the adviser who recommended to ex-Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, that she resume offshore processing, has now declared it should be abandoned.  Paris Aristotle, ironically sharing the name as the...

Big Brother viewers in shock that vapid celebrities are vapid

Viewers of one of Channel 5’s only TV shows with an audience, Celebrity Big Brother, are in shock today after it came to light that vapid celebrities are a bit vapid. “Obviously anyone that I...

Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off

Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off. "I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby" Angelo, a retired pot dealer and part-time chip shop owner...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning Star buying lentil botherer his due,” said third place runner-up...

Modern slavery greatest evil, says woman who supports unemployed working for free

Theresa May has announced that the worst thing in the world, after Trump's hair and Boris Johnson's gob, is modern slavery. Millions will be invested in ending it. The PM, who demanded that police...

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain 1.5 billion litres of human excrement. It is difficult to know...

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods in Maidenhead today. The Daily Mirror are pretty shameless when it...
Brown bear in woods

Smith Reveals Bears have secret plan.

In a speech today Labour leadership candidate Owen Smith has revealed that bears have secret plans to defecate in the woods. In a hustings earlier he said "Under the Conservative government, the instances of bears...

Donald Trump is a profligate dickhead

Donald Trump announced his running mate this morning to cries of "who the fuck is that?" around the world. The answer is some guy from Indiana called Mike Pence. Governor Mike Pence is the obvious...

Further scandal as so called satirical page Southend News Network owners aren’t even Southern!

In what is turning out to be a much dragged out saga of scandal after scandal from those jumped up meme thieves over at SNN comes further revelations as our offices at The Rochdale...

Phillip Green to give his entire worldly goods to charity and live naked in...

Former British Home Stores (BHS) owner Sir Philip Green has announced that he will give his entire worldly goods to charity and that he plans to live "au naturel" in a small copse of...

Government announce plans to build new homes for immigrants on Rockall

Yesterday, far off of anyone's radar and while the teacup storm over Jeremy Corbyn's recent train journey reached stratospheric new heights, the UK government swiftly unveiled plans to begin construction work on Rockall to...

Lord Sauron announces IOC leadership bid

In a move heralded as a new, cleaner era for the International Olympics Committee Lord Sauron announced announced his candidacy for the presidency of  the movement during the opening ceremony of the Rio 2016...

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