Biffer mentions bacon and thinks it’s hysterical

0
Steven Faratrump from Rotherham today went on Britain First's Facebook page and headed straight to one of the thousands of anti-Muslim posts and quick...
Hippies Hippy

Cornwall in Crisis as more middle class hippies leaving than arriving since Brexit

0
Cornwall is in crisis as studies show, for the first time in a generation, more middle-class old hippies are leaving than arriving. One local, Anni...

New American National Anthem Unveiled As ‘Donald Donald Uber Alles’

0
The United States is getting a new national anthem, it has been announced. An executive order has been signed replacing the old anthem, The...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

6
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

ISIS win the war by leaving passports at home

0
America, Russia and the United Nations admitted defeat earlier today and proclaimed ISIS the winners of the global holy war. President elect Trump has already...
Supreme Court

Brex appeal May takes article 50 to Supreme Court

0
The government took its case, that it doesn't need to seek permission from a democratic parliament to trigger a process which will alter the...
Rees Mogg

Argument for abortion makes argument against abortion

55
Underchinned Tory leadership hopeful Jacob Rees-Mogg has upset both women and homosexuals today by saying he is opposed to same-sex marriage and abortion under...

Substitute teacher to stand in for Theresa May in hope of improving cabinet discipline

0
Wilma Beard, a graduate teacher on the books of an education supply agency, has been contracted to fill in for Theresa May in the...
Prime Minister

Prime Minister not taking donations from millionaires for granted

0
The Tory spin doctors are especially busy this morning on the nation's airwaves ensuring everybody they are not taking yesterday's electoral results as a...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

0
Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...

Corbyn reveals election strategy, if I ignore it it’ll get better

0
As Theresa May surprised the country by announcing a snap election supposed Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn was nowhere to be found. Only hours later ...

Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader

27
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...

Gap between rich and poor not an issue say rich bastards

0
The massive gap between the poorest peoples' lot and the vomit-inducing wealth of the world's richest isn't really important, insist representatives for the world's...

Oxford English Dictionary finally defines ‘Brexit’

0
Brexit means Brexit… says Mrs T. May of Downing Street. Her assertion has prompted many people to ask exactly what ‘Brexit’ means. Answers have so far...

Gove clarifies that Government will extend the term non-sentient to include any living being...

0
In a desperate bid to look like the Tories are not using Brexit as an excuse to bring back fox hunting, cock fighting, prima...
Boris Johnson

Leave means Leave says Boris Johnson’s Girlfriend

0
Boris Johnson's girlfriend has apparently told a befuddled Boris Johnson that leave means leave during a heated row at her flat in the early...

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