Walter Mitty announces surprise UKIP Party Leadership Bid

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Fictional character Walter Mitty has announced a surprise bid for the leadership of the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP), challenging current incumbent Paul "I...

Not enough evidence to convict Danczuk of rape says CPS

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The Crown Prosecution Service has declined to prosecute Simon "Shagger" Danczuk on the basis that they are not confident they will secure a conviction.

Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies

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The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...
Blue Passport

A blue passport is an integral part of being British, says bloke who’s never...

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The great victory that is Brexit has delivered old-style blue passport covers to the grateful people. Rejoicing Brits across the country have been applying...

Blair and Farage to launch new political party together

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The two political heavyweights have decided to 'put aside their differences for the future of the UK' they said in a press release. The party,...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson to base Brexit negotiations on Pogs

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Boris Johnson has revealed that the UK's Brexit negotiations will be based on Pogs. The Foreign Secretary and Bertie Wooster of the Conservative Party told Robert Peston...
Houses of Parliament

Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs

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Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...

Politician was my second choice, I really wanted to be a maths teacher admits...

Diane Abbott has responded to criticism of her dismal interview performance on LBC yesterday by saying that she never really wanted to be a...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson granted protected geographical status by EU just like a Jersey potato

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The EU has announced this morning that it has listed Boris Johnson as a product of the United Kingdom with protected geographical status, just...
Liam Fox

Saudia Arabia to pick next UK defence secretary

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Saudi Arabia moved swiftly to reassure the British people this evening that the resignation of Michael Fallon has not caught them by surprise and...
Angry man, steam coming from ears

Stickupthearseitis

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A new disease, spread apparently by social media, is endangering the nation. Stickupthearseitis affects hundreds of people everyday and symptoms include getting salty over satire...

David Davis chosen as Westminster village idiot from competitive field

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Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, David Davis, has been chosen to hold the esteemed job of Westminster Village Idiot, beating off...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is always right and his wee wee smells of rainbows

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In the wake of this week's political posturing a spokesman for Momentum and a journalist for the Canary has revealed that Jeremy Corbyn is...
Michael Gove

Man who treated voters as morons during Brexit confirms voters are still morons after...

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Potato face Michael Gove has claimed that voters could have some impact on the Brexit deal if they so wished. Gove, who famously involved himself...

Bolton Distances Itself From Bolton

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The town of Bolton has decided to release a strongly worded on letter to the press following the election of Mr Henry Bolton as...

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