Dirty Danczuk disappoints again
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit
In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...
Don’t vote for a chaotic Brexit, says cause of chaotic Brexit
Loose cannon David Davis describes the scattergun approach to Brexit as "regrettable". The strident anti-EU campaigner wants the UK to cut the European cord,...
Britain offers to pay off £50 billion European ‘divorce fee’ with jam
Following the news that Cuba has offered to pay its £222 million Cold War debt to the Czech Republic in Rum, Brexit Secretary, David...
Democratic Democrats protest against anti-democratic democracy
Protesters smashed windows and turned violent in Oregon and a few other places last night.
“Trump is anti-democratic!” yelled the crowd protesting against the man...
Michael Gove says Brexit is “like a box of chocolates…”
The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE
Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
New London Development Announced
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Theresa May to rebrand Conservatives as People’s Front of Judea to present united front...
Many alternative names were considered. The United Front of Judean People. This was taken unfortunately by a group lead by David Davis and Sajid Javid. Splitters!
London in crisis as Brexit threatens to make house prices affordable
One of the many mysteries wrapped up inside the "Brexit means Brexit" enigma has been revealed. To the overwhelming delight of the capital's aspirational...
American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...
May to seek permission from Rupert Murdoch to sack Boris Johnson
The Rochdale Herald can reveal this afternoon that Theresa May is alleged to have written to British Prime Minister Rupert Murdoch seeking permission to...
UKIP Historian reveals Russia didn’t invade Afghanistan and Hitler was misunderstood
Acclaimed UKIP historian and shit stirrer extraordinaire, Arron Banks, took to Twitter yesterday to point out that "the Russians didn't invade Afghanistan."
The historian and...
Do I still get lunch asks hungry 6 year old
In light of the slim Conservative majority, primary school children up and down the nation awake today uncertain of their future meal prospects.
"Will I...
Party planner faces cleaning bill after pile of elephant dung left in conference hall
Organisers of a widely publicised public party found themselves faced with a giant cleaning bill this morning after owners of the venue they partied...
