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Labour to campaign for Liberal Democrats in June 8th General Election

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Diane Abbott was resurrected this afternoon to speak to a journalist of sorts, on the BBC. Ms Abbott used one of her last possible...

Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’

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Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.

Britons happy counting down the days till they lose freedom of movement

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Everyone in Britain awoke this morning overjoyed to know they are one more day closer to losing their freedom of movement across Europe and...

Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment

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The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Theresa May

Theresa May announces “peace in our time” following historic call with President Trump

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Theresa May has finally been able to speak to President-elect Donald Trump after 24 hours on hold listening to elevator music.
Children At Christmas

Only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas, say children

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Excitement at a Rochdale school is building after pupils discovered there are only 4 more Prime Ministers until Christmas. One teacher at the Robert Mugabe...

I meant Hindenburg Disaster not Hillsborough Says Nuttall

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Paul Nuttall has sought to lay to rest the controversy over his claims to have been present at the Hillsborough disaster, initially by explaining...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

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Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...
Wetherspoons

Brexiteers to die of cirrhosis 20% sooner thanks to Wetherspoons

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Price cuts on just before date-expired cask ale and fizzy lager mean that Wetherspoons customers will be able to drink themselves to death more...

Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people

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It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.

Sick Home Sec sacked?

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Home Sec Diane Abbott has been off sick since cancelling her appearance on Woman's Hour yesterday but has she been sacked? Jeremy Corbyn was giving...

Donald Trump commemorative jigsaws to have missing pieces by design

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The White House has confirmed that the new range of Trump jigsaw puzzles, commemorating the President's achievements in office, are deliberately missing several pieces. The...
Donald Trump

People hoping absolute power will moderate narcissistic bully

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Political analysts are speculating that now Donald Trump is leader of the free world his personality will metamorphose into that of a wise leader...

Farron u-turns and joins coalition after McDonnell says he’ll let him sip his beer

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"A coalition? No absolutely not we will not do it" said Tim Farron, earlier today at the Westminster bar. However, moments later the Liberal Democrat...

David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom

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David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...

Surprise! I was born in Kenya says Barack Obama

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Barack Obama surprised the world today after announcing that he wasn't actually born in America after all but was actually born in Kenya, and to top it off is a Muslim.

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