Pigs

Brexit Party set for MEP gains. Scientists bring pig brains back from the dead

0
Early opinion polls show a likely overall victory for the Brexit Party in the upcoming European Parliament elections.  Scientists have restored brain activity to...

Tony Blair ego in critical condition after found clinging to Brexit controversy in Atlantic

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After being lost for several months following his exile from the UK, Tony Blair's ego has been found clinging desperately to a Brexit controversy...

New UKIP leader elected yesterday already 3rd longest serving leader behind both Nigel Farages

7
Mr Henry Bolt-on was celebrating tonight after having managed the milestone event of third longest serving UKIP leader, even though he was only elected...

Dirty Danczuk disappoints again

0
Weary Rochdale let out yet another groan of despair after yet more revelations of the serial text pest and pornography enthusiast Simon Danczuk's sex...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

0
The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...
Lego logo

Lego let go of Trump

5
It has been revealed this week that toy manufacturing giants Lego will not produce a figure of president elect Donald Trump. Many have regarded this...
Ivanka and Donald Trump

Ivanka says: I Could Be The Pretty President After G20 Power Play

12
Speculation is rife in Washington D.C. that Ivanka Trump is pondering throwing her hat in the ring for the 2020 Presidential election circus.    After...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...
Rock, Paper, Scissors

Council election draw decided by ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’

0
In a remarkable turn of events, there have been two draws in results in the Local Council elections. Northumberland County Council saw Conservative and Liberal...

Hospital waiting times longest ever as people queue to abuse Boris Johnson

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"Waiting times for the NHS in England are the longest ever and it's because people are waiting so they can abuse Boris Johnson." Rochdale resident...

Rescue Workers Call Off Search for Theresa May’s Credibility

50
Rescue workers hunting through the wreckage of Theresa May's career have called off the search for the remains of her credibility. They made the...

UKIP elects Diane James leader

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Diane James was elected the leader of UKIP yesterday and has already been causing controversy on account of not being Nigel Farage. People outside of...
Time Magazine

Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club

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In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...

Iain Duncan Smith ‘devastated’ he may have to wait six weeks for knighthood

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Iain Duncan Smith, MP for Chingford and Woodford Green, says strict investiture rules mean he could be forced to wait as long as six...
Pensioners

UKIP unveil radical plans to appeal to voters who are still alive

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New UKIP leader, Henry Bolton has caused a stir at the party conference in Torquay by suggesting it should do more to appeal to...

Brexit a Fucking Shambles, Says John Major

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Former Prime Minister and voice of reason John Major has confirmed in a speech that the ongoing government brexit negotiations are a fucking shambles. Major,...

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