Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

0
A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Right-hand drive chaos

Yorkshire driving ban on women to be lifted

27
The King of Yorkshire, His Majesty Geoffrey Boycott the first, has issued a decree allowing women to drive within the Sovereign state for the...
Daleks

Daleks to replace ‘exterminate’ slogan with ‘strong and stable’ for 2049 re-election bid.

7
?Speaking from a neutral zone hyperdock, leader of the New Dalek Empire Theres- Sorry, Dalek Sec, said today that the bid for re-election in...

Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal

5
The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...
Michael Gove

Britons aghast at realisation that Brexit Bonus is Michael Gove as P.M.

0
Ordinary, innocent Britons, along with many who voted Leave, were faced today with the horrendous realisation that the much vaunted 'Brexit Bonus' was likely...

Government’s Brexit staff all writing “Trekking in Nepal” on CV’s

1
Recruitment agencies report an influx of fresh CV's today all listing activity from late summer last year until today as "Trekking in Nepal". All the...
May and Cameron

Theresa May Attempting To Make David Cameron Look Better In Retrospect

0
Theresa May’s goal as Prime Minister is to ensure that people don’t remember David Cameron’s premiership as the worst in history, it has emerged. Speaking...
corbyn

Brexit means Brexit, obviously, says Jeremy Corbyn

0
'Brexit means Brexit and we're going to make a success of it', Jeremy Corbyn will say this afternoon. He will speak from the top of...
Lemmings jumpring from cliff

Leamington to become post Brexit English capital

0
The Warwickshire town of Leamington could become the new English capital following the United Kingdom's departure from the European union, sources close to prime...

UKIP Apologises For Not Knowing What Obvious Means

0
UKIP were forced to admit today that big words like "joke" and "obvious" are generally beyond their grasp. The announcement came after a social media...

Famous Welshman will undergo treatment for addiction to public humiliation

0
Owen Smith is not a man who flinches from an unnecessary challenge out of a risk of public humiliation. In fact, so ready is he...

Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector

0
After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role. A tory deflector will typically take...

Woman always repeating “no meal is better than a bad meal” went hungry last...

3
A woman who keeps saying “no meal is better than a bad meal” to the people she’s supposed to have dinner with went hungry...

Trump publishes ‘first 100 days’ Manifesto

0
President Trump is set to to release a Manifesto on his first 100 in days in office on the eve of his inauguration, a...

Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit

0
In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...

Leadsom’s Children ‘Huge Drain’ On The NHS, Blast Critics

0
A new campaign has surfaced drawing attention to hyper-fertile Tory leadership hopeful Andrea Leadsom's penchant for bulking the national populace. Stop Leadsom Over Breeding for...

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