Treasury seek OAP to sit in baked beans to fund Social Services

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In a surprise press release, the Treasury have today revealed a novel initiative to bolster funding for cash-starved Social Services. In the statement, Chancellor of...

If anyone is going to offer stable leadership it’s us, say bolted horses

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Bolted horses around the UK have taken to social media to suggest that they could provide better leadership than Theresa May.

Having cake and eating it disappointment intensifies

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A group of Rochdale toddlers are stamping their feet and crying after they were told that they cannot have their cake and eat it. The...
Theresa May

Theresa May’s Rituals

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"Theresa May is signalling distress." Dr. Maca Damia comments, viewing photos of the Prime Minister kneeling by the road just inside Wales. "Do you see...

Theresa May declares ‘sit down session’ with Trump a huge success

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British Prime Minister Theresa May Friday declared her "sit down meeting" with newly elected US President Donald Trump to have been "a roaring success". "He...
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

18
Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Theresa May

Theresa May counters ‘dead in the water’ jibes by her splashing about and crying...

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George Osborne expected to push Theresa May’s political career beneath the waterline when he claimed she was ‘dead in the water’, but May quickly...
Champagne Socialist

Champagne socialist accidentally reveals cost of scrapping tuition fees after drinking warm prosecco

3
A Rochdale champagne socialist has accidentally revealed that the cost of scrapping tuition fees would be £100bn. Anthony Taylor-Twyford revealed the cost at a...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

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The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Marxist Bedwetter

Opinions of Entitled Marxist Bedwetters No Longer Valued says LSE

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Social Science lecturers from the LSE were told they would not be asked to contribute to government work and analysis on Brexit.
Badgers

Badgers vote for cull of Conservative MPs

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Radical badgers have declared Dingley Dell an independent sovereign state and have threatened violent action against Conservative MPs in response to the continuing cull. The...

Khan To Rebuild Wall

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Sadiq Khan, flanked by millions of people of various ethnic backgrounds who by and large couldn't give a flying shit where each other is...

Samuel L Jackson to provide voiceover for Conservative DUP deal

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The world of entertainment is buzzing with the rumour that Samuel L. Jackson is to provide the voiceover for the Conservative DUP agreement announced...

Public in shock after Politician is caught lying to promote his own agenda

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The voting public was aghast today to discover that a career politician has been lying and spinning the facts through the media in order...

Campaign to crowdfund a copy of Bravo Two Zero and box of tissues for...

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A crowdfunding campaign set up to raise enough money for a copy of Bravo Two Zero and a man size box of tissues for...
Turkey

Turkeys delighted they’re able to finally “get Christmas done”

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Turkeys up and down the country are said to be delighted that they are now in a position to finally "get Christmas done." "We've been...

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