Nuttall loses close personal seats in election disaster

0
Accident prone Paul Nuttall, leader of UKIP, faced fresh tragedy today after learning that all his ‘close personal seats’ were lost in an election...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn crowned 2016 House of Commons Hide and Seek Champion

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Jeremy Corbyn has won this year's Parliamentary Hide and Seek championship, after only emerging after everyone had stopped looking. “You’ve got to give the Morning...
Houses of Parliament

Government exempts itself from report on racism

4
The Government quickly moved to exempt itself from the report released yesterday which found major inequalities on racial grounds in UK organisations. Speaking without...
Theresa May

Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists

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Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today. Before pressing the big red button that triggers...

CPS To Charge Corbyn With Electoral Fraud

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Jeremy Corbyn is to be charged with electoral fraud by the CPS following reports that, although clearly unelectable, he has been winning elections since...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

0
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

Extinction Rebellion glue themselves to new Brexit deal

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In a disastrous move for Boris Johnson, a member of climate protest group Extinction Rebellion have glued themselves to the newly negotiated Brexit deal. White,...
The Sun

Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun

0
“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.
Danczuk

Rochdale Online to give Danczuk day off

0
In a miraculous change of heart Rochdale Online has decided to give the suspended MP Simon Danczuk a break. Editor Sandra Simonhater said "He...

Rochdale UKIP councillor demands best of three for  Re-Referendum

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Following the announcement that Labour leadership challenger Owen Smith has promised to hold a second referendum on Brexit if he topples Jeremy Corbyn in the upcoming...

Cummings replaced by Orwell in No.10 reshuffle

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Downing Street today confirmed that Dominic Cummings has been sacked and replaced by George Orwell as the government's chief political advisor - effective immediately,...

Red-faced Green makes pinky promise regarding blue movies

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The latest sex scandal to hit the presses involves Damien Green using pornography at work. The de facto Prime Minister-in-waiting appears to have tossed...

Supreme Court rules Theresa May is not allowed to break the law

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In a completely pointless landmark ruling costing millions the Supreme Court has had its final say. Brexit means Brexit, which means both the Houses Parliament...
Dumpster Fire

Dumpster fires unhappy about comparisons to US Democracy

13
Skip fires around the world have declared they are unhappy with being compared to the US democratic process.
Man on Toilet

Theresa May accuses Corbyn of using ‘Fake Poos’ to attack the Government and damage...

0
A damning Government report, and therefore it's Theresa May saying it, has accused men, and therefore by inclusion Jeremy Corbyn, of using Fake Poos to attack...

Hunt solves NHS waiting list crisis with introduction of geological clock

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Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt has solved the problem of NHS waiting times by making hospitals use the geological clock.  After coming under increasing pressure from...

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