Stubborn turd refuses to flush
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...
Jacob Rees-mogg urged to fund charity ‘The Rees-mogg Foundation for mothers who conceive via...
Jacob Rees-mogg was urged today to fund a new charity to back up his assertion that life begins at conception, and no matter how...
Britain First Announces Pact With Lizard People
Britain First, the right-wing political party for twats of all ages, has announced a revolutionary partnership with The Lizard People, a secretive reptilian group of aliens...
Amber Rudd announces plan to ban envelopes
Home Secretary Amber Rudd has announced that envelopes will be banned from the end of the month.
The Home Office has also announced that all...
Michael Gove “more slippery than Teflon”
Independent research at the Technical University of Rochdale has found that Michael Gove is more slippery than Teflon - and that a patent has...
Prince Charles admits years of talking to vegetables perfect preparation for Trump visit
Prince Charles has confirmed that years of talking to vegetables at Highgrove are the perfect preparation for meeting Donald Trump today.
There's been a...
Trump a performance artist, claims Attorney
As the case against Trump supporter and white nationalist butt-nugget Matthew Heimbach heats up, his lawyer has said that Trump may well be called...
Most Brexiteers cheat at Monopoly study finds
Researchers at Rochdale College have found evidence that seems to show most Brexiteers cheat during family games of Monopoly.
Dr Frederick Seddon told us, "We...
Ramsay Bolton has been elected as the UK Independence Party’s new leader
The infamously violent former Warden of the North had the six others in competition for the leadership violently murdered at the UKIP autumn conference...
London prime ministerial fatberg is too strong and stable to shift
Following the news that a massive lump of fat, plastic and waste material is blocking London's sewer works, the Rochdale Herald spoke to an...
Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.
A Scottish...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
I don’t mean to brag, I don’t mean to boast, but I destroy fields...
Reinvigorated Prime Minister takes back control; promises strong Tory programme to boost food banking sector
"Listen up you detestable worms, you aren't going to get...
Revealed! What ‘Brexit’ means.
After months of denying that 'Brexit' could be defined in terms of anything other than being 'Brexit', the Government has finally announced what, in...
Poll reveals public wants good old fashioned political sex scandal
A Herald survey reveals that public perception of politicians lean towards disappointment at them not having any juicy sex scandals anymore.
Carried out at the...
