Tony Blair tattoo

Tony Blair reveals ‘only God can judge me’ tattoo

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Tony Blair has revealed his new tattoo. Mr Blair got the tattoo during a drunken night at Silvio Berlusconi's villa. The tattoo says, "Only...

“Leave scientists” confused by spoon

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Leave the EU scientists found themselves stumped this afternoon when faced with a spoon. They had previously been asked to identify a knife and a...
Theresa May

Theresa May to meet Carwyn Jones to tell him to fuck off in person

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Theresa May is set to meet Carwyn Jones, the First Minister of Wales to reassure him that the needs, plans, hopes and dreams of...

Chinese restaurant closes after filling fortune cookies with prime minister’s slogans

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A Rochdale Chinese restaurant that served bespoke fortune cookies holding the prime minister’s slogans has abruptly closed. The owner of the restaurant, 72 year old...

Mike Pence attends Broadway musical by mistake

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Vice-President elect Mike Pence was roundly booed after he attended a performance of Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’ entirely by accident.
Rees Mogg

Jacob Rees-Mogg late for PMQ’s because he couldn’t find anywhere to park his horse.

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Jacob Rees-Mogg apologised to the Prime Minster today, after arriving late for the PMQ’s at Westminster. Running over 25 minutes late; Rees-Mogg blamed the lack...
Boris Johnson

What’s the fuss, I loved playing sardines with nanny

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Boris Johnson has met Jeremy Corbyn's attack on the Conservative's record on education today with incredulity.
David Cameron

Cameron brings attention to himself to avoid attention being on him

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David Cameron, pig-fiddling, radish-faced ex-PM has decided to step down as an MP. Cameron, who nobody has so much as glanced at in Parliament since...

James Bond producers buzzing about Putin’s Cold War reboot

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The producers of the James Bond movie franchise are said to be absolutely over the moon about Vladimir Putin's recent decision to reboot the Cold War.

Steve Bannon Torn Over Best Way To F*ck The Disabled

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Following reports that Donald Trump will no longer repeal an Executive Order protecting LGBT rights, White House insiders have revealed that his Chief Strategist,...
Jeremy Corbyn

Young people should not be ignored says old man ignoring young people

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Jeremy Corbyn sought to reconnect with young people today over Brexit by sacking the last of the Remainers in the Shadow Cabinet for suggesting...

French PM Tells Boris “Freedom of Movement or Nothing” then Shuts Calais

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British holidaymakers and Brexit voters on their way to France had the opportunity to learn what the term "French border control" actually means over...
David Davis

David Davis replaced as Brexit negotiator by two short planks

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The government announced this morning that Chief Brexit negotiator David Davis is to be replaced by two short planks. It's believed the replacement of Mr....

Brexit voters furious at a British Court today

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Brexit voters today were unsure who to be furious at today after a British Court as opposed to a European Court made a decision about the nature of British Parliamentary Sovereignty.

Every Brit to get UKIP voting Mother In Law before Brexit

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In a move designed to strengthen the government's hand before Brexit negotiations begin in earnest, every British family is to be assigned a UKIP...
Theresa May

Britain invokes Dunkirk spirit of ‘running away’ as EC takes back control of Brexit.

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Theresa May escaped from Brussels late last night, as a small flotilla of fishing boats each carried a tiny morsel of her shattered credibility...

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