Government Set to Outlaw Prime Numbers
In a surprise announcement this morning, it has emerged that the Government has released a White Paper aimed at criminalising the use of prime...
NHS Funding: Less is more insists Jeremy Hunt
A government source told us yesterday that robot eyed shitkicker Jeremy Hunt has decided to take a more philosophical approach to the NHS crisis.
Dr...
Owen Smith Recognised in Tesco Express
In a massive boost for the right of The Labour Party, Owen Smith was spotted and recognised in a Tesco Express in Camden yesterday....
Bullshit to power Westminster by 2025 say Greens
Pure bullshit from the House of Commons is to be converted into useful energy to power the City of Westminster, the Green Party has...
University of life grads outraged over EU threats of further education
Graduates of the world famous British University of Life expressed their outrage this morning after top Eurocrat tyrant Mickie “the barb” Barnier threatened them...
David Cameron to star in remake of Max Headroom
David Cameron is to take the lead role in a remake of cult 80's sci-fi film and TV show, Max Headroom sources close to...
Scientists baffled as average IQ of North Korea drops 20% this afternoon
SScientists around the world are struggling to make sense of strange information coming out of North Korea this afternoon after the average IQ of...
Hammond to tour UK comedy circuit with budget routine
After recently testing his new material in Parliament, Chancellor Philip Hammond has decided to take his own brand of political comedy "on the road."
His...
Government votes to go on holiday early after solving all UK’s problems
Members of parliament have overwhelmingly voted to bring their summer break forward as a reward for having solved all of the UK's problems.
The...
Theresa May’s constant turning catches attention of the Royal Ballet
Theresa May has once again been forced into a U turn on policy, this time on the so called 'Dementia Tax'.
It comes after a series...
Lord Voldemort refuses to compare himself to any character in The Conservative Party
Lord Voldemort was visiting Hogwarts School today and was asked whether he was a fan of the Conservative Party by a student during a Q & A session in the Slytherin common room.
Great repeal bill to herald the return of Spangles
The government's planned "Great Repeal Bill" to change 44 years worth of EU legislation into British law is slated to help turn the clock...
Theresa May shocked and disappointed by contents of freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box
Theresa May is said to be both shocked and disappointed this afternoon by the contents of the freshly installed parliamentary suggestion box.
The box, made...
Conservatives to shoot badgers until Henry VIII powers allow them to hunt with dogs...
Conservative MP George Eustice was allegedly out celebrating at a champagne breakfast this morning after deciding to kill a lot more badgers in order...
Neighbour dispute over building of boundary wall in garden
Two semidetached households in North Rochdale are currently amid one of the most notable disputes of recent years.
One of the neighbours, Don Trimple first...
Brexiter says his raison d’être is to keep English for the english
Brexiter Pierre Norman has spoken to the Rochdale Herald about how his raison d'être is to get England out of the EU so he...
