Conservative Christmas Party cancelled after failing to negotiate piss up deal with brewery

0
There was despair throughout the Conservative Party today after government officials announced that the annual Christmas do has been cancelled. The news comes after many...
Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn is a bit shit, admits former Momentum leader Robbie Tomlinson

0
Former Rochdale Momentum leader, Robbie Tomlinson, whose real name is Stuart Taxley-Gibbon, has admitted today that Jeremy Corbyn, leader of the Labour Party, is...

Labour Proposes New Tax on Books

2
Labour Party Central Office has announced that it would consider forcing book publishers to pay a levy to help pay for Momentum leaflets and...
Theresa May

Theresa May to change name to Votey McVoteface to secure youth vote

0
Prime Minister Theresa May will change her name to Votey McVoteface ahead of this Thursday's general election. With the election a matter of hours away...
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

0
A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...

Tommy Robinson claims free Milkshake during Warrington Campaign

0
Pint sized, shouty, hater of brown people, Steven Yaxley-Lennon, better known by one of his dozen names 'Tommy Robinson' presumably to sound more British...

I am still relevant, insists Nigel Whatsisname

0
EU milker and former leader of has been political party UKIP, Nigel Farage has gotten all salty after the government refused to give him...
Theresa May

Fuck it what’s the worst that can happen Theresa May tells journalists

0
Theresa May has dramatically announced the date for triggering Article 50 with a press conference today. Before pressing the big red button that triggers...
Marmite

Britain to hold referendum to decide whether we love or hate Marmite

0
Referendum fan Nicola Sturgeon has announced plans for a controversial referendum to decide once and for all if Britain loves or hates Marmite.
Jeremy Corbyn

Jeremy Corbyn demands General Election so voters can choose between Brexit or Brexit

0
Jeremy Corbyn has demanded that the Government call a General Election in order that the public can choose between his insane version of Brexit...
Theresa May

Theresa May – the facts

0
Theresa May - the facts She is planning to get Hello magazine to do an exclusive of her luxury life in No 10 2. She...
German Police Train Station

British tourist arrested in Frankfurt after tunnelling out of passport control and trying to...

0
A British tourist was detained by police in Frankfurt today after being arrested at Frankfurt train station. The tourist is understood to have been queueing...
Chris Grayling

We can just eat cats, dogs and harvest organ meat from the poor if...

34
British farmers would just start rounding up household pets for meat in the event of the UK leaving the EU without a trade deal,...
iPhone

Losers celebrate election victory

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The winners of the 2017 election are despondent today as they downheartedly celebrate their victory. “Yay. Fandabby bloody dozey,” said Conservative Unionist National Tory Society...

Nuttall Calls Fraud On Stoke

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Paul Nuttall, UKIP’s caretaker leader, has upset the Westminster apple cart by demanding a recount of votes in the Stoke by election. “I want to...

Tory leadership contest to be between Mark Francois and two slices of cheap ham.

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With Theresa May's grasp on power reduced to the nail varnish on one finger, the candidates to replace her have been formally announced. Weighing in...

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