Boris “getting Coronavirus done”. PM tests positive.
The Rochdale Herald can confirm that the Prime Minister of the UK, Boris Johnson, has tested positive for Coronavirus.
Having been tested for Coronavirus on...
You fucking asked for it vindictive Remain campaigner tells public after triggering Article 50
Theresa May has told the British public that "you fucking asked for it" at a press conference after formally triggering the process to leave...
EU to force UK to use £ s d following Brexit…
Brussels has warned that Britain will no longer be allowed to use the decimal system following Brexit and will be forced to go back...
Three Tenors worth only £17.93 after Brexit
Outraged music lovers everywhere have been devastated by the news that Brexit will cause the Three Tenors to be devalued to £17.93.
Observers have noted...
Shadow equalities minister forced to resign after being published in The Sun
“I was stacked up on Coke and painkillers when I wrote it.” Said the ex-secretary of state for women, men, badgers and quality street.
Loathsome Tory bastard calls for end to public sector pay cap
Boris Johnson has taken the lead in the call to end the public sector pay cap in response to the clear mandate delivered by...
52% support euthanasia bill
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Donald Trump to appear on Jeremy Kyle Show
Jeremy Kyle was said to be jubilant this morning after securing an exclusive appearance by Donald Trump.
The show which is titled "Five children by...
Twitter scientists confirm discovery of human parrot hybrid that only speaks Tory
The BBC’s most insightful political journalist has been discovered to be a species of parrot and awarded a delightful new name today by natural...
Dianne Abbot ‘can count on all 12 fingers’ times the biased media have tried...
After an embarrassing spate of catastrophic interviews, Dianne Abbot has complained that radio and television hosts are now deliberately and maliciously trying to confuse her.
In...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Grenfell Tower survivors offer Michael Gove their last five pounds to bugger off
Survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster suffered a further shock last night when esteemed Tory minister Michael Gove was spotted in the vicinity.
It's believed...
Power hungry arseholes also pervy fuckers shocker
The United Kingdom is in shock this week after an all-party think tank found that power hungry arseholes of all political persuasions are also...
Anarchist delighted Guy Fawkes mask is next day delivery on Amazon Prime
Protests and rioting have rocked the city of Hamburg this week in the wake of the G20 summit. A large police presence as a...
Government expands badger cull to five new areas despite warnings it doesn’t work
We to need press on with the solution, said Theressa May when questioned before all the MP's went on their jollies, leaving the...
Saint George will be denied entry visa under proposed post Brexit immigration rules
Brexiters across the land were furious today with the news that proposed changes to immigration rules after Brexit make it highly likely Saint George...
