Corbyn says it’s the pits for May

5
Bouyed by his Saturday Durham Miner's Gala deification in front of the last 200,000 or so flat-cap wearing left-wing supporters in the country, Jeremy...
face palm

Hammond to read policy documents before saying them out loud in future

0
Phillip Hammond, for now at least Chancellor of the Exchequer, has announced that in future he will "have a butchers at" major policy documents...
Sean Spicer

Whitehouse denies denying things that were denied last week

7
The Whitehouse press corps was today left totally baffled by the latest denial issued by a Whitehouse press spokesperson. The denial was in response to...
Philip Hammond

Fresh sexism row after Hammond overheard telling Theresa May not to ‘worry her pretty...

0
Philip Hammond was today facing another storm over his casual sexism as it was revealed that his response to the Prime Minister's concerns over...
Homeless

Government announce £100m fund to eradicate park benches and electrify shop doorways

0
Housing and Homeless Ministers announced a package of measures worth £100m to eradicate homelessness today. As part of the measures 4,751 park and town benches...
Trump

Donald Trump fails to mention the length of his penis in speech defending western...

9
Donald Trump left an eager crowd shocked in Poland today when he failed to mention the length of his schlong once during a rousing...
Pensioners

52% support euthanasia bill

0
The Government has been urged to hold a referendum on euthanasia following research that showed that 52% of voters would support the introduction of...
Theresa May

Theresa May breaks fingernail as her grip on power weakens

14
Government manicurists today rushed to Theresa May's aid following a nail injury, frantically claiming it was merely "chipped varnish". As finger after taloned finger...

?Britain First & UKIP oddly quiet about white family abusing student visa rules

0
Quite why the public aren't offended by the white, middle class family trying to buck the immigration system is baffling academics as anti-immigration campaigners...

Trump gives world a ‘pearl necklace’ as withdrawal does not stop emissions

0
President Donald J. Trump will keep his promise not to come in the world’s mouth and insisted he would squirt his emissions onto the...

New London Development Announced

0
With todays news that the Calais Jungle has been cleared of filthy asylum seekers, the ramshackle dwellings have immediately been occupied by an even...
Downing Street

Stubborn turd refuses to flush

6
A massive turd that is blocking the downstairs bog next to the Cabinet Meeting Room in Downing Street has been studiously ignoring hints that...

Tory sparks by-election because… er…reasons.

0
Former non-dom tax shy billionaire's son and general Tory role model Zac Goldsmith has resigned from his position as a Tory MP after the...
Angry

Rochdale man who’s never voted pledges to ‘bring down Torie scum’ by voting Green

0
Gareth Thundlestick from Scumsunk crescent, Rochdale, said he became politically active after ruining the suspension on his 1986 Ford Capri whilst negotiating a pothole too fast. "That...

Smart Energy may help me keep job – says National Grid boss

0
The new head of the National Grid, Nicola Shaw,  has today encouraged consumers to opt for "smart energy" devices which will enable her to...

Make America Great Again

0
We keep hearing Donald saying he's going to make America great again, sounds good to us but we were curious to find out when...

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