Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

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President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...
Putin Trump

Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’

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Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz. The...

Hillary Clinton’s ‘Human Suit’ malfunctions at 911 memorial service

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The Presidential frontrunners cybernetic 'human suit' momentarily glitched at the recent 911 memorial service at ground zero yesterday, the third time this has happened...
fox cubs

Corbyn supports hunting with dogs repeal in Government manifesto

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Jeremy Corbyn has pledged to support the Conservative Party's promise to repeal the fox hunting ban. This appears to be the result of him mishearing...
Bashar-al-Assad

Shock poll puts Bashar Assad ahead of May and other UK party leaders

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The first opinion poll conducted since Prime Minister Theresa May called a snap general election for June 8th has delivered a shock result. A staggering...

Rochdale PR firms enters FTSE 250 after winning Simon Danczuk crisis management contract

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There was jubilation in Rochdale this afternoon as Clifford Savile Associates PLC announced their entry into the FTSE 250 for the first time. The news...

Some bloke in UKIP said something about the BBC

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Bill Etheridge, a candidate for hard right conservative comedy troupe UKIP has said that the BBC should be privatised because it's "shoving left wing...

Corbyn warned to Beware the Ides of March

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Jeremy Corbyn, twice elected leader of the Labour party has been warned by a soothsayer to "Beware the Ides of March". It comes days after the...

Buying a house is really stressful first time buyer tells bloke in queue for...

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A first time buyer has been explaining how stressful buying a house is to a man he met in a foodbank. Taylor Twyford-Twist was doing...
Denis Skinner

Labour Conference to go ahead as Dennis Skinner with baseball bat confirmed as security

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The Labour Party have announced that their conference will go ahead despite G4S laughing in their faces when begged to supply security. "We are sorry...
Conservative Party

ISIS claim responsibility for Conservative Party Conference

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The attackers wrote Boris’s jokes, Theresa May’s speech and arranged for all the letters to fall off the wall behind the Prime Minister during her main conference address in an audacious display of comic timing.
Ski Trip

Momentum members take comfort from prospect of cheaper ski holidays

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Whenever election results don't go as hoped, there is always a chance that the downhearted will become the outright depressed.  Fortunately, Momentum organiser Mia...
Downing Street

DUP advises British Gas customers to burn witches and Catholics to keep warm this...

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Princess Diana's body is to be exhumed and hung on a gibbet outside Buckingham Palace to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the last witch-hunt...

‘Everybody in Scunthorpe will lose their jobs’ was on the other side of bus,...

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Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted...

Jacob Rees-Mogg completely opposed to jazz music and women in trousers under any circumstances

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During an appearance on The One Show this week, Conservative leadership favourite and plum-voiced time traveller, Jacob Rees-Mogg admitted his firm 1920s beliefs meant...

Trump Press Secretary buys fireproof underpants

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The secret of Press Secretary Sean Spicer's propensity for hyperbolic bullshitacity has been revealed.  He has reportedly been wearing a revolutionary new type of asbestos...

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