Boris Johnson

Boris overheard telling King Felipe of Spain ‘NO GIVO BACKO, CAPICHE’ whilst pointing at...

27
Boris Johnson has unveiled his diplomatic plan to engage with King Felipe and Queen Letizia over Brexit negotiations at a state meal. Johnson told the...
EU

EU condemns punchy politics

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After events today the EU has made an announcement about violent behaviour. Guy Verhofstadt, famous both for having a mouth like a vending machine and...

Despot responsible for mass starvation and crimes against humanity meets Saudi Prince

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The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia has raised concerns about human rights in the United Kingdom during talks with the country's barely elected despot.

May rains on International Happiness Day with Brexit announcement

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March 20th has long been designated International Happiness Day, a day to celebrate all that is good about life in the 21st century. However there...

Sturgeon First Reserve for Brexit Talks Peter Duncan

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Theresa May has committed to involving all "key stakeholders and significant leaders" in a working group on the UK's Brexit strategy.
Passports

Now that passports are blue again I might get one, says 50 year old...

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A fifty year old racist fuckwit has told The Rochdale Herald that he is over the moon that passports are now going to be...

Corbyn treated for dizziness after performing student debt pirouette on Andrew Marr Show

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Jeremy Corbyn is reported to be recovering this afternoon after suffering a severe bout of dizziness following the performance of a pirouette on student...

Thousands of Americans in hospital after attempting microwave selfies…

0
Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway’s assertion that microwaves can ‘turn into cameras’ has led to thousands of Americans winding up in hospital after putting their...
Trump in a barrel

American lawmakers to submerge Donald Trump in barrel of water to see if he...

8
It was announced today via The USA news site that Donald Trump will be immersed in a barrel of water to see if he...

Immortan Joe assures War Boys Post-Apocalyptic Desert Dystopia less chaotic than Brexit

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Gas Town will not be "plunged into a Brexit style world borrowed from dystopian fiction" after the nuclear winter, Immortan Joe has said today.

Tories fined £20 million for pumping untreated sewage into people’s brains

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The Conservatives are facing a hefty fine after it has been discovered that their manifesto pledges and reassurances over Brexit were found to contain...

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson’s statistics

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UK Statistics Authority have reaffirmed the old adage today that there are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and Boris Johnson's use of...
riot

Anarchists praise efficiency of German train network as G20 riots start on time

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The German city of Hamburg is hosting the 2017 G20 summit in which world leaders come together to discuss and agree on action on...

Poppy Squad to begin patrolling UK streets from next week

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Poppy Enforcement Directive Officers (PEDO's) are to begin patrolling the UK's streets from next week, the Government has announced. The officers, obese men dressed in...
Hot dog

G20 Crisis as Trump eats hot dogs in Hamburg.

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President Donald Trump caused outrage in Hamburg, Germany today, eating hot dogs and apple pie and drinking root beer all flown in with him...

UKIP policy committee accidentally executes itself

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UKIP's national policy committee has accidentally hanged itself following the launch of its new policy demanding that under aged girls from "risk groups" be...

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