Outrage as Trump BBQ ruins White House lawn
White House officials were said to be furious today after Trump supporters burned a cross on the South Lawn last night.
The BBQ, which was...
Nigel Farage in eleventh hour bid for International Twat of the Year Award
Nigel Farage has made an eleventh hour bid to snatch the "International Twat of the Year Award" from Donald Trump.
It’s a Global Thing, insists Brexit economist
Rochdale financial expert and three times bankrupt Brexit economist Ivana Sendham-Bach claimed today that the announcement that the UK was about to enter a...
Government reassures voters post-Brexit ration books will also be blue
The government has taken bold steps today to reassure the public after a leaked Whitechapel report detailed how the UK is likely to face...
Grant Shapps hires ferry fleet to transport people back to offices
Transport secretary Grant Shapps is so convinced that going back to work in offices is safe, that he has hired a fleet of ferries...
Trump joins Time Magazine “Person of the Year” club
In a move in keeping with the utter shit show that has been 2016, Time Magazine has named the orange baboon Donald Trump "Person...
Unemployment figures fiddlers hit all time low
The government is celebrating today as the figures released by the ONS show that unemployment as at its lowest since 1975 or something.
“It’s a...
Fury as UK migration laws mean that London will be SWAMPED with Brummies by...
Birmingham is a modern, cosmopolitan city whose motto, Forward, sums it up perfectly. The smug, self-serving shithole that is London is the reverse. With...
Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'.
"I wanted to play with...
Brexit date to be celebrated by New ‘May Day’ Bank Holiday.
It has been announced that as of 2019, the 29th of March will become known as 'May Day' in recognition of the glorious achievements...
Australian Government launches plan to solve poverty by fining poor people
It has been revealed that secret meetings between the Prime Minister’s office and the Australian Federal Police has culminated in Operation Integrity, a scheme designed to push as many welfare recipients as possible, over the edge.
Aliens Behind Trotskist Entryism, Claims Watson
Speaking from inside a tent made entirely of tinfoil, Deputy Leader of the The Labour Party told us that Aliens from the planet Luminx8-B...
60 million Americans explore cryogenic freezing to escape Trump
With the ordeal of four years of President Trump looming over the horizon millions of Americans have applied to be cryogenically frozen for his term in...
Slightly right leaning liberal centrist wishes everybody would just piss off
Slightly right leaning liberal centrists declared publicly today that they wish everybody would just piss off.
"I wish everybody would just piss off." Bob "Bobby"...
Theresa May to open new Ministry of Silly Bans
Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a new Ministry of Silly Bans, to be set up immediately.
The job of the new department will be to...
Michael Gove says Brexit is “like a box of chocolates…”
The Brexit negotiations have been tentative, at best, with British MPs doing their darndest not to get absolutely battered in the process. Unfortunately, Britain’s...
