Champion Shadow Cabinet Minister in U-turn U-turn
MP Sarah Champion, permed badger and former/current shadow Minister of Preventing Abuse and Changing One's Mind, unresigned today in what the Guardian and Owen...
Trump and Putin secret G20 meeting beyond ‘Netflix and Chill’
Reports ejaculating out of Hamburg indicate that the secret meeting between President Trump and Vladimir Putin transcended sharing a duvet and gorging on Hagen-Daaz.
The...
Theresa May unable to un-grit her teeth after assuring Boris that he can keep...
Number 10 have confirmed today that Theresa May’s teeth are well and truly gritted and not coming unstuck anytime soon.
Whilst seen as a potential...
Whitewash of establishment nonces in the interests of the children – says dame
Amber Rudd is set to give evidence to a commons committee on the state of the inquiry into child sexual abuse in place of...
Soon to be estranged husband proposes ‘transitional sexual union’
Under the suggested terms of the deal, Britton, 34, would remain in the family home for up to a further two years, and would be entitled to avail himself of all the sexual benefits associated with a normal marriage.
Symbolic figurehead has dinner with elected European leaders
The symbolic figurehead of the United Kingdom, Theresa May, dined last night with the twenty seven elected heads of the European Union.
Ms May was...
Bands line up to celebrate Trump’s impeachment
The Rochdale Herald can exclusively reveal the star studded line up already in place for celebrating the impeachment of Donald Trump, expected to take...
Politicians human too. Balls!
Speaking on the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2 this afternoon, Strictly Come Dancer Ed Balls made the outrageous claim that politicians are...
Ed Millibland’s Tombstone to be Used for Thousands of Homes
The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland.
It's...
Essex dog fears for future after hands-on meeting with Prime Minister
Essex - A black and white border collie from Sonning, Essex was reported to be safe in protective custody after being accosted by the...
Trump thrilled crowds at his German rallies bigger than Obama’s
President Donald Trump has spoken of his delight at how many people have come onto the streets of Hamburg to welcome him to Germany.
The...
Liberal Democrats now so wet they’re considered homeopathic
A stink has been kicking up this week after the British Homeopathic Association were forced to distance themselves from the Liberal Democrats after a northern fake newspaper editor claimed The Lib Dems were less effective than homeopathy.
Woman alleges Corbyn hasn’t paid her for pram PR stunt yet
Ms Mia Faberge has alleged Jeremy Corbyn is yet to pay her for the PR stunt wherein she lent him her sister’s baby in...
Proposed Irish border solution scattered Lego bricks and sign saying ‘please remove shoes’
Brexit negotiations have hit a "a real problem" over the issue of the Irish border, government sources have confirmed today.
Hopes of a breakthrough were...
Director of CIA asks Jason Bourne to drop in on Trump for a ‘quiet...
The Director of The CIA, John O'Brennan, asked Jason Bourne to pop over to Trump Tower.
Following allegations Donald Trump made about the US intelligence...
Owen Smith has beaten off 1,200 young boys – says Owen Smith
Owen Smith has caused another Labour controversy in parliament after beating off hundreds of boys in an attempt to pull his wife.
Mr. Smith told...
