The polls that are currently condemning Jeremy Corbyn to fail once predicted success for the socially inept, humanoid shaped play doh figure, Ed Millibland. 

It’s not the first time the polls have been wrong and it won’t be the last. Discussing their unreliability, stringless Thunderbird puppet, Nigel Farage said “Bloody Poles, coming over here and getting the outcome of our elections wrong”.

Unfortunately Mr. Millibland believed all the positive predictions. So much so that he had a 50ft granite tablet commissioned engraved with now empty promises.

Confused tweed clad Geography teacher, Jeremy Corbyn said;

“The tablet is a disgrace which cost the tax payer thousands of pounds. To give something back, if I’m elected as leader again, then again next year and the year after that one and then the one after that and then I win a general election I’ll have the tablet ground down and used in the contruction of thousands of homes.”