The Daily Mail

Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer of the soul

9
Following sickening reports of yet another moron mowing down innocent pedestrians, the Daily Mail has excelled itself by implying that the victims were to...
Donald Trump

President Trump tells reporter to ‘lick my donkey balls’ and denies Donald Trump jnr...

3
Donald Trump mounted a sustained attack on the media during a fiery and at times chaotic news conference today, aggressively denying that Donald Trump...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson Sits In With Infant School Maths Class, Answers 350 Million To Every...

0
Boris Johnson seems to have a one-track mind when it comes to numbers. While visiting an infants' school in Rochdale, he sat in on...
Corbyn

Sacha Baron-Cohen amazed no one has seen through his Jeremy Corbyn character

0
Sacha Baron-Cohen has expressed amazement that no one has twigged that he is the man behind the character 'Jeremy Corbyn'. "I wanted to play with...

New Tory Crabbs Clinic opens in Rochdale

0
Great news for Rochdale's Yorkshire Street just keeps rolling in. As well as being a wonderful area for shopping, entertainment and food, it's also...
Donald Trump

Donald Trump to let Donald Trump fail now as it will be a lot...

0
Donald Trump has decided to extend his executive decision concerning repealing Obamacare to his entire presidency. It is believed the most successful man ever to...

Brexiteers Celebrate Scrapping of Human Rights Act

1
Today The Justice Secretary announced the scrapping of The Human Rights Act as outlined in the Tory Manifesto to a room full of Sith...

Million chimps on typewriters still haven’t come up with Brexit plan

1
In an undisclosed location somewhere in an underground catacomb deep under Westminster, project Megachimp has been underway for several months now. It's aim; to...

If Labour win election I’ll do Match of the Day nude says Gary Lineker

0
Labour bosses have signed up Gary Lineker to work his magic on the election.
Trump Airplane

Trump state visit downgraded amid protest fears

81
It has been announced that President Trump’s forthcoming visit to the UK has been downgraded from a full state visit. POTUS was invited to meet...
Average Joe

I have no idea what’s going on, says Will of the People

0
The infamous Will of the People has finally been outed by Rochdale Herald researchers. His real name is Will Fallfrit, and he has opened...

‘Everybody in Scunthorpe will lose their jobs’ was on the other side of bus,...

0
Boris Johnson has taken to social media today to clear up any misunderstanding that the 66% of people who live in Scunthorpe and voted...

Teresa May in Dogging Scandal

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This seemed to be the headline that the Daily Mirror were fruitlessly alluding to in their article about a condom found in some woods...

Uncovered: The Secretive Unelected Group That Controls Our Future

1
The Rochdale Herald has uncovered a secretive, unelected group of conspirators who control the destiny of the UK.  The powerful group, known as 'The Electorate'...

People Telling Me I Shouldn’t Have Told Schoolgirl To F*ck Off Can F*ck Off...

4
The Conservative MP for Wells, James 'Compost' Heappey got all sweary when visiting the massively overpriced Millfield Academy for Young Toffs and Toffettes.  A Scottish...

Picture yourself in their shoes

0
A picture of Omran Daqneesh, the five year old boy who was pulled from the rubble that used to be his home in Aleppo,...

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