Pork Scratchings

Relief as far-right mob turns out to be burst bag of pork scratchings

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Police have attended an incident in Rochdale today after numerous concerned calls reported a far-right mob assembled in the town centre. Attending officers would like...

Farage Security Concern as Public learn sense can be knocked into UKIP MEP

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Steven Woolfe, the UKIP MEP, is being hailed as a “Medical Miracle” after becoming the 1st person in history to have had sense knocked into him.

Anna Soubry appointed official Tory Deflector

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After Miss Soubry's stellar and wholly forgettable performance for the remain campaign, she was deemed perfect for the role. A tory deflector will typically take...

Simon Danczuk delighted to not be the sleaziest MP in a photo

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Disgraced pornography enthusiast, first class passenger, casual sext pest and Rochdale MP Simon 'Spanker' Danczuk is said to be "absolutely buzzing" that he's not...

Putin, Trump, British American Tobacco & Belgium New 4 Horsemen as Pope reboots Apocalypse

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Trump, Putin, British American Tabaco and Belgium appointed new 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Theresa May

Theresa May’s plot to run the country foiled by Theresa May

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Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the...

Electoral Commission added to watchlist of subversive organisations

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The Government announced today that, after a long and thorough review of the workings of the Electoral Commission, they have added it to the...
Boris Johnson

Boris Johnson sneezes and accidentally appeals for 32 British people to be stoned to...

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Boris Johnson has apologised for his "sneeze" during comments about a bus full of British women on holiday in Saudi Arabia. The foreign secretary said...

Tit in Parliament in tits in Parliament row

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Andrea Leadsom has found herself an unlikely ally in the UK's war on women and motherhood, Sammy Wilson MP. Mr Wilson, the DUP MP for...

Labour reports sophisticated cyberattack after Jeremy Corbyn’s MySpace account is hacked

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The Labour Party has announced that it has been the subject of a cyberattack today. A spokesman told us, "We first became aware of the...

Expat Moans About EU Citizens in UK

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A British expat has hailed Parliament's rejection of EU citizens' right to stay in the UK post Brexit. Speaking from beside his swimming pool at...

Mike Hookem’s Dad officially bigger than Steven Woolfe’s Dad

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Following an altercation in Strasbourg yesterday between two fully grown adult men, Mike Hookem and Steven Wolfe, UKIP released a statement saying;

US to build lots of walls around Mexicans in US.

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Donald Trump has confirmed that the building of the Mexican wall will go ahead and has given further details of its construction.  Rather than trying...
Houses of Parliament

Government announces above-inflation pay rise for vital frontline MPs

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Chancellor Philip Hammond responds to calls to offer above-inflation pay rises to public sector workers in Westminster, after a survey revealed that four out...

Confederates, KKK and slave owners outraged by Appointment of Jeff Sessions to Attorney General

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Confederates, slave owners and prominent members of the Ku Klux Klan have taken to Facebook to condemn Trump's nomination of Jeff Sessions to the office of Attorney General.

Corbyn popularity ratings soar after ZZ Top grant him keys to magic Hot Rod

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In what would at first glance appear to be a complete and utter ripoff of an Onion article dating back to 1997, Labour Party...

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