Theresa May will face a cross party parliamentary committee this week, after it was revealed she foiled her own plot to successfully run the country.

Activate spokesperson, Randy Carrington-Phurr, confirmed with the Rochdale Herald the plot had been running for a couple of years but had run into trouble in recent times.

“It’s origins can be traced back to David Cameron’s offer of the Brexit Referendum. That’s where it ask started to go wrong, basically.”

It’s the latest in a number of plots that it is believed Mrs May had foiled this year alone.

Other plots foiled include leaving the EU, bribing the DUP, sacking Boris Johnson, vandalism Jeremy Corbyn’s allotment and stealing Christmas.

Labour MP David Pitman was quoted as saying “It was a most unrealistic plot from the outset. To launch some sort of attempt to put together a competent cabinet, led by Theresa May is completely ridiculous.

“We all know this is something which has been attempted over several parliaments, but has always been a complete failure.

“She spent the most part proving that robots walk amongst us, and kept muttering something about being a strong end table.”

It’s believed that welfare cuts, U-turns, opposition leaders with catchy chants to their name and Jacob Reece-Mogg were all factors in the failure to successfully carry out the plot.

It’s believed Mrs May had foiled the biggest plot in parliament, since 1605. A range of Teresa may masks are now in production in the hope she will now become a cult figure.

After the committee report is released it is expected the prime minister well step down to become the new Downing Street cat.

Quentin D Fortesqueue is a founding editor of The Rochdale Herald. Part time amateur narcissist and full time satirist Quentin is never happier than when playing his lute and drinking a full bodied Bordeaux. He rarely plays the lute and never gets to drink Bordeaux.